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[Opening sequence and theme song.]


[Episode opens on a sign reading “Mardi Gras Parade Today”. April is doing a live broadcast.]

April O'Neil "The mood here is one of festivity as we await the big Mardi Gras parade, and, of course at Mardi Gras time, everyone is in costume."

Michelangelo "Whoa, babe, not everyone, okay? We're here au naturel."

Burne Thompson "That's a wrap, Vernon. Let's move to the jewelry store location."

Vernon "That was quite adequate, April. Now, let's get ready to--yeow! Where did you people ever get those ugly turtle costumes?"

Raphael "Probably the same place you got that ugly mask!"

Vernon "But I'm not wearing-- now just a darn minute!"

April "I'll be with you in a sec, Vernon. You fellas really should be in costume."

Donatello "Hey, it's major fun for us just to be able to walk around without everyone staring. What are you supposed to be?"

April "I'm a seventeenth-century noblewoman right out of the Three Musketeers."

Michelangelo "Uh, don't you mean the three mosquitoes?"

April "The Three Musketeers, the book by Dumas. You fellas should read it."

Vernon "April, I'm not getting any younger!"

April "Or any nicer. See you guys."

[Cut to the Technodrome, where Krang and Shredder are watching April’s broadcast.]

April "This portion is brought to you by Pfeiffer Jewels, which is currently displaying the priceless Star of Brazil diamond. This enormous jewel was recently unearthed in the world's deepest mine."

Krang "The fools! That stone is Impervium, the lost element of Dimension X."

Shredder "What do you mean, lost?"

Krang "Do you have time for a flashback?"

Shredder "Why not?"

Krang "It was our first experiment with dimensional travel. We were attempting to send the only known sample of Impervium to Earth. We never found out where the Impervium landed until now."

Shredder "What makes this Impervium so valuable?"

Krang "It's the hardest known substance in the entire galaxy. With it, I could create weapons never before seen."

Shredder "Oh. Rocksteady, Bebop, go steal that Impervium and bring it back here."

[The transport module leaves the Technodrome.]

Krang "Little does Shredder realize that having the Impervium will make me invincible. With it powering this force field generator, no weapon in the universe can touch me!"

[In the lair, the turtles are watching TV.]

Michelangelo "Dudes, this grape jelly pizza is righteously awesome."

Donatello "It's the perfect snack for watching ‘Revenge of the Polka Dot Slime, part five’."

Leonardo "Guys, you've got to read this book. Some crook steals the queen's diamonds, okay? And D'Artagnan has to get them back."

Donatello "Cool out, Leonardo. This is the best part."

Leonardo "These musketeers were inseparable just like us, and their motto was ‘all for one and one for—’
[His brothers throw pizza at him.]

Hey!
"

Raphael "It's gonna be a free-for-all if you don't pipe down!"

Leonardo "Okay. I get the message. I'm just trying to expose them to great literature, Master."

Splinter "Do not give up, Leonardo. It took your hero D'Artagnan much time to gain the musketeers' respect."

Leonardo "I wish people respected us. Hey, Master, that's it!"

[Shift to April, talking to Leonardo on her turtlecom.]

April "Four musketeer outfits? Well, I'm sure the costume department has some. Sure, I can arrange it."

Leonardo "Thanks, April. Maybe they'll help make people treat us with more respect."

April "Irma, I have a parade to cover!"

Irma "Oh, April! What woman doesn't have time to browse through a jewelry store?"

April "Well, all right, but just for a minute."

[Suddenly, Rocksteady and Bebop burst through the back door.]

Rocksteady "This has got to be the place."

Irma "Hey, it's Rocksteady and Bebop."

April "Quick, get down! This is April calling the turtles."

Jewelry Store Salesman "What can I do for you, uh, gentlemen?"

Bebop "We came for that big rock."

Salesman "If you're referring to the Star of Brazil, I'm sorry, but it's not for sale."

Rocksteady "Oh, no problem. We don't wanna buy it. We wanna steal it."

Leonardo "We've got to hurry! Rocksteady and Bebop are holding up Pfeiffer's Jewelry store."

Salesman "No, you cannot have the Star of Brazil, and that's final!"

Rocksteady "Oh, yeah? Uhh! What do you say now?"

Salesman "Would you care to have it gift wrapped?"

Bebop "We got it."

Leonardo "If you're talking about trouble, you're right."

Bebop "It's the turtles!"

Rocksteady "Hey!"

Leonardo "I'll take that stone."

Rocksteady "You want a stone? Here, shellhead. Catch!"

