All Hallows Thieves/Transcript

This is a transcript for All Hallows Thieves, the twelfth episode of season 4 of TMNT (2003 series).

VOICE-OVER INTRO

Halloween in New York City. [Scenes of children trick or treating.] One of my favorite times of the year. A day where no matter how odd, how freaky or scary you might be, you fit in with everybody else. [Kids: Trick or treat!] A day when girls and boys all over the city dress as their favorite monsters and heroes and get free candy. A day when even a teenage mutant ninja turtle can walk around out in the open. Of course, some Halloweens are filled with more tricks than treats. [Flying creatures menace the children and flood the skies. The turtles run out of a hotel onto the sidewalk.] Maybe this year we shoulda stayed home and rented scary movies.

{Opening sequence; title song}

	The episode begins at April’s shop “2nd Time Around”. Inside, a man browses the shop and April stands near her cash register.
April O'Neil	Looking for anything special today?
King of Thieves	Actually yes, my dear. I am very interested in that statue behind you. Very interested.
April	I’m glad someone is. [She takes down the six armed statue and sets it on the counter.] I guess I shouldn’t say that. Quite the saleswoman, aren’t I? Truth is, it’s been sitting here awhile.
King	Yes, well sometimes it takes a keen eye to appreciate a thing of such uncommon beauty. Oh, um, but I fear I left my wallet at the hotel. Please, can you hold it for me?
April	Sure.
King	Thank you, for I must be the one to posses it. [He starts to leave and the alarm goes off.] Ah! What is that? What the...?
April	Oh, sorry. Sorry about that. [She turns off the alarm.] The alarm keeps going off for no reason.
King	I bid adieu to you, madam. [He leaves and joins another man waiting at the curb.] Well, Hadji, after many years of searching I can hardly believe I finally found the idol.
Hadji	So, what’s our plan, boss?
King	Timing is very important, Hadji. Today is Halloween, the day the Earth is closest to the spirit world. [He runs into a man.] Oop!
Man	Ow!
King	Pardon me, good sir.
	He dips his hand into the man’s pocket. When the man walks away, King is shown holding the man’s wallet behind his back. He taps on the wallet to show Hadji what he’s done.
Hadji	You are masterful, boss. Will we use that money to buy the idol?
King	Of course not, my dim companion. It must be stolen. For am I not the King of Thieves? Come Hadji, we must find some local talent to help us with our little scheme. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
	Night has fallen. Inside April’s apartment, above the shop, the turtles are carving pumpkins. Michelangelo uses a kunai on his, while Donatello uses a laser pen to carve his pumpkin. Raphael utilizes his sai, and Leonardo holds his two swords as he addresses the pumpkin. April walks out of her bedroom wearing a cat costume.
April	Well, guys, what do you think?
Raphael	Wow.
Michelangelo	Cool.
Donatello	Looking good.
Michelangelo	Man, I just love Halloween. It’s the one day where a turtle can walk around and just be a turtle.
	There’s a knock on the door. April opens it to Casey, who is not wearing a costume.
April	Hi, Casey.
Casey	Oh, I’m digging the Halloween duds, April.
April	Casey, I thought we were both gonna wear costumes to the party.
Michelangelo	That is his costume.
Raphael	Every day is Halloween for Casey Jones.
	They both start laughing.
Casey	Very funny, coming from a couple of green guys who wear masks every day of the year. Come on, April, let’s go.
April	Happy Halloween, guys.
	They leave. Michelangelo places a blue mask around the ‘eyes’ of his pumpkin.
Michelangelo	Check it out. A Leo-O-Lantern.
Raphael	Ha, you got his charming smile down right.
	The shop alarm starts going off.
Leonardo	Don, I thought you fixed the alarm in April’s shop.
Raphael	Yeah, he fixed it too good. Now it goes off all the time.
Donatello	April and Casey probably set it off by accident. Mikey, come on, it’s your turn.
