Bebop and Rocksteady Conquer the Universe/Transcript

[Opening sequence and theme song.]

[Episode begins inside the turtles’ lair, with Donatello working on the turtlecoms.]

Donatello "There. That oughta do it."

[A radio program broadcasts through the turtlecom.]

Radio Host "Are you trying to tell me that the aliens from these UFO's aren't in contact with the squirrels?"

Caller "No man, they, like, want to raise our consciousness."

Radio Host "You fool! The squirrels are going to take over the world! They're using thought control!"

Leonardo "At least the other communicators are working. Right, Donatello?"

Donatello "Uh, not really."

Radio Host "The squirrels have infiltrated the government. It's a conspiracy to steal all the Earth's walnuts!"

Raphael "Terrific! If we get the urge to talk to a complete whacko, we've got a direct pipeline."

Leonardo "What if April were to get in trouble? She wouldn't be able to contact us."

Michelangelo "Yeah, or our little amigo, Zach."

Donatello "I'll have to keep working."

Michelangelo "Poor little Zach. Now I'm really worried about him."

Raphael "It's okay, Michelangelo, Zach's a tough kid. He can look after himself."

[Meanwhile, Zach is dealing with bullies on a playground.]

Bully "Beat it, or I'll take away your teddy bear, you big baby!"

Zach "Well, if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were here, you wouldn't talk to me that way!"

Bully "The big baby knows the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

Zach "I do, too, know them! They're my best friends."

Bully "You little liar! Get out of here before you lose some baby teeth."

[The Bully catches Zach by the straps on his backpack and tosses him out of the playground. Zach runs away from the bullies.]

Zach "Oh, I wish I could call the turtles and have them show those bullies.

[He takes out his turtlecom.]

Naw, they told me only to use my turtlecom if it's an emergency. The life of a kid is not an easy one.

[He hears an odd sound and sees a blue light coming from and alley.]

What's that?

[He peeks around the corner and sees a trans-dimensional portal open.]

Bebop and Rocksteady!"

[The pair have landed in a dumpster. They walk out to the street and Bebop makes a call on his comlink.]

Bebop "We're here, boss. What next?"

[Shredder speaks to them from the Technodrome, inside Dimension X.]

Shredder "Get over to Unbridled Technologies and steal that anxietron ray!"

Krang "And be quick about it! We can't wait around all day to rule the world."

Rocksteady "Gee, the boss sure has been pushing us around a lot lately."

Bebop "Yeah, this is definitely a high-stress job."

Zach "I got to contact the turtles.

[He opens his turtlecom but only gets static.]

Oh, what's the matter with this thing? They're getting away! I better follow them and see what they're up to."

[Cut to the UT building. Inside, a scientist is hard at work. An elevator opens to admit Bebop and Rocksteady, both wearing lab coats. Rocksteady is pushing a covered cart.]

Bebop "Dr. L’Estrange, these are for you."

Dr. L’Estrange "I didn't order anything."

Rocksteady "Oh, but I'm sure you'll be very interested in this!"

[He pulls the cover off the cart to reveal two stun lasers. Dr. L’Estrange gasps and lifts his hands in the air. Bebop walks over to a device sitting on a table.]

Bebop "Uh, is this the anxietron ray thing?"

Dr. L’Estrange "See here! That invention of mine is totally classified. You can't—

[Bebop shoots him with the ray. The doc falls to the ground, his attitude changing immediately.]

Take it! P--Please, it's all yours! Please! Ohh."

[No longer disguised, Bebop and Rocksteady exit the building. Rocksteady is holding the anxietron ray.]

Rocksteady "This is great. A ray that makes people scared. Let me try it."

[They approach a big, muscular man who is seated on a bench and holding some cotton candy.]

Cotton Candy Man "What do you want?"

Rocksteady "Your cotton candy."

Cotton Candy Man "Oh, yah? Well you can—

[Doubles his fist but is then hit by the ray.]

Have it with my compliments."

[He hands over the candy and then slides under the bench.]

Bebop "Boy, with this thing, everyone will be scared of us."

Rocksteady "Dare I say it? We could rule the world!"

[His comlink beeps.]