[He throws a jewelry stand at Leonardo, knocking him down. Leonardo loses his hold on the stone and it bounces outside.]

April "Let's get out of here."

Irma "You're right. We've done enough browsing."

April "Oh, no, My costume is caught!"

Irma "Wow! What's this? Imagine throwing away a gorgeous diamond like this. Some people are so wasteful."

Donatello "Leonardo is hurt."

Michelangelo "Come on, amigo. Wake up and smell the pizza."

April "Leonardo's hurt? Leonardo! Leonardo, are you all right?"

Leonardo "Uhh!
[Begins speaking in a British accent.]

Quite all right your majesty.
"

April "Your majesty? Why'd you call me that?"

Leonardo "What else do you call the Queen?"

His brothers "The Queen?"

Donatello "If she's a queen, then who are we?"

Leonardo "You are my friends. Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, of course. The three musketeers!"

Raphael "Oh, swell. Then who, pray tell, might you be?"

Leonardo "Why, I'm D'Artagnan, naturally."

Michelangelo "Uh-oh. Looks like our head dude just came unglued."

Donatello "Tell us, Sensei. How is Leonardo?"

Splinter "He is resting comfortably. In time, his memory should return."

Leonardo "Come, my comrades. There are wrongs to be righted and damsels to be saved, and you musketeers aren't even dressed."

[Begins tossing costumes to his brothers.]

Donatello "My fault, guys. I put the costumes April sent over in Leonardo's room."

Raphael "Clever move, brainiac."

Splinter "Actually, Donatello did the right thing. You must humor him by putting on these costumes."

Michelangelo "Pretend we're musketeers? Bogus, dude."

Raphael "Look, I'd give Leonardo the shell off my back, okay? But I am not wearing lace with feathers, and that's final."

Donatello "Same here."

Michelangelo "Ditto."

[They are all dressed as musketeers.]

Raphael "I feel pretty stupid."

Donatello "Same here."

Michelangelo "Ditto."

Leonardo "You, lad. Our lodgings are a mess. Clean them up like a good fellow."

Splinter "But I am not a servant. I am your Sensei."

Raphael "Shh! Remember what you said-- we must humor him."

Splinter "As you wish, Master D'Artagnan."

Donatello "Uh, listen, D'Artagnan. About that diamond—"

Leonardo "The diamond! Of course! I vowed to the Queen I would find her stolen jewel. Come, Athos, Porthos, Aramis! One for all and all for one! Ha, ha!"

Michelangelo "Whoa! Wait for us, dude D'Artagnan."

[In the Tecnodrome, Krang is throwing things at Shredder.]

Shredder "Stop this tantrum and just tell me what's wrong."

Krang "What's wrong? I gave you a vital mission, and you sent those two ant-brained mutants to botch this up."

Shredder "Look, I can't go racing to the surface every time you want some silly bauble."

Krang "With that silly bauble I could generate an impenetrable force field. I'll give you one more chance to get that Impervium gem, and this time, don't fail."

Shredder "I'm through taking orders. Once I get that Impervium gem, it is I who'll be invincible."

Rocksteady "How come we're swiping the force field generator, boss?"

Shredder "Because I'll need it once I get my hands on that Impervium gem. And remember, not a word of this to Krang."

[Cut to Irma’s apartment. She is looking at herself in a mirror, admiring the gem that she has attached to a necklace.]

Irma "Oh, this is so gorgeous. I can't believe anybody would toss this away.
[Her telephone rings.]

Hello.
"

Thompson "Irma, get down to the parade route pronto! I need you to run a camera."

Irma "But, Mr. Thompson, I'm a secretary, not a camera operator."

Thompson "If you're not here in ten minutes flat, you won't be either one!"

Irma "Well, since you put it that way—"

Donatello "Well, D'Artagnan, does this jewelry store bring back any memories?"

Leonardo "Hmm. It certainly does. I remember this place well."

Donatello "Hey, it worked! I knew he'd remember."

Leonardo "This is where we fought the henchmen of the evil Richelieu. Let's find those wretched knaves."

Rocksteady "Oh, we've been all over this street and there ain't a trace of that stupid Imperuvia Emperava ... that gem."

Bebop "I think some lousy crook must have stole it."

Leonardo "Aha! We meet again, scoundrels."

Bebop "Wha--? Who is this creep?"

Rocksteady "Ah, just one of them jerks from the parade."

Leonardo "I am D'Artagnan. En garde, villains."

Rocksteady "Ooh, let's flatten this flake."

