The Lampblack Wars was the first short story in the Short Trips anthology Short Trips: The History of Christmas. It was written by Matthew Sweet. It featured the Third Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith.

Summary[]

The Doctor and Sarah have landed in Victorian England. The Doctor plans to take Sarah to a show, though when he learns the date, he notes that entertainment "will soon be rather hard to come by".

Meanwhile, Mary Prout visits the a chophouse and orders some food. She tells the proprietor, Freddie, that her aunt made money from something that no one can do without — ink. She has a bottle of ink that radiates heat.

Sarah and the Doctor watch a pantomime. Unknown to them, Mary sits right behind the Doctor. Sarah looks at her programme, and notes that a drawing of a clown on the right side has come alive. It travels to the next page, where it kills another character's drawing.

The show over, many of the performers are relaxing backstage when word comes from their manager that Prince Albert has died.

Sarah and the Doctor visit Charles Goodall and Son, the printer responsible for the pantomime programmes. Goodall and his son explain that they are very busy but have plenty of ink. Mary enters the shop, bringing news of the Prince Consort's death as well as ink for the printing press.

One of the performers, Simia the Missing Link, has been attacked, but she is brought back to life by Anak. The Doctor and Sarah arrive, as does Mary, and the Doctor recognises Anak as a resident of the Rock Belt of Hextacosulous.

Anak tells his story. Mary stole the bottle of "ink" from him. It isn't actually ink, but rather the microbes of the survivors of two warring planets. Mary's possession of the "ink" has placed her in danger, and the only solution is for her to drink it. When she does so, a vivid tattoo appears on her back.

Later, Sarah is at the chophouse when the Doctor arrives with a newspaper dated tens days hence, advertising the performance of one "Maria Parota, the Living Panorama". They decide to stay a few more days to see Mary's performance.

Characters[]

• Third Doctor
• Sarah Jane Smith
• Mary Prout
• Freddie
• Simia the Missing Link
• Miss Hutchison the Pig-Faced Lady
• Bracebridge Hunz
• Gabriel East
• Anak
• Professor Hendale
• Charles Goodall
• Mr Goodall, Jr

Worldbuilding[]

• Albert is the Prince Consort of Queen Victoria.
• The Doctor calls Mary drinking the "ink" her Sydney Carton moment.
• The Doctor reads The Times.
• The two warring planets were Hextacosulous Blue and Hextacosulous Green.
• Freddie rolls cigarettes for Mary.
• The Goodalls' business is always busy since the repeal of the Paper Tax.

Notes[]

• This story was reprinted in Short Trips: Re:Collections.

Continuity[]

to be added

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Eight (and Nine) • UNIT Christmas Parties: Ships That Pass • Evergreen Seven Deadly Sins The Duke's Folly • That Which Went Away • Angel • Suitors, Inc. • The 57th • Telling Tales • Too Rich for My Blood • Seven Deadly Sins A Day in the Life After Midnight • Sold Out • Undercurrents • The Five O'Clock Shadow • The Sooner the Better • Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast • The Heroine, the Hero and the Megalomaniac • Waiting for Jeremy • A Life in the Day • Morphology • Making History • One Wednesday Afternoon • How You Get There • The Last Broadcast • The Terror of the Darkness • Visiting Hours • Before Midnight The Solar System Mercury • Venus • Earth • Mars • Jupiter • Saturn • Uranus • Neptune • Pluto • Sedna The History of Christmas The Lampblack Wars • Home Fires • The Feast • Rome • Set in Stone • The Thousand Years of Christmas • Presence • Danse Macabre • The Church of Saint Sebastian • The Prodigal Sun • Be Good for Goodness's Sake • Ode to Joy • Nobody's Gift • The Innocents • Comforts of Home • Christmas on the Moon • The Anchorite's Echo • The Revolutionaries • The Gift • Callahuanca • Not in My Back Yard • She Won't Be Home • Saint Nicholas's Bones • The Long Midwinter Farewells The Mother Road • Father Figure • The Bad Guy • Separation Day • The Very Last Picture Show • Into the Silent Land • Wake • The Velvet Dark • Life After Queth • Black and White • Curtain Call • Utopia • The Wickerwork Man • The Three Paths The Centenarian Prologue • Echoes • Direct Action • Dream Devils • Falling from Xi'an • Log 384 • The Church of Football • Incongruous Details • Ancient Whispers • First Born • Dear John • Checkpoint • Childhood Living • The Lost • Old Boys • Testament • Forgotten Time Signature An Overture Too Early • The Ruins of Time • Gone Fishing • The Avant Guardian • Second Contact • Resonance • Walkin' City Blues • The Hunting of the Slook • The Earwig Archipelago • DS Al Fine • Certificate of Destruction Dalek Empire Kalendorf • Natalie's Diary • Alby • Private Investigations • Suz • The Best Joke I Ever Told • Hide and Seek • The Eighth Wonder of the World • Mutually Assured Survival • Museum Peace Destination Prague Midnight in the Café of the Black Madonna • Room for Improvement • Life from Lifelessness • The Long Step Backward • Strange Attractor • Gold and Black Ooze • The Dogs of War • Sunday Afternoon, AD 848,988 • Nanomorphosis • Spoilsport • War in a Time of Peace • The End of Now • Suspension and Disbelief • Leap Second • Lady of the Snows • The Time Eater • Fable Fusion • Men of the Earth • Across Silent Seas • The Dragons of Prague • Omegamorphosis Snapshots Golem • Indian Summer • All of Beyond • The Eyes Have It • The Misadventure of Mark Thorne • Attachments • There's Something About Mary • My Hero • Plight of the Monkrah • Remain in Light • In Case of Emergencies • Puppeteer • Osskah • Piecemeal • The Report • You Had Me at Verify User Name and Password • She Knew • The Glarn Strategy • Salva Mea • The Sorrows of Vienna • Fanboys The Ghosts of Christmas Faithful Friends: Part One • But Once a Year • For the Man Who Has Everything • Tell Me You Love Me • The Cutty Wren • Do You Dream in Colour? 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