Shredder "Have you two idiots found that ray yet? Well, answer me, you pea-brain pin heads!"

Rocksteady "Not if you're gonna be so nasty about it."

Shredder "I'll talk to you any way I like!"

Rocksteady "You ain't gonna do nothing! We're the ones giving orders from now on."

Shredder "This is treason! Open the portal, Krang! I'll deal with them personally!"

[A portal opens directly in front of Bebop and Rocksteady. Before Shredder can step out, Rocksteady shoots the ray through the portal.]

Rocksteady "That's what you think."

[Still inside the Technodrome, both Shredder and Krang are hit by the ray.]

Shredder "I can't go through. I'm too scared.

[He glances back to where three Foot soldiers are standing. They appear to change in monsters.]

Look out! Evil Foot soldiers!"

[He and Krang duck behind a machine.]

Krang "No, no, no, they're on our side."

Shredder "Oh, yeah? Then why are you hiding here, too?"

Krang "Those punks must have used the anxietron ray on us."

Shredder "Is there some way to undo its effects?"

Krang "Who knows? I'm too scared to think."

[Bebop and Rocksteady walk down a sidewalk in broad daylight. Zach continues to follow and spy on them.]

Rocksteady "With this anxietron gizmo, we can take just about anything we want."

Bebop "Ooh, I know, let's take over this whole stinking town."

[Zach attempts to use his turtlecom.]

Zach "Guys! Come in! Can you hear me?

[He only gets static.]

I'm gonna have to find the turtles myself."

[He ties on his green mask.]

Bebop "Ooh, City Hall."

Rocksteady "If we're gonna run this city, this is the place to start."

[A meeting is taking place in a chamber room.]

Mayor "Gentlemen of the council, as your mayor, I advise you to—

[The mutants crash through the door and hit him with the ray.]

Yike! Head for the hills!"

[Rocksteady turns the ray on the council members. At the lair, Donatello continues trying to repair the turtlecoms.]

Raphael "Can you hurry it up any, Donatello?"

Michelangelo "Yeah, I want to go sneak a peek at the new Gorgonzola movie they're filming."

Donatello "They're shooting a Gorgonzola picture here in town?"

Michelangelo "Yeah, dude! They've got a hundred-foot-high model of him and everything! I just got to see it! Gorgonzola is my hero."

Donatello "Oh, finally. They're all working."

Leonardo "I only hope nothing's happened to our friends up in the city."

Donatello "Don't be silly, Leonardo. What could happen in two little hours?"

[His turtlecom beeps.]

Zach "Guys, it's me, Zach! Something awful has happened."

Raphael "Does that answer your question?"

Zach "Bebop and Rocksteady are gonna take over city hall. I just heard them say it."

Donatello "Don't worry, Zach. We'll handle those two jerks."

Michelangelo "Come on, dudes. Let's get the lead out."

[Meanwhile, April is in the Channel 6 news van, in the garage of the Channel 6 news building. Vernon is standing next to the driver’s side door, trying to stop her.]

Vernon "Just where do you think you're going?"

April O’Neil "There's been a big robbery at Unbridled Technologies. I've gotta go cover it."

Vernon "Oh, no, you don't. Burne wants you to cover the filming of the new Gorgonzola movie."

April "The what?"

Vernon "You know, Gorgonzola, big green lizard, likes to eat Tokyo?"

April "I've never heard of him."

Vernon "Boy, are you a cultural illiterate."

April "Great.

[Starts the van.]

The biggest story in months and I've gotta miss it to cover a big rubber lizard."

[The turtles enter the city hall building, weapons drawn.]

Donatello "For city hall, this place sure is quiet."

[They hear whimpering and see people hiding behind a reception desk.]

Michelangelo "Why are all these dudes and dudettes so scared?"

Raphael "They must have had a good look at Bebop and Rocksteady."

Donatello "Heads up, guys. Those two could be anywhere."

[A door bursts open and Bebop and Rocksteady arrive.]

Rocksteady "Surprise!"

[He shoots the turtles with the anxietron.]

Raphael "Now I know why I hate surprise parties."

Rocksteady "Now we've got you, turtles."

Michelangelo "Come on, dudes, let's get out of here!"