Leonardo "Better luck next time, mon ami."

Michelangelo "I got to try that."

Donatello "It's an excellent tactic."

All "En garde!"

Rocksteady "Uh-oh. More of them pointy things."

Bebop "We better warn the boss."

Donatello "We mustn't lost them! They must know where the diamond is. This way!"

[April has returned to broadcasting from the parade.]

April "The first float in our Mardi Gras parade is now coming into view."

Vernon "Irma, you're supposed to be aiming the camera, not buffing your tacky jewelry."

Irma "I can't help it, Vernon. It's so gorgeous."

Shredder "Where did those nitwits drop that Impervium? Why is this city so big? That blasted Impervium gem could be anywhere."

April "This next float represents progress in petroleum."

Vernon "Psst! Irma, you're aiming the camera backwards."

Michelangelo "Hey, let's see if the parade's on the tube."

Leonardo "Look, there's the Queen's diamond on the lady in that box! That belongs to Her Majesty, wench!"

Raphael "Hey, cool it, D'Artagnan. That's Irma, and she's not inside that box."

Michelangelo "Donatello, get us to the parade, and I'm talking warp speed."

Krang "It's taking Shredder an awfully long time to locate that Impervium gem. He better not be double-crossing me. Foot soldiers! I want the force field generator guarded day and night. It's gone! That metal-faced mongrel stole it. Follow me."

Irma "Hi there. I love your costume. I know a villain who wears one just like it."

Shredder "And I love what you're wearing-- the gem! At last it's all mine!"

[He picks up Irma.]

Irma "Please, we've only just met. Let's not rush things."

April "It's Shredder! Poor Irma doesn't know the danger she's in."

Vernon "Poor Irma? How about poor him?"

Thompson "Irma, tell that goon to put you down. You're supposed to be working."

Irma "Forget it, Mr. Thompson. I just quit."

Shredder "Now how do I get out of here?"

Leonardo "Ha ha ha! Richelieu! We meet at last."

Shredder "It's a turtle."

Leonardo "Fear not, beautiful maiden. I will rescue you."

Donatello "Irma? Beautiful?"

Raphael "The poor guy got conked harder than we thought."

Leonardo "Unhand her, you-- you varmint!"

Shredder "As you wish."

[Shredder drops Irma onto the platform that he’s climbed.]

Irma "I cannot believe it. Dueling over me?"

Shredder "You're through, turtle."

Turtles "Oh, my gosh! Oh!"

Donatello "Hang on, D'Artagnan."

Michelangelo "Dudes, I hope that vine's got some serious roots."

Shredder "You've interfered for the last time, turtle."

Donatello "Excuse us. Coming through. Hang on, D'Artagnan. Pardon me."

Shredder "Au revoir, shellback."

Irma "Boys, boys, I know you're jealous, but fighting over me isn't the answer."

Leonardo "Not so fast, Richelieu."

Shredder "Stop calling me Richelieu. And stop jumping around!"

April "I've got to get to the top of that float."

Bebop "Come on. We're missing all the fun."

Leonardo "Ooh, you'll rue this day, varmint."

Irma "What is this strange effect I have on men? And how can I make it last?"

April "Irma, I'm here to save you!"

Irma "Save? Who wants to be saved?"

Leonardo "Rochefort, de Winter-- my old foes!"

Bebop "Who's he talking to?"

Rocksteady "You got me. I think this turtle's gotten soft in the shell."

Bebop "Could be, but he got us again!"

Shredder "I've wasted enough time."

Irma "Hey, not so rough, macho man."

Shredder "You're coming with me."

Irma "Listen, this is no way to take me home to meet your mother."

[Shredder throws Irma over his shoulder and then climbs the rope ladder up to the helicopter that April is piloting.]

April "What are you doing?"

Shredder "Thanks for providing my escape."

Raphael "Shredder's getting away."

Donatello "Hey! That draft!"

Rocksteady "Wait for us, boss."

Parade Crowd "Whoa! Yay! Yay! Hooray! Hooray!"

Michelangelo "Well, dudes, we finally get some respect, and they think it's a show."

Shredder "Take the prisoners downstairs."

April "Put us down, you creeps."

Bebop "Sure thing."

Irma "Now, look, this is no way to start a romance."

Shredder "A romance? With you? Ha ha ha! I just want that jewel you're wearing."

Irma "Well, if that's how you feel, it's all over between us."

Shredder "Congratulations, Miss O'Neil. Channel 6 will have exclusive coverage of the first speech given by Earth's new ruler, namely--me!"

