H.G. Tudor > Quotes

“Yet you cannot let go. Why?               I can let go. I can let you drop so easily. That is because I do not see you as a person but rather an appliance that I switch on and off. I don’t need you for two months so I switch you off and put you away. You do not trouble my consciousness. Not once. So when I have subjected you to another bout of silent treatment and you are sat weeping into your glass of pinot grigio wondering aloud if I am thinking about you, I can help you with that. No I am not. You no longer exist to me. You never existed.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I am completely incapable of accepting I have done anything wrong because as I have explained, I am not subject to the usual rules and conventions that bind people like you.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I never play all my cards at once. You will realise that as you read through what I tell you and you should always keep that in your mind. I am one step ahead. Always. You may have a good hand but mine will always be better (so what if the ace was hidden up my sleeve? Who said we had to engage according to a set of rules?)”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I smiled as realisation dawned. The method I used the most was the silent treatment. It is fantastic. It requires minimal effort (always a good thing) and can be used immediately. What I like most about it is the fact that the recipient will have no idea whatsoever why I am doing it. This really messes with their mind. They cannot understand why I will not communicate with them, as they cannot work out what they have done to receive this treatment. If they had any understanding of me, they would just walk away and let me get on with it. That would annoy me, as they would no longer be giving me any attention so I would halt the silent treatment, as it was no longer working. Instead, they HAVE to know and understand why I have gone silent. It burrows into their minds and twists away as they ask question after question.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“To make you my puppet I engage on a two-pronged approach. Firstly, I make you utterly dependent on me. I open the doors and let you look upon heaven. That way you are in awe of what I can give you and you want it, oh you really, really want it. Secondly, I will then remove every method of support both real and potential that you might rely on to try and recover your free will (family, friends, colleagues and so on - I will be posting about how I do this through my slur campaign in a separate post) so that you have nobody to turn to. Thus, as you look on heaven entranced and enraptured, I am opening the trapdoor to hell right under your feet.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“You cannot help but over analyse this situation. That is part of your DNA and why I chose you. I keep you spinning round and round. This entertains me and also softens you up for when I do decide to make the grand entrance. Whichever way I decide to return, return I will and I shall do so in triumph as I capture you once more.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“You always need to reflect on how often do I actually do something as opposed to say something.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“You are mired down for week, months and even years with the ghosts and memories of the past. For me they evaporate in an instant and free me to act with impunity. I have no reminder of what has happened. There is no cautionary tale. There is no record of things that came to pass. That is why it is futile to try to draw the past to my attention in some hope that I may change or may recognise the force of what you are saying. You try to point out something we once had, once done, once shared. Not to me. It never existed. It is a waste of my energy to hold onto the past. I never look back. You would do well to do the same.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“In discussion with Dr O I have learned that it blossoms from two things. The first is that this feeling of massive vulnerability and wretchedness still persists and I cannot stand it. I think this is peculiar to me because God has made me brilliant but He wishes to remind me of my mortality and therefore causes me to feel such a horrendous pain when I am attacked. It sickens me and leaves me wracked with agony.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“That is what it is all about. Making you my puppet. This is my aim. This is the means to my end of obtaining my fuel from you. As you will no doubt becoming familiar with, the means always justifies the end. Accordingly, by ensuring you become my puppet I am in the optimum position to control you to extract every drop of fuel I can from you. I need to control you so that you admire me when I want it. I need to control you so that I can pull the strings and make you jerk to my tune. I am the puppet master.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I will lie in order to deflect criticism.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“certain things that are done or said create a triggered state. This is not grounded in the present. Instead, it is a re-enactment of an early learning experience that supersedes the present moment.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“There is no room for sentiment. Everything must go to enable you to combat this manipulative technique. Photographs. Burn all of the photographs that I appear in. Remove them from all social media, mobile phones, PCs, laptops and tablets. Yes, you may look fantastic in that picture with me (I am sure you can alter it so you are preserved and I am not). As you remove the pictures say “I delete you (say my name)” and this process of exorcising me from a visual part of your life will feel uplifting. All gifts, mementos, cards, letters and those little trinkets that we so often send one another must be removed. Burn them, shred them and dispose of them. Where possible, sell certain items and you will gain increased satisfaction from having made some money out of it too. Do”
― H.G. Tudor, Escape: How to Beat the Narcissist