Raphael "Hurry, they're gonna get us!"

[They run away through a door and slam it behind them.]

Bebop "Hey, come back here, you turtles!"

[The turtles find themselves in an office full of desks.]

Donatello "Oh, we gotta get out of here."

Leonardo "No, this isn't like us. Let's get those...

[gulp]

turkeys.

[The mutant pair burst into the room.]

On second thought, let's run away!"

[They run down a hallway to an elevator that’s out of order. The turtles leap into the elevator shaft and slide down the cables.]

Michelangelo "Cowabunga!"

[They reach the basement and head for opening into the sewer tunnels.]

Leonardo "Quick, into the sewers before they spot us!"

[Bebop and Rocksteady stand at the elevator shaft, looking down.]

Bebop "Aw, crumbs! They got away."

Rocksteady "Yeah, but too scared to give us any more trouble."

[The pair locate the office of the mayor.]

Bebop "The mayor's office."

[They kick open the doors.]

Rocksteady "He ain't mayor no more. We are.

[The mayor and his assistant hide behind the desk. Rocksteady hops onto the desk.]

Ahem! I now proclaim us maximum leaders of this dumb, old city."

[Inside the Technodrome, Shredder and Krang cower on the floor.]

Shredder "I'm so scared, I can barely move."

Krang "The ray might have left residual particles in the air. Perhaps the computer could analyze them and find an antidote. There's just one problem."

Shredder "What's that?"

Krang "I'm afraid to touch the computer."

[Zach has arrived at the lair and is greeted by Master Splinter.]

Splinter "Make yourself comfortable, my young friend. No doubt the turtles will be back soon."

Zach "I'm worried about ‘em. Bebop and Rocksteady had this weird ray. It seemed to make people act funny."

Splinter "I'm sure the turtles can take care of themselves."

[The turtles arrive and run right past the pair.]

Donatello "Don't mind us!"

Raphael "We have to go hide now."

[Topside, the movie crew is setting up.]

Movie Director "Okay, people, this is gonna be the greatest Gorgonzola picture, yet. We're throwing out the script, right?

[April follows him with her camera.]

We're making the whole thing up as we go along, and we've got this fabulous Gorgonzola robot. It's operated by remote control from this panel. All right, people, people, it's a take."

[Operators work the remote control panel to bring the Gorgonzola robot to life.]

Movie Director "Okay, big guy, give me anger.

[The robot roars.]

Beautiful. No, really, I felt that one, I did."

[Inside the mayor’s office, Bebop and Rocksteady proceed to make new laws. Their captive audience are the mayor and his assistant. The Gorgonzola robot can be seen through the windows.]

Bebop "Uh, from now on, every day’s a holiday."

Rocksteady "Except Sunday. On Sunday everybody has to work. Hmm, as maximum leaders, what other proclamations can we make?"

Bebop "Hey, look."

[They peer through the window.]

Rocksteady "I don't believe it. It's Gorgonzola!"

Bebop "What's he doing here?"

Rocksteady "He must be trying to take over our city. Come on, let's give him a shot of this."

[He grabs the anxietron and both leave the office. Back at the lair, Splinter tries to cure Leonardo.]

Splinter "By the power of my will, you will fear nothing, my son."

Leonardo "Okay, now can I go back to hiding under the bed?"

[He darts under the bed where the other turtles are hiding.]

Splinter "This ray seems to have sapped all their courage. Not even my ninjitsu mind control can help."

Zach "Isn't there something that can undo it?"

Splinter "Perhaps the ray device itself has the means to reverse its effects? I'm going to have to get that device. And you, Zach, will have to help me."

Zach "You can count on me, Master Splinter. After all, they don't call me the fifth turtle for nothing!"

Raphael "We'll be here, if you need us."

[In the Technodrome, Krang has finally approached the computer.]

Shredder "Hurry, Krang, the computer must find an antidote for that ray, before I shake my costume to pieces.

[Krang presses a button and then backs up.]

What's the matter? It's just computing."

Krang "What if all the bolts came loose and it fell on us?"

Shredder "Yeah, right. Good thinking."

[He ducks behind Krang. At city hall, Splinter and Zach pry an air vent cover off and look around inside.]