Michelangelo	All right, keep your shell on. I’m going, but later, I get first dibs on bobbing for apples.
	He leaps onto the staircase railing and slides down into the shop.
Michelangelo	Whoo, hoo! Het, ha, ha! Huh?
	Inside the darkened shop he sees someone dressed in a witch’s costume, another with a jack-o-lantern for a head, and another dressed as a wolfman. The wolfman is armed with a bat.
Michelangelo	Aah! Aren’t you guys a little old for trick or treat? [The wolfman attacks with his bat and Michelangelo disarms him.] Tsk, tsk. Certainly aren’t pros.
	He begins showing off as he spins the bat, making martial arts noises and posing in different positions. The thieves run at him. Michelangelo tosses the bat into the pumpkin man’s stomach, knocking him down. The witch attacks with a lamp, but Michelangelo kicks him down.
Michelangelo	Clumsy and untrained. And I give you a ‘D’ on your Halloween costumes.
	He starts showing off again. The pumpkin picks up the bat and throws it at a bike hanging from the ceiling, knocking it down. It lands on Michelangelo’s head. The turtles upstairs hear the noise.
Leonardo	Michelangelo, are you all right?
	Slumped on the floor, Michelangelo rubs his head as the witch jumps onto the counter behind him and grabs the statue. The other turtles run downstairs in time to see two of the thieves run out the door. The third, wolfman, is groaning in pain and trying to stand. Leonardo walks towards him as Donatello and Raphael help Michelangelo stand up.
Raphael	You okay, Mikey?
Michelangelo	Yeah, never better. I think they grabbed something, then, they got away.
Leonardo	Not all of them. [He grabs wolfman by the shirt front and jerks him to his feet.] What are you after?
Wolfman:	Nothing, freak.
	Leonardo throws him against a display case and draws his swords. Leonardo begins slicing, shocking his brothers. The wolfman’s mask falls apart in multiple pieces. Leonardo sheaths his swords and grabs the man again.
Leonardo	I’ll ask you again; what are you after?
Wolfman	Six-armed statue. We’re supposed to grab it for this guy at the Blue Star Hotel. Fifth floor. That’s all I know, I swear.
Leonardo	Let’s move. Looks like we have some of April’s property to collect.
	At the Blue Star Hotel, the King and Hadji wait. There’s a knock at the door and it opens. The witch and pumpkin thieves enter. They remove their masks, showing faces covered in welts and bruises.
King	What happened to you?
Witch	Some kind of security guard or something in a frog costume. [He reaches into his hat a pulls out the statue.] But we got your statue.
King	Excellent. [He takes the statue.] Excellent. The thieving got idol. I have waited years for this moment, to finally fulfill my destiny as the direct descendent of the King of Thieves.
	The turtles walk down the street, looking for the hotel. Everywhere are children dressed in costumes.
Donatello	It doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone just steal a statue from April’s shop and nothing else?
Leonardo	What doesn’t make any sense is why we stopped for caramel apples.
	Michelangelo and Raphael have a caramel apple in each hand.
Raphael	That one’s easy, Leo. ‘Cause it’s Halloween.
Michelangelo	Yeah. Do you think we have time for some trick or treating?
Leonardo	No. Try to focus. We can’t just let a bunch of thugs break into April’s and steal. We have to get that statue back.
	Two children walk past, one wearing a Silver Sentry costume.
SS Child	Yo, cool costume.
Michelangelo	Thanks. You too.
Raphael	Gotta love Halloween.
	Inside the hotel, the Turtles jog down a hallway, trying to remain quiet. Donatello stops at a door.
Donatello	This should be it.
	He knocks on the door and the Turtles stand ready. The door opens slowly. On the other side is a little old lady.
Little Old Lady	Oh, how cute. Say ‘trick or treat’.
All but Leonardo	Trick or treat!
	The lady places candy in each of their hands.
