Lap of the Gods (episode)/Transcript

This is a transcript for Lap of the Gods (episode) the first episode of season 5 of TMNT (2003 series).


	VOICE-OVER INTRO
Kon-Shisho	Like the serpent eating its own tail, as one journey ends, another begins. But now, after centuries of vigilance, we of the Ninja Tribunal see the journey's end with no new beginning. The end of all things is coming. And so, we prepare for battle. The Tribunal has chosen eight acolytes, eight warriors from around the globe, each of different disciplines, and skills. Each who have shown potential. A spark which must now be fanned into a flame. A flame to combat the Heralds now free to fulfill their hideous mission: the summoning of the one we have feared all these years. Eight acolytes. If they fall before the oncoming darkness, so shall we all.

{Opening sequence; title song}


	The episode begins aboard the Ninja Tribunal ship as it travels across the ocean towards Japan.
Michelangelo	What the shell have we gotten ourselves into?
Donatello	I’ve always wanted to see Japan, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
Adam McKay	Yeah man, I don’t think this place is in any tourist guides.
	The ship sails between jagged mountains.
Raphael	I don’t know about you, but this cruise into mystery is getting real old, real fast. This stinks, Leo, big time.
Leonardo	Any movement from the tribunal, Tora?
	Tora is seat crossed legged atop a skylight mounted in the deck. He looks down into the interior of the ship.
Tora Yoshida	Nothing, kame.
Raphael	Then I say we go down there and make a move.
Leonardo	There’s still too much we don’t know about the tribunal, about this threat they mentioned.
Raphael	You gotta be kidding me! They kidnapped us! They sicced their wooden soldiers on us and tried to make us take each other out. They’re the threat, and you still wanna wait and see?
Faraji Ngala	Warriors! We have apparently arrived.
	The ship has sailed into a harbor which dead ends at an ornate dock. A ramp from the dock leads to an opening in the mountain.
Michelangelo	This is it? I was expecting something a little more… cool. [Donatello taps his shoulder and points up. Mounted on the side of the mountain is a huge dragon shaped staircase.] Ohh, that’s more like it.
Juto-Shisho	Acolytes!
Kon	You must disembark now. The path ahead is long and difficult, and your burdens are great.
Juto	Probably too great.
Donatello	Burden? What are you— [Kon points behind them and they turn to see heavy backpacks laden with camping gear.] Oh.
	The acolytes start up the staircase, each carrying a heavy pack on their back.
Raphael	What did they pack these things with, bricks?
Michelangelo	No, bro’, that’s just your head.
Raphael	Keep yapping, Mikey. Soon as we get to the top—
Adam	Sheesh, they always this way to each other?
Leonardo	No, usually they’re a lot more annoying. [They continue up the steep staircase. At one point, Leonardo pauses to look down at the ship.] What do you think the tribunal’s doing down there?
	In the ship, the tribunal stands facing one another.
Juto	All is in its place. The wheel turns once more. Let the journey finally begin.
	All four lift their hands. The ship creaks and then rises out of the water. It begins to ascend.
Leonardo	Whoa, guys, look!
	The others join him and look down.
Raphael	No way!
Michelangelo	Dude! That’s… that’s…
Adam	Awesome.
	The ship passes them and continues upwards.
Michelangelo	Nobody said there was an express elevator. Come on, that’s not fair.
Raphael	Turtle luck running true to form.
	The acolytes continue their climb and help each other over the peak. They then proceed across a bridge which leads to a huge monastery.
Michelangelo	I think I saw this place in ‘Better Holes and Nightmares’.
Leonardo	Save it, Mikey.
	They reach the entry to the monastery, and the large double doors swing open of their own accord.
Michelangelo	You think they have a pay phone in there? Master Splinter has to be worried.
Leonardo	He wouldn’t be the only one.
	The group enters and the double doors swing shut behind them. Soon they enter a large building, which is in darkness, and set their packs down.
Juto	Acolytes! Behold!
	A light brightens at the end of the room, which proves to be an Oratory. There is a sudden flash, and the entire chamber is lit by floating Japanese paper lanterns. The Ninja Tribunal sits upon ornate chairs mounted on a raised dais reached by stairs on either side. An oval pool in the floor is in front of the dais. Around it are eight floor pillows.
Juto	The Lap of the Gods. The Tribunal monastery. [All gasp.] Your new home. Sit. Time is short. [The acolytes approach the seats around the pool.] An ancient evil imprisoned for over a thousand years threatens to return. You eight have been chosen to combat this threat. [The acolytes sit down.] Our enemy can wreak untold destruction through both physical and mystical means. You must be prepared to combat it on all fronts.
