Pirate S.T.C.

Pirate S.T.C. was a surreal 6-part adventure in Sonic the Comic, starting with Issue 28. It was the only series not to be set on Mobius, to be based on a game, or to star Megadroid.

Staff[]

• Stephen Bliss - script and art
• Steve Potter - lettering

Story[]

Fezhead and Skull, two television pirates, are scanning the networks, looking for a group of couch potatoes. They seem to find a perfect set and Skull twice appears to them by interfering with the programme they're watching. When it's deemed that they're suitable, Skull sucks them into the TV.

Inside the television, the slobs verbally abuse Fezhead, until he orders them to be quiet. The team are introduced as Sackhead, Flame, Grrrr, Bob and a chicken called Dog. Pulling out a Mega Drive controller, Fezhead controls the 'players' as they sucked down pipes, split into two different groups. Grrrr, Bob and Dog end up in an area where touching cute woodland creature turns them into bubble bath containers, Granee 8 Ball's favourite drink. Meanwhile, Sackhead and Flame land in the middle of a tournament, where they are captured by some sort of viking with one arm and a wooden spoon in his mouth.

Granee drinks one of the containers, which results in her spitting out an 8-ball at a woodland creature, turning it into another container. Grrrr, Bob and Dog start catching further balls to save the creatures, then turn the remaining containers against Granee, squirting them at her feet so she slips into a giant egg. In the tournament, Sackhead and Flame are allowed to choose items with which they'll be allowed to fight with (Sackhead picks power blaster boots, a bag of chips and 'superlastic Y-fronts', Flame just picks a space hopper. As they choose their opponent, Vangar the Spatula Constructor (and the 'viking' from earlier), Sackhead regrets his choice of items.

Back with Granee, creatures called "Kamikaze Whippersnappers" appear from the giant egg and attack the heroes. They are easy to deal with at first, but even more arrive and smother Grrrr and Bob. Dog escapes, promising to return. Fezhead admits he messed up on that game and leaves them to fend for themselves as he and Skull watch "Avocado Mexican Bandit Punters." At the tournament, Vangar kicks the space hopper which sends Flame bouncing around the room, hitting people. At the same time, Vangar flails and kicks at people whilst Dog arrives in the level. Sackhead activates his power blaster boots and rips the rubber glove off Vangar's hand, shoving it on the villain's head. Sackhead and Flame win the tournament.

On their way to rescue Grrr and Bob, Sackhead and Flame come across the Tronic Twins, strung up by hooks. They reveal they were once Granee's favourites until they complained about her twisted version of snooker. Sackhead helps them down and they reveal the way to rescue their friends. As they jump into the tunnel, Granee reveals she wants to use their brains to give life to her garden pea and 8-ball extract. Sackhead and Flame arrive, ready for a fight. As Fezhead watches TV, Skull points out that it is chaos in the game. Fezhead needs a stronger challenge so summons the Y Not Y-Fronts Man, who is "re-programmed" to fight the heroes. In turn, he makes his way to the tournament to fetch the fallen warriors to help his cause. Sackhead and Flame are aided by the Tronic Twins, but the arrival of the tournament fighters spells the start of a tough battle.

A massive fight breaks out. One warrior has an earwax problem, with his earwax turning into two monsters and joining in the fight. During the fight, Y Not Y-Fronts Man challenges someone to a fight, but when nobody responds, he starts beating himself up. Flame hits Granee with the space hopper, turning her into a load of carrot-shooting pigs. Fortunately, they like ice-cream and they free Bob and Grrr from their frozen prison. With the battle won, Fezhead enters the level armed with love spray to make all the warriors peaceful. The goal has been achieved - the couch potatoes have been turned into commandoes, so it is time for them to go to a higher level.

Trivia[]

• One panel encourages people not to drink bubble bath.. but to drink shampoo instead. This brought at least one complaint to a later edition of Speedlines.

• Pirate S.T.C. is based on Pirate SEGA, an early 90s advertising campaign.

• Psycho of the Tronic Twins vaguely resembles Amy Rose. Similarly, one of the woodland creatures looks like a pre-transformation Sonic the Hedgehog.

Future[]

Reception to the comic is mixed amongst fans, with many simply not 'getting it', whether or not there anything to get. Several plans have been made for "Pirate STCO", an adaption for Sonic the Comic Online but nothing has materialised.

Timeline[]

This is a stadnalone strip and there have been no more parts as of yet.