“I know full well what I am. I have known it for a long time and I am proud of what I am. There are those that suggest that my kind is oblivious to our identity. That is excuse making from namby pamby do-gooders. I know what I am. I am everywhere and I am everything and I am only increasing in prevalence and numbers. That’s why you need to read on.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“Through our frequent discussions, it is fair to state that there comes a point in all of my relationships (be they lovers, friends, colleagues and so on) that something happens where I lose interest and instead feel an overriding need to demean and belittle.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I think it was FR David who sang 'words don't come easy to me'. He clearly wasn't one of my kind. Words are my weapon. I love words. I am a thesaurus able to conjure up so many different ways of saying the same thing. I am able to create the most evocative of pictures as the falsehoods tumble from my lips. The torrent of empty platitudes, hollow promises and banal observations comes thick and fast. I am a triumph of presentation over substance. Unfortunately for you, because of your nature and what you have endured before I came along, my words are honey-covered and you are unable to resist their allure.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“You on the other hand are not blessed with such a means of moving forward. You remain mired in an emotional attachment which I understand never really leaves you.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“This results in him constructing a false self-image. To maintain his inflated but fragile self-esteem he tries defensively to avoid awareness of negative aspects of self”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“(ask my ex-wife how many times we reached agreement during our divorce and how I then spun things around) and deny we ever reached agreement. It is one thing to have an agreement, it is entirely another to be able to enforce it. I know that and I also know the time and economics involved in trying to do so. This results in you giving up. I think it is called playing the system.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“The narcissistic self tries at all costs to avoid a confrontation with his repressed feelings of inferiority, depression and emptiness. The author has an unrelenting desire for admiration and will engage in inappropriate and reckless behaviours in order to acquire this admiration. He exhibits envious feelings towards those who are socially successful. His narcissism protects against this envy. Any positive attention he receives is experienced as narcissistic gratification. It is clear that the author’s narcissistic behaviour is fuelled by his belief that this behaviour is the only way he can impress others as he considers his true self to be unattractive.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I was polite and well behaved because that was what was required to advance.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I often utilise a method that ensures this state of affairs remains, as it should be, with me blameless. I achieve this by accusing you of precisely what I have been doing.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“They reported back to me that I consider myself as more intelligent than most people, that I am more amusing; I am more likeable and more successful. I am also more physically attractive than most people. Well, hell yeah! They then also established that I am obsessed with power (who isn't if they have any drive and ambition - you don't become President by sitting there do you?). I am also impulsive. I agree. I am arrogant (I call it confidence but what's in a word?) and I like to exaggerate my success and abilities. That is true, how else am I going to get people to do what I want.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“Selfie, selfie, selfie. What was wrong with taking a photo of the sunset without you in it?”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I have to cut people down. From my extensive discussions with Dr O I have come to realise that this is wrong but I cannot help myself. The urge to destroy, denigrate, criticise and belittle is overwhelming. I have to spoil. There is no hope for an alternative.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“You may realise that nothing is ever my fault. It is evident why that is. I am special and above the regular humdrum vagaries of life that affect the little people. Accordingly, since I cannot be held to account, by reason of my elevated status in the world, it follows that nothing is my fault.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“It also means that I can manage your expectations. I get away with more and you expect far less. Again, it is all designed to enable me to do what I want.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“I am obliged to see two doctors in accordance with the stipulations of my treatment. More may be added. I shall have to wait and see. I hope more are added. That will increase the challenge for me. I must attend my consultations with these eminent physicians. It is a condition of the arrangement. I would like to see more doctors. I regard the sessions as a challenge. They are a battle. A battle of wits and intelligence.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“In that time you will be obliterated too by my anger, my rage and my fury. But that is collateral damage to my need to remove the emptiness inside. You caused my pain so you must feel the cure. I can see it is unpleasant for you, the shouting, the venom, the accusations and vitriol that I send in your direction. Sometimes the cure erupts from my fists. I cannot help it, as I must let the rage burn to remove the emptiness. You can help it though; don't criticise me.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist

“What matters to me is that she is an untapped reservoir of attention and one from which I will drink deep but not for long. As I did with you, I shall tire and move on. For now, the rush that I acquire from chasing after her is so powerful it gives me what I hunger for.               You cannot defeat this hunger. You are doomed to lose me from the moment you met me. I know you find that so difficult to process and even harder to adjust to since you invested so much emotional energy in our relationship but it is a fact.”
― H G Tudor, Confessions of a Narcissist