	Kon stands, makes hand gestures, and glowing amulets appear around the necks of each of the acolytes.
Faraji	Huh?
Tora	Whoa!
Kon	These are the Amulets of the Acolyte. It will aid you to focus and amplify your inner power. Your chi.
Raphael	Great. Now we get dog collars.
Kon	Perception is not always truth. All you think you know about this world, about yourselves, even about reality itself – all of this will be challenged. Here, in the Lap of the Gods, you will learn secrets not shared for millennia. Secrets known only by we of the Ninja Tribunal. I am Kon-Shisho! [Smoke puffs from his armor and then a swirl of blue surrounds him. In a flash, his human form is revealed.] Ninjutsu Master of Spirit. This is Juto-Shiso. [Chains shoot from his body and then his form is revealed.] Ninjusu Master of Weapons.
	The green-armored member lifts a fist and punches the floor. A puff of smoke reveals her human form.
Kon	Chikara-Shisho. Ninjutsu Master of Strength. [The last Tribunal member flings aside his cloak.] And Hisomi-Shisho. Ninjutsu Master of Stealth.
Chikara-Shiso	All things will be explained in time. As for training, it begins now.
	She performs hand gestures and a bright light glows nearby. The acolytes stand and draw their weapons.
Raphael	Uh-oh. Every time they do that ninja patty-cake thing, it means trouble.
	A set of glowing doors appears in the center of the room. Chikara gestures again, and the doors open.
Faraji	On your guard!
	Donatello pushes past Leonardo and Faraji, a wide grin on his face.
Donatello	Hey, guys, it looks like… yes!
	He enters the room, which is filled with books and long tables. The other acolytes enter as well.
Adam	This doesn’t look like training to me. This looks more like—
Donatello	Studying!
Michelangelo	Studying? Aw, man. I don’t suppose they have a comic book section?
	Soon the acolytes are scattered around the library, reading or searching through the shelves. Seated at a long table, Leonardo and Donatello flips through a pair of books.
Donatello	Wow, Leo, this is incredible.
Leonardo	I know, but, um, maybe you could translate this bit here for me.
	He slides his book over to his brother.
Donatello	Hmm. It’s all about focus and energy, but physically manifesting it. [His amulet begins to glow.] It’s like expressing your chi, [glowing purple stripes cover his body] your own life energy through sheer force of will.
Leonardo	Uh, Don.
	Leonardo backs away.
Donatello	All you have to do is concentrate. Huh?
	He suddenly realizes he’s glowing. The glow fades.
Don/Leo	Whoa!
	Snoring and mumbling from the other end of the table makes them turn. Michelangelo is sound asleep and drooling on top of a book. Cut to a courtyard where there are a pair of poles with dragon carvings wrapped around them and red flags on top. Adam and Donatello stand near the poles. Kon claps his hands.
Kon	The Dark One and will strike when he finds you distracted. [The two acolytes climb the poles and reach for the flags. Suddenly the dragons come to life, shaking them from their perch and them clasping them in their jaws. The drop the acolytes at Kon’s feet.] Hmm.
	Elsewhere, Tora and Raphael stand with Juto on the edge of a cliff. Hanging in the air before them is a triple-ring of fire, shaped like a bulls-eye.
Juto	Without hesitation, without remorse, you must strike your enemy and strike true, or suffer.
	The two acolytes shoot arrows at the fire, but both miss. The flames flare and then dozens of arrows shoots out of it. The two acolytes run. Chikara stands on a trail along the side of the mountain. Walking up towards her are Faraji and Michelangelo, each with a shoulder pole on which two large boulders are attached to either end.
Chikara	Aw, do you tire? [They both collapse.] The Dark One never tires, ever!
	She punches the side of the mountain with her fists. Boulders roll down the trail and the two acolytes jump to their feet and flee. Inside the monastery, Hisomi looks on as Leonardo and Joi walk along two narrow ropes which are stretched above a pool of water. Suddenly he squats and then straightens, causing the spring-loaded mounts on which the ropes are attached to release. Both of the acolytes are thrown into the water. Later, the doors to the Oratory open and eight very tired acolytes enter.
Chikara	We had hoped for more, acolytes.
Kon	Their efforts are unimpressive. Perhaps we were mistaken. Perhaps they are hopeless.
Juto	Perhaps they are weak! Do you not understand what is at stake?
Splinter	How could they possibly understand what is at stake when you have told them nothing?
	Everyone spins around to see Master Splinter approaching the still open doors into the Oratory.