Zach "There's no sign of those two creeps anywhere."

Splinter "But they certainly were here.

[They hop down into the mayor’s office. The mayor and his assistant cower against the wall.]

Please, we mean you no harm. Those two mutants—"

Mayor "They--they left."

Splinter "We must find them before they use that device on the entire city."

[Meanwhile in the lair, the turtles are still hiding under the bed.]

Donatello "Aghhh!"

Michelangelo "What's the matter?"

Donatello "You scared me."

Michelangelo "Dudes, I hate being this scared."

Leonardo "I hope Splinter and Zach get back with help soon."

Raphael "And I hope they don't knock too loud. My nerves couldn't take it."

[On the movie set, April decides to call it a day.]

April "May as well pack it in. Nothing else is going to happen here.

[The news van explodes.]

Aah!"

Rocksteady "Okay, Gorgonzola, we'll show you who's the boss of this town!"

[He shoots the ray at the robot, but it keeps coming towards them.]

Bebop "Hey, it ain't working."

Rocksteady "Gorgonzola's super-thick scaly skin must make him invulner-a-bubble to the ray."

Movie Director "Excuse me. Hello. You two? What are you trying to do to my robot? Oh, my. Interesting faces. I wonder if I can get them for my next picture?"

Rocksteady "No wonder this gizmo don't work on Gorgonzola. He's a robot."

Bebop "Oh, a robot. Let's play with it."

[Rocksteady zaps the director with the ray.]

Movie Director "Okay, that's a wr--wrap. Everybody run and hide!"

[Rocksteady zaps the two men at the control panel and they scream and run. Bebop and Rocksteady start playing with the controls.]

Bebop "Oh boy, is this fun or what?"

April "You guys won't get away with this!"

Rocksteady "We'll get away with anything we want, April O'Neil. Watch this."

[He manipulates the controls and makes the robot pick April up by her shirt collar.]

April "Aah! Aah! I have no desire to become a monster's munchie!

[The robot roars and opens its mouth.]

Oh, no! Not this!

[It tosses her into its mouth. April slides down a chute.]

Aah! Oh! Aah!

[She grabs onto a metal bar.]

This isn't how I planned to spend my afternoon."

Rocksteady "Come on, big fella, go, go!

[He snaps off one of the levers.]

The controls don't work no more."

[The robot begins smashing buildings.]

Bebop "Aw, come on, let's find something else to play with."

[Donatello’s turtlecom beeps.]

Michelangelo "Don't answer it! It might be bad news."

April "Hey, guys, it's April."

Donatello "Wh--where are you?"

April "You're not gonna believe this. I'm inside that big Gorgonzola robot. Bebop and Rocksteady are here. They've taken over its controls!"

Donatello "We'll, uh, we'll contact Splinter a...and tell him to help you."

April "Splinter? Why can't you guys come?"

Donatello "Uh, it's a long story."

[On the streets, a couple draw near Zach and Splinter. Zach ducks under a sidewalk sign to help Splinter hide from sight.]

Zach "Under here, Master Splinter."

Splinter "You are a very resourceful young man, Zach. You have all the makings of an excellent turtle."

Zach "Really? Oh, that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said about me.

[Zach’s turtlecom beeps.]

Honorary turtle Zach here."

Donatello "Oh, Zach, listen, that big Gorgonzola robot's got April. Bebop and Rocksteady are running it."

Zach "We're on our way! Come on, Sensei!"

Leonardo "We can't just hide under the bed when our friends need us. What are we, mice or Turtles?"

Raphael "Show me a piece of cheese and you'll find out."

Leonardo "All this fear is just in our heads. Come on, we've got to help them."

[They crawl out from under the bed. In the Technodrome, Krang examines a computer printout.]

Krang "According to the computer, a bombardment of neutrons from the generator downstairs will counteract the ray's effects."

Shredder "It sounds scary."

Krang "There's nothing to be afraid of! You go first."

Shredder "No, you go."

Krang "No, you go."

[Bebop and Rocksteady walk through the city streets.]

Bebop "Uh, what do we do now?"

[Zach and Splinter peer at them from around a corner.]