[Shredder places the gem into the force field generator. Meanwhile, the turtles have returned to the lair. Leonardo is still in costume and he’s pacing.]

Donatello "We let Shredder nab April and Irma right out from under our noses."

Michelangelo "Mondo bummer, dudes."

Leonardo "Do not lose heart, mon ami. We are still the musketurtles!"

Raphael "Leonardo, will you get real? We're not musketurtles, and you're not some guy called D'Artagnan."

Leonardo "Oh, but you are wrong, and I'll prove it when I find the queen.
[The television comes on and Leonardo’s accent slips for a second.]

Look, there's April at the station. April? What am I saying? I mean, her Majesty the Queen.
"

Splinter "You said April. Your memory is returning."

Leonardo "I--I don't know what you're talking about. I am a musketurtle, and if you won't help me, I'll go alone."

Michelangelo "Oh, no. Not again."

Splinter "Remember, you cannot tell him the truth. He must discover it for himself."

Shredder "All right. Begin rehearsal, Miss O'Neil."

April "And now, introducing the new ruler of the entire world, Emperor Shredder."

Shredder "Then I'll say, ‘greetings, my subjugated subjects’."

[There’s a sudden rumbling and a transport module drills up through the floor. It opens to reveal Krang and Foot soldiers.]

Shredder "What?"

Krang "Seize that traitor!"

Shredder "I can explain, Krang. I, uh, um, I wanted to save you the trouble of lugging the generator all the way back here."

Krang "How very thoughtful. Perhaps I'll save you the trouble of growing old. I heard your rehearsal. I have one note. Cast change! I will be the ruler of the world. Here's how it will go. People of the Earth, the new Emperor of the world is me. Resistance is useless. No weapon can harm me. Observe. You two attack me. That's an order!"

Rocksteady "Ooh, and you said this job didn't have any fringe benefits."

Bebop "Me first. Wha—"

Krang "I didn't feel a thing."

Rocksteady "Now it's my turn."

Krang "Nothing can stop me. I am invincible. I believe I've made my point. It's time to put on my good suit. Hurry up with that android. I'm anxious to start my reign of terror."

[Leonardo swings out of the rafters and snatches the gem out of the generator.]

Leonardo "Ha ha! There will be no reign of terror while D'Artagnan lives. Here is your diamond, your highness."

Krang "Get that Impervium gem!"

April "Leonardo, look out!"

[Rocksteady shoots the gem out of Leonardo’s hand. Leonardo falls and Shredder catches the gem.]

Shredder "Thank you. You won't be needing this any longer, ex-Emperor."

Krang "No! No! It's mine."

Michelangelo "Whoa-ho! The three musketurtles are here, you scurvy scoundrels. Oh, I feel so corny talking like that."

Leonardo "Ooh. Hey, why are you guys wearing those costumes?"

Donatello "You made us put them on, D'Artagnan."

Leonardo "Who's D'Artagnan? I'm Leonardo. Are you guys feeling all right?"

Raphael "We are now."

Michelangelo "Tubuloso. He's cured."

Leonardo "Let's show them what a turtle can do."

Shredder "Too late, reptiles. Now the force field will make me invincible.
[He activates the force field, but since it’s set for Krang’s size, Shredder is folded up into a very small space.]

Help! Get me out of here!
"

Krang "You idiot! The force field was set for my size, not yours."

Shredder "I know, and I'm all bent out of shape over it."

Leonardo "You'll hate this idea, Shredder, but you're about to protect me."

Rocksteady "Hey, this ain't fair."

Krang "Retreat, you morons, retreat!"

Shredder "Hey, don't leave me!"

Krang "Your only way out of here is to shut off the force field."

Shredder "Once again, I have the last laugh."

Donatello "Take another guess, tin-grin."

Shredder "Yahh!"

[Donatello throws his bō, tripping Shredder, who loses the gem. Foot soldiers grab Shredder’s legs and drag him into the transport module. It leaves.]

Donatello "Somebody grab the gem!"

Raphael "Too late. It's down the drain."

April "Along with Shredder and Krang's plan to rule the world."

[Back to the lair, where the turtles are watching April’s follow-up broadcast.]

April "Personally, I doubt we'll ever have another Mardi Gras with as much excitement as today's."

Michelangelo "Yeah. Which suits my agenda just fine."

Leonardo "But we lost the Impervium gem! All that fighting, and all for nothing."

Splinter "No, Leonardo. It is all for one . . ."

All "And one for all! Ha ha ha!"

[End Credits]

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