Michelangelo	Awesome! Choc-o-plenties! These are my favorite. We have to keep doing this.
Raphael	Remember when Master Splinter used to take us trick or treating?
Donatello	Definitely. It was the best day of the year. We’d get enough candy to last for months.
Raphael	All except for Mikey. He’d eat all his the next day and then get sick. [Imitates throwing up.] Bleh!
Leonardo	Guys, we’re in the middle of doing something here, remember? The statue?
Donatello	Right. Uh, sorry. Next door.
	He starts to knock on the door but Leonardo grabs his hand. Leonardo shakes his head and indicates himself with a wink. He kicks the door open, entering with swords in hand. They see the King of Thieves standing before the idol, chanting in an unknown language.
Hadji	Hey, boss. Boss.
	He pulls a dagger but Leonardo knocks it from his hand with a throwing star.
King	What kind of creatures are these?
Leonardo	Hand over the statue, it doesn’t belong to you.
King	I know, I took it. For you see, I am the King of Thieves.
Donatello	Oo~kay.
Michelangelo	More like the king of tacky bling.
	The King turns and begins chanting again. A red glowing light suffuses the statue and then a rift in space of black and red energy shoots from the statue and trails through an open window. Flying through the rift are dozens of winged gargoyle like creatures. They attack the turtles, overwhelming them through sheer numbers. While the Turtles battle, the King grabs the statue.
King	Quietly, Hadji, follow me. My army of little thieves will take care of these intruders.
	The pair exits the room, closing the door behind them. The gargoyles immediately block the door. Even more creatures flow through the energy band.
Leonardo	We need to get out of here.
	He leaps onto the bed and begins slicing the wall, then he punches a hole through it. The other turtles run to join him and all four break through the wall and into the hallway. They sit up and see a man carrying an ice bucket staring at them.
Leonardo	Sorry, cheap hotel.
Donatello	Uh, happy Halloween!
	They take off running and the man just stands there, still looking stunned. Outside, the rift opens wider and gargoyles fly through the streets, sending people running for cover.
King	Yes my little thieves, steal everything you can!
	The gargoyles break into stores and shops, stealing televisions, appliances, jewelry, even car radios. The turtles run out of the hotel and see the mayhem.
Donatello	Huh?
	The gargoyles lay their stolen goods at the King’s feet. Leonardo spots the pair.
Leonardo	There they are. Come on!
Hadji	Those creatures, they’re still following us, Boss.
King	Nothing to worry about, Hadji. The power of the idol is more than enough to deal with them.
	The pair run down the street and into an alley.
King	Come on, this way. [He sets the idol atop a dumpster.] I will summon the thievery god himself. [He chants.] Kleptonis, arise, Gargantium. Arise, Kleptonis. Arise, Kleptonis! Arise and save your loyal servant the King of Thieves! That’s good, Gargantium! Arise! Arise! Yes!
	The statue begins to grow to a tremendous size.
Raphael	Oh, man. I hate magic.
King	Arise! Arise!
Donatello	That’s April’s statue? You think she’d have been asking more money for it.
King	Magnificent. Mighty Kleptonis, protector of thieves, crush them!
	Kleptonis jumps down from the dumpster, its weight shaking the ground.
Michelangelo	Well, like they say, the freaks come out at night.
Raphael	Well I’m all for putting ‘em back to bed.
	The turtles attack Kleptonis, battling its size and six arms.
King	Hadji, let’s go.
Hadji	Right behind you, boss.
	They exit the alley and gargoyles immediately begin dropping stolen goods at the King’s feet.
King	Ah. [Two gargoyles leave goods and then look at the King.] What are you standing there for? Go steal something for me!
	In the alley, the turtles are taking a beating.
Michelangelo	How many arms does one monster need?
	Kleptonis traps them in a dead end.
Leonardo	He’s boxing us in. [He spots a fire escape.] We need more room to maneuver.
Raphael	Hey! Guys, follow my lead.