Turtles	Master Splinter!
	Splinter enters the Oratory and immediately, the Mokusai no Bushi leap down from their perches to surround him.
Leonardo	Protect Master Splinter!
	The turtles draw their weapons and jump over the Mokusai no Bushi in order to form a protective ring around their father.
Raphael	Bring it on, blockheads. I’ve been aching to break something all day.
Kon	Enough!
	The Mokusai no Bushi back away.
Juto	The rodent is not permitted here, as it well knows.
Chikara	How did you come to find this monastery?
	A clacking sound turns everyone. Approaching the entrance is the Ancient One, who pauses for breath. He grins, chuckles, and waves.
Juto	Pathetic.
Adam	Dude, your sensei is a rat.
	The Ancient One runs up to Splinter.
Ancient One	Splinter, let us not make things harder than they need be. Your sons are safe. We should rest and discuss this with a level head in the evening.
Chikara	There is no time for discussion, young one. The crisis we prepare for is upon us now.
	Kon begins to glow and stands. Making hand gestures, he pulls a swirl of green water from the pool. It forms a circle in the air, becoming a looking-glass which shows a large ship.
Chikara	The five Heralds of the Dark One are coming. Heralds with only one purpose, to reawaken their evil master.
	The image clears for a close-up of the ship and its deck. Five glowing rings form on the deck.
Kon	They are after three artifacts. [The rings transform into the Heralds.] Ancient relics that will allow them to complete the ritual of resurrection. Two of the artifacts were stolen from us and are already in the possession of their vile servants.
	Suddenly the Metal Mystic lifts his arm and slashes the air, cutting apart the magical looking-glass. Kon exclaims and stumbles back a step as the water falls back into the pool.
Chikara	If the Mystics complete the ritual, a terrible evil will be unleashed upon the world. This cannot be allowed.
Leonardo	You mentioned a third artifact. Where is it?
Juto	The third artifact is hidden safely here, in the Lap of the Gods.
Splinter	Then the tribunal can continue to guard it, without my sons.
	He turns and catches Leonardo and Raphael’s arms to pull them along with him.
Juto	Do not test us, rodent. Babysit your sons if you must, it changes nothing.
	Michelangelo starts to follow his family, but a rumbling sound startles him and then a few stone pebbles from above land at his feet.
Michelangelo	Huh? [The ground shakes, the rumble grows louder, and more stones fall.] What the shell is that?
	Kon leaps back to his feet.
Kon	No, impossible! How could they have moved so quickly?
	Five columns of smoke slip down from the ceiling. Smoke billows out from under the door, and the walls of the Oratory begin to crack, allowing in even more smoke.
Juto	The Monastery is under attack!
Chikara	Acolytes, to the inner chambers! We will deal with the intruders ourselves.
	She spins in the air and lands holding a giant, glowing kanabo. Kon flips onto the back of his chair and draws twin katanas from midair. Hisomi twists his body and a pair of metal tessens appear in his hands. He vanishes in a puff of smoke, and reappears in front of the doors just as they start to open. Hisomi grabs the doors and slams them shut, leaning against them as something pushes from the other side. Chikara bounds from pillar to pillar as she races towards the ceiling, but a column of smoke slams into her, catching her in its grip and slamming her into a stone pillar. The smoke then envelopes and traps her. Kon turns into a whirling dervish and cuts through the smoke column, but as he goes to free her completely, more smoke rises from the pool and smashes him against a pillar right above Juto’s head. Then Kon is also trapped in a ring of smoke.
Kon	Aah!
	A thick column of smoke swoops down towards Juto, who flings multiple shuriken and kunai at the smoke, which swallows the weapons before slamming into Juto and trapping him. The door then cracks in several places and a column of smoke slams into Hisomi, sending him hurtling back against the dais. When the dust clears, it is seen that Hisomi has also been captured.
Leonardo	They got the tribunal! [The acolytes draw their weapons.] It’s just us now.
Raphael	Yeah, just us against what?
	The entire ceiling caves in and a large, spiked form appears, outlined by the full moon above.
Hayashi-Aki	Fools. [Flames sprout from its body.] They foretold the return of the Master and now they think they can stop it? The Master cannot be stopped. [It blows out a spike of fire and then grabs and holds it like a weapon.] All who would stand in his way will perish!
	The flame spike changes into a giant metal sword.
Leonardo	Master Splinter, what is that thing?
Splinter	Hayashi-Aki, a fire demon!