Splinter "Wait here, Zach."

Rocksteady "There's nothing over there but train tracks.

[Splinter attempts to grab the anxietron from his belt.]

Hey!

[He grabs Splinter.]

Well, well. What have we here?"

[Bebop ties Splinter up.]

Bebop "Now that we've got this oversized rat, let's blast him with the ray!"

Rocksteady "Ooh, ooh, I know. Let's tie him to the railroad tracks."

Bebop "Oh, that's the oldest trick in the book."

Rocksteady "Yeah, but it's so dramatic."

[They carry Splinter away. Zach calls the turtles on his turtlecom.]

Zach "Guys, Bebop and Rocksteady got Master Splinter! They're taking him to the railroad tracks!"

Leonardo "Hang on, Zach. We're on our way."

[The turtles are in the turtle van.]

Raphael "Slowly but surely."

Michelangelo "I'm too scared to drive any faster."

Leonardo "Zach, get away from there before they see you."

Zach "No way! I'm a fifth turtle, and fifth turtles never give up! Besides, I gotta get that ray. It's the only way to help the guys."

Raphael "Put on some speed, Michelangelo.

[The van stops.]

That isn't exactly what I had in mind."

Michelangelo "Look!"

[Behind buildings in front of them is the giant robot. It’s rampaging.]

Donatello "It's Gorgonzola."

Leonardo "It's just a robot."

Raphael "But it's got April."

Leonardo "We've gotta help Splinter first. He's in worse danger. Hit it, Michelangelo."

[The van starts crawling along.]

Donatello "Hey, not so fast."

[Rocksteady ties Splinter to a train track.]

Bebop "Now to find a train."

[The run off and Zach reaches Splinter. He tries pulling on the rope.]

Zach "I can't cut these ropes."

Splinter "Flee this place, Zach. Save yourself."

Zach "No way. I'm gonna get that ray gun away from ‘em."

[Krang and Shredder stand on a podium under the generator. A Foot soldier mans the controls.]

Shredder "Oh, I can’t go through with this. It's too terrifying.

[The machine is activated and they are zapped.]

Aah!"

Krang "Aah! I feel much better."

Shredder "Uhh! Now to make those two zipperheads suffer for defying me."

[Bebop and Rocksteady enter the locomotive. Zach is spying on them.]

Rocksteady "All we gotta do is start it up and let her rip."

[Zach sneaks up and snatches the anxietron off of Rocksteady’s belt. Bebop starts the train engine and it begins to roll.]

Rocksteady "Don't forget to fix the brake.

[Bebop grabs the brake handle and snaps it off.]

Now all we gotta do is--

[He gasps.]

The gizmo!"

[The two mutants leap off of the moving train and then spot Zach running away.]

Rocksteady "That kid's got it!"

[They start firing their stun laser at him.]

Zach "Turtle power!"

Rocksteady "Blast the little creep!"

[Zach is running up a hill. A blast hits the rocks and they go out from under him. He starts to fall.]

Zach "Aah!"

[Michelangelo tosses his turtle line around a tree branch and swings down to grab Zach.]

Michelangelo "Gotcha, dude!"

[They swing onto a tree branch.]

Zach "Michelangelo! You had the courage to swing all the way up here?"

Michelangelo "Yeah, but I don't think I have the courage to swing down."

Zach "But Bebop and Rocksteady are heading this way."

Michelangelo "Bebop and Rocksteady?

[They slide down the rope.]

Cowabunga!"

[The other turtles join them. Zach begins turning a dial on the anxietron.]

Donatello "Plus ten, minus ten. That oughta do it."

Zach "Hang on, guys."

Michelangelo "But, like, what if it doesn't work?"

[Zach begins zapping them.]

Donatello "We'll know in a moment."

Raphael "Whoa-ho-ho!"

Rocksteady "There they are!"

Leonardo "No, no! Don't hurt us!"

Bebop "Now we got you, you lily-livered turtles."

[They lift up Donatello and Raphael.]

Raphael "Surprise, big boy!"

[He uses a sai to knock the stun laser out of Bebop’s hands.]

Bebop "Hey!"

[Donatello grabs Rocksteady and tosses him against a tree trunk.]

