Walking the Plankton/transcript

	"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Walking the Plankton" from season 8, which aired on November 7, 2011.

[Plankton, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick gather at SpongeBob's pineapple.]
Plankton: [laughs] Salutations, puny mortals! I am the great genie of the slide carousel! Whoo! Endorse my vacation slides or I shall grant you three miseries!
Mr. Krabs: Heh, it's supposed to be three wishes.
Plankton: Silence, red one! Withstand my slides!
Mr. Krabs: [sighs]
SpongeBob: [happily] Yay!
Plankton: [turns on the projector but gets launched back by the slide and gets burnt by the light; screams, then jumps up, destroys the projector and spills slides everywhere]
SpongeBob: Everything okay in there, oh great genie?
Plankton: What are you, mocking me, kid? Of course everything's not okay. I can't show my slides!
SpongeBob: Well, that's not the can-do spirit. [takes the projector light and sticks it in one of his holes. He then picks up one of the slides with his tongue and places it in front of the light. Now the slide is visible]
Plankton: Now we're cooking with blubber! My second honeymoon, it started out as any romantic getaway would. With five days of round-the-clock surveillance...
[Cuts to Plankton watching through his telescope as the mailman tip-toes up to the Krusty Krab mailbox and tries as quietly as possible to put the letter into the mailbox.]
SpongeBob: [bashes through the front doors of the Krusty Krab] Whoa! [takes out the letter] Ooh, a letter! Thank you, Mr. Mailman!
Mailman: [annoyed] Oh, if I weren't already on parole.
SpongeBob: [crashes through the roof of the Krusty Krab with the letter between his feet] Ha ha ha ha! Mail call! [opens the letter with his teeth and gives it to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: That-a-boy! [laughs; reads the letter] It's free tickets!
SpongeBob: Free tickets to what, Mr. Krabs? [reads the letter out loud] You and a guest have won a week of relaxation on a luxury ocean cruise ship!
Mr. Krabs: Wohoo! Works for me! [grabs his suitcases] Gentlemen, I'm leaving you in charge! See you when I see ya!
SpongeBob: [looks at the letter again] Oh, Mr. Krabs, this says you and a guest!
Mr. Krabs: [stops] Well, I suppose I could make that extra ticket available to, say, whoever is to be me man-servant?
SpongeBob: [picks up Mr. Krabs' bags] Right this way, sir! [they exit the Krusty Krab]
Plankton: [looks through his telescope] You might as well hand over that secret formula right now, 'cause once you shove off it's as good as mine! Ha ha ha! What in sea-bottoms?!
Mr. Krabs: [to SpongeBob] Now look here, boy. I'm bringing along the secret formula as a precaution, just in case our absence proves to temptin' to a certain one-eyed creepy-crawly.
Plankton: Well played, Krabs, well played indeed. But, as usual, this one-eyed creepy-crawly is one step ahead of you! [pulls down a chart] You can't beat Plan B, you can't beat it! Ah, this is going to be so sweet! Karen, we are going on a luxury cruise!
Karen: A cruise, just the two of us?! Oh, Plankton! [cries out of joy but soon stops] Hey, if this is another scheme to steal the secret formula, you can leave me home!
Plankton: No, of course not! [gets rid of the chart] Just think of it as our second honeymoon.
Karen: Don't you have to have a first honeymoon before you embark on a second?
Plankton: Why don't I bump those vacation settings up a smidge? [turns up Karen's vacation settings]
Karen: Oh, Plankton, this second honeymoon is gonna be so great!
Plankton: [pulls a big suitcase] Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe. Now a quick check of the vacation inventory. Suntan lotion, sunglass, death laser...
Karen: Got it! [shoots a death laser and splits the suitcase in half] Did you see the pretty laser, honey?
Plankton: See it?! It almost split me in half!
Karen: Whoops, sorry! I'm just so excited about our cruise, cruisey cruise cruise, ha ha ha! Cruise, cruise! [Plankton turns down her vacation settings] Cruise, ha ha ha, cruise...
Plankton: Gotta rethink that vacation algorithm when we get back.
[The next scene is on the huge luxury ocean cruise ship. A band is playing and fish are relaxing on deck.]
Plankton: [he and Karen are relaxing on deck] Nothing tops kicking back next to my loving computer wife and soaking up the rays.