	The demon swoops down on fire wings and the acolytes duck as it swings at them with its sword. It flies back up and slashes the remainder of the ceiling with its tail, setting the tiles ablaze. The ceiling collapses and Splinter shoves Leonardo and Raphael out of the way. The debris falls and buries Splinter and the Ancient One.
Leonardo	Master Splinter! Turtles, attack!
	As they leap, the Hayashi-Aki smacks Michelangelo, Donatello and Leonardo out of the air. Raphael jumps at its face, but the demon catches him and slams him into the floor. Adam uses his entire body to spin his mace and chain, and then strikes the Hayashi-Aki in the chest with the spiked, metal ball. Expanding its chest, it flings the mace away, sending Adam, who still holds the chain, flying. Adam hits the wall and collapses. Tora leaps at the demon, but it backhands him into another wall.
Leonardo	Tora’s down too. Mikey, try to free the tribunal!
Michelangelo	I’m on it, Leo!
	He races for the tribunal, but pulls up short when the demon’s tail strikes the floor in front of him. The Hayashi-Aki swings down at him with its sword, but Michelangelo scrambles to his feet and dodges. He runs across the water in the pool, and then hops onto a dais chair when the demon strikes again with its sword.
Michelangelo	Whoa! [He ducks as the demon swings its sword, slicing off the top of the chair.] Aah!
	The sword has also cut into three stone pillars behind the dais. They crumble and fall, crushing the dais, and burying Michelangelo and the tribunal.
Donatello	Ah!
Leonardo	Mikey!
	Joi races for the Hayashi-Aki, swings her rope dart weapon, and wraps it around the demon’s sword wrist. It yanks her off of her feet and she flies towards the demon.
Joi Reynard	Ah! Uh! Aah!
	The demon’s chest opens and tentacles wrap around Joi before pulling her into its body. Long black tentacles then shoot from its body and Faraji slices through them.
Faraji	Joi!
	He rolls aside as more tentacles strike at him. Tora runs at the demon, and when the tentacles attack, he uses his sickles to slice them. He is quickly overwhelmed by numbers and carried off by the tentacles. Donatello tries to reach him, but is beset by tentacles, which he bats away with his bō. Another tentacle appears, but he stabs it down with his staff and then when the tentacles attempt to form a cage around him, he balances on the staff and spins around, using his feet to sweep them away. Donatello lands on the floor and then lifts his amulet.
Donatello	If I concentrate, maybe I can…
	He focuses and is infused with mystical energy, which forms as the glowing purple stripes. His body is surrounded by this energy, and when the tentacles once more attack, they are burned away by the glow surrounding Donatello’s body. The glow fades and Donatello looks around.
Donatello	Huh? [He grins.] Ha, ha! [Looks over at Leonardo.] Did you see that? It worked! Leo, we have to—
	Before he can finish the sentence, the Hayashi-Aki’s tail smashes him.
Leonardo	No!
	The Hayashi-Aki laughs. Faraji moves to stand next to Leonardo.
Faraji	We are all that remain. If we should fall…
Leonardo	Then we make sure as shell this thing falls with us. Hy~yah!
	He and Faraji leap at the demon. They do not reach it as flames shoot out at them, enveloping both. The pair fall hard on the floor.
Hayashi-Aki	And so it ends before it has even begun. Poor mortals, to think they could stand against the Master’s power.
	It spins and then flies up into the night sky to vanish. Below, Raphael and Leonardo both lay in craters in the floor, right next to each other. Leonardo groans and rolls his head to look at his brother.
Leonardo	Raph. Raph, I’m sorry.
Raphael	We come all this way, and this is how it ends?
Leonardo	We weren’t ready. How could we be? How could we fight this?
	There is a ringing sound, a bright glow, and then Leonardo opens his eyes to find himself seated next to the pool.
Raphael	Leo, what happened? [All of the acolytes are unharmed and seated around the pool.] We ain’t sliced, diced or fricasseed.
	The Ninja Tribunal are seated on the dais.
Michelangelo	What the shell?
Chikara	Perception is not always truth. All you think you know about this world, about yourselves, even about reality itself.
Juto	All that will be challenged, and more.
	The tribunal members stand and more together on the dais.
Kon	The sooner you learn this, the sooner you will be ready to face task ahead.
	Hisomi throws a smoke bomb on the floor and the tribunal vanishes. Standing in the open Oratory entrance, Splinter and the Ancient One look at each other.
Michelangelo	So let me get this straight. None of that was real?
Raphael	Brilliant deduction, Sherlock shell-for-brains.
Leonardo	Oh, it was real all right. Our first real lesson with the tribunal, and I have a feeling there’s a lot more to learn.

{Roll end credits}