Rocksteady "Aah!"

[Rocksteady lifts his stun laser, but Leonardo jumps down and slices it with his katana. Rocksteady tries to punch him, but Leonardo leaps aside.]

Rocksteady "Why, you—"

Zach "Get 'em, dudes!"

[Bebop tries to punch Raphael, but he ducks. Michelangelo swings over on his turtle line, grabs Bebop, and tosses him.]

Michelangelo "Right on, amigo!"

Donatello "Hey, look."

[A portal opens and Shredder steps out.]

Shredder "You insolent idiots! How dare you take over the world without my permission!"

[He grabs Bebop and Rocksteady and carries them back through the portal.]

Both "Ow! Ow!"

Leonardo "Come on. We've gotta stop 'em."

Zach "Wait! That train's heading for Master Splinter."

[He points down the hill to the tracks. In the distance, the robot is still rampaging.]

Michelangelo "And April's still inside Gorgonzola."

[The turtles and Zach jump into the turtle van.]

Raphael "Step on it, Michelangelo."

[The van races down the hill and pulls alongside the fast moving train.]

Leonardo "Donatello, you stop the train. We'll head on to help April."

[Donatello jumps out of the van and into the locomotive.]

Donatello "Okay, how does this thing work?"

[Leonardo calls April on the turtlecom.]

Leonardo "How are you doing, April?"

April "Get me out of here! How come you guys always have to wait until the last minute to rescue me?"

Leonardo "Okay, okay. Don't have a fit."

[The van comes to a screeching stop near the robot. The turtles and Zach exit to run towards it.]

Raphael "Halt! You're under arrest!

[Gorgonzola stomps on a car and the group jump out of the way.]

Well, that worked like a charm."

[Leonardo pries a covering off of the robot’s heel. They look inside and see it’s filled with mechanical parts.]

Michelangelo "Dudes, we'll never make it through all that junk."

Zach "Let me do it, guys. I can handle it, honest."

Raphael "He's the smallest of us. He might have the easiest time getting up there."

Leonardo "Okay."

[He hands Zach a katana.]

Zach "Excellent!"

[Zach enters the robot. Splinter struggles against the ropes as the train bears down on him.]

Donatello "How the heck do you stop this thing?

[He tries several controls to no avail.]

Only one thing to do.

[He throws his bō at the railroad switch and moves the track point blades, making the train shift tracks. The train misses Splinter. Donatello uses his turtlecom to call the others.]

Hey, guys, can you lure that robot onto the train tracks?"

Leonardo "We'll work on it. Hurry, Zach!"

[Zach has reached April.]

April "I thought the turtles were going to rescue me."

[He starts slicing at robotic parts.]

Zach "I am a turtle!"

April "Funny, he doesn't look it."

[The three turtles run onto the tracks and begin shouting and waving at the robot.]

Turtles "Over here! Come on! Yoohoo!"

[Donatello leaps out of the locomotive.]

Leonardo "Hurry, Zach!"

April "Careful with that thing!"

Zach "Don't worry, Miss O'Neil. I know what I'm doing."

[He slices her free and both fall out of the robot.]

Both "Aah! Aah!"

Raphael "We have to go now. Oh, brother!"

[They run as the robot prepares to stomp them. The train crashes into the robot, smashing it to pieces. Everything explodes.]

Michelangelo "If it was that easy to destroy Gorgonzola in the movies, they'd never have any sequels."

[The turtles, Splinter, and Zach watch April’s broadcast from the lair.]

April "And an official of the Fire Department used the anxietron ray to return everyone to normal.

[Shows an image of Zach.]

But the real hero is this young boy who single-handedly recovered the device and saved this reporter's life."

Leonardo "Those schoolyard bullies won't be giving you any more grief, Zach."

Splinter "You have proved yourself worthy of our honor, my young friend."

Michelangelo "Yeah, you really came through with flying colors, micro-dude. Green turtle colors."

Raphael "Yeah, and I'm glad we're not afraid of everything anymore.

[A mouse run over his foot.]

Aah!

[He jumps up and grabs an overhead pipe.]

Well, what are you looking at? Everybody gets a little tense now and then."

[End Credits]