	Kleptonis charges and Raphael runs straight at him. He bounces off of the giant statue and onto the fire escape behind it. Kleptonis turns, growling as Raphael climbs. The other turtles mimic Raphael’s move and join him on the fire escape. Kleptonis grabs the ladder and starts shaking it.
Michelangelo	Whoa! Hey!
Leonardo	Go! Go!
	The turtles race up to the roof. Kleptonis follows by gouging hand holes into the side of a building. In the street, the gargoyles have built a huge pile of stolen goods.
King	Ha, ha, ha, ha! Excellent. Yes! More, bring me more! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
	Kleptonis reaches the roof, but doesn’t see the turtles. It breaks off four vent pipes and moves towards some sheds atop the roof. The turtles come out of hiding and attack, but Kleptonis knocks them out of the air with the pipes.
Michelangelo	Hey, ugly! [He throws a nunchuck, which hits the statue’s face and angers it further.] Oops.
	Kleptonis smacks him hard, sending him back against the building’s ledge. The shaken turtle sits unmoving as Kleptonis charges.
Donatello	Mikey, get up! Mikey!
	Just before Kleptonis can reach Michelangelo, Donatello throws his bō at the statue’s feet and trips it. Kleptonis falls right over Michelangelo’s head and plummets to the street below.
Donatello	Mikey, you okay?
	They look down and see a huge hole in the street that looks right down into the subway.
Raphael	Now there’s one pothole I wouldn’t want to hit on the shell cycle.
	The turtles come down to the street and then drop through the hole. They are atop the rubble.
Michelangelo	Yoo-hoo! Little boy blue!
	A subway train passes. Donatello begins probing the debris with his staff.
Raphael	Ya’ think a fall took care of him?
	Donatello continues tapping on the debris, failing to notice Kleptonis is under him. The statue’s eyes open.
Donatello	I don't know.
	The statue suddenly rises and Donatello leaps out of the way. Kleptonis is now missing an arm.
Leonardo	Look out!
Raphael	I’ll take that as a no.
Leonardo	We can do this. Fight in tandem. Move fast, get in, get out. Don’t let him grab you.
	They attack, dodging when Kleptonis tries to stomp them. Michelangelo kicks it in the chest, knocking it back against a support pillar. Leonardo spots the lights of an oncoming train.
Leonardo	Keep pushing it back!
	One by one, the turtles strike, shoving Kleptonis backwards until it’s teetering on the edge of the platform just above the train tracks. It sees the train and straightens. When Leonardo strikes with his swords, Kleptonis grabs them and shoves them into the ceiling, with Leonardo still clinging to the weapons. Raphael manages to lift the broken arm. Leonardo gets free, slicing with his swords as he falls and sheering off one of the statue’s legs. Raphael jumps up and crushes Kleptonis’ head with its own arm. Leonardo kicks the statue and it falls directly in front of the oncoming train, which demolishes Kleptonis. Raphael nearly falls on the train, but Leonardo grabs him and pulls him to safety.
Raphael	Subway train; one. Large ugly monster; zero.
	The statues’ remains vanish and the rift closes and disappears as well. The gargoyles all disappear too, dropping whatever stolen item they were carrying at the time.
King	No! No, impossible! I am the King of Thieves!
	Police officers approach from behind and grab the King and Hadji.
King	The King of Thieves I say!
Officer 1	An honor to make your acquaintance, your majesty.
Officer 2	Your chariot awaits, your lordship, sir.
Officer Sarge	Gremlins? Six armed monsters? I don’t know what to put in my report.
Officer Frank	Well all I know is we caught these two guys looting the block. That’s good enough for me. [He looks over at the turtles.] Thanks for all your help. Why don’t you kids run along and have fun with your trick or treating.
Raphael	Uh, okay.
Michelangelo	Candy, here I come!
Officer Sarge	Nice kids.
Officer Frank	Yeah. Strange costumes though.

{Roll end credits}