Karen: Oh, I hope I don't get screen burn.
Plankton: Let me give you a hand with that, honey. [puts sunscreen on Karen's screen]
Karen: Oh, Plankton, you're such a sweet husband when you aren't obsessing over that stupid secret formula! [Plankton sees SpongeBob pushing Mr. Krabs along the deck in a mobile chair]
Mr. Krabs: Whee, ah ha ha!
Plankton: There he is, that swabby fool. Your turn now, Krabs.
Karen: Plankton, what are you denouncing now?
Plankton: Um, oh, the hors d'oeuvre guy, he's late with my nibbles again.
Karen: Oh, don't get all worked up, Plankton. Let's just focus on spending some quality time together alone for a change. [Plankton spots Mr. Krabs again]
Mr. Krabs: Ah, ha ha ha! Now push me back to the top, push me to the top!
Hors D'oeuvre Guy: Would you like a nibble, sir?
Plankton: Is that Kelp Cheese? [grabs the cheese, but it's too heavy for him, so he falls with the cheese on his head. Karen takes a photo of him]
Karen: That snack is as big as you are! Ha ha ha ha!
Plankton: Very funny, Karen. Perhaps you should've married a pile of cheese. [gets an idea] That's it!
[Plankton shapes the cheese to look like him and sneaks away. He once again sees Mr. Krabs.]
Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob: Ha ha ha!
Plankton: [trying to get up the stairs] Un! Eh! Un! Un! Eh!
Mr. Krabs: Ah ha ha! Whee! Ha ha ha! [laughs]
Plankton: [panting, then screams. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob run over him]
Mr. Krabs: Did you hear that? [Plankton moans and hides from them, leaving squash marks behind] I could've sworn that I heard Plankteron!
SpongeBob: Hey, me too.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, well. One more time around the deck!
[Plankton comes back to where he was relaxing before. He gets rid of the cheese.]
Plankton: I'm so exhausted! How's it going, honey?
Karen: Zzzzz... yawn... hi, Plankton, I must have activated sleep mode. Oh, what a great idea this was getting away from your usual shenanigans.
Plankton: Yeah, heh heh, sure is. [spots Mr. Krabs] Uh, just sit back while I massage your wheels. [massages her wheels]
Karen: Now you're making me so tired... zzzz... zzzz...
Plankton: Sleep well, babe. [laughs]
[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are in the sauna. Plankton is in the water bowl and nearly gets scooped up by SpongeBob.]
Plankton: Whew, that was close. [a fish scoops him up]
Fat hairy fish: Boy, I'm so sweaty. [pours the water down his back. Plankton slides down his back, fast approaching the fish's butt]
Plankton: [screams as he plunges into the fish's crack. He is now plastered against his butt in a very uncomfortable position] I hate you, Krabs.
[Now Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are playing shuffleboard on deck. Plankton is under one of the pucks.]
Mr. Krabs: Wahoo!
Plankton: You're not getting away this time!
Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling lucky! [hits the puck that Plankton is under]
Plankton: [screams]
[Mr. Krabs is now water-skiing behind the ship. SpongeBob and Plankton are watching him.]
Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah!
SpongeBob: Go, Mr. Krabs!
Plankton: I don't care anymore! Formula or no formula, I'm taking you down! [takes out a knife to cut the rope attached to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: [laughs]
SpongeBob: [just then, the ship malfunctions and tips left and right] Whoa! Ahh!
Plankton: [falls into the water and screams. Underwater, he comes too close to the propeller and gets cut in half] Alright, alright! I give up! I know what I'm beat!
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, what's all this? Free Land Food, sounds so exotic. [picks up a piece of corn and sniffs it] Huh, this looks promising. [takes a bite, but immediately spits it out. It lands in SpongeBob's mouth] That tastes like putrefied coral stems dipped in rotten butter sauce.
SpongeBob: [with corn in his mouth] Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Ugh, how can anyone stand this slop? It makes me miss our grub over back at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, be a good man-servant and fix me up a Krabby Patty, would ya?
SpongeBob: A good fry cook is never far from his grill, sir. [takes out a suitcase that transforms a grill]
Sadie Rechid: What is that delicious smell?
Fred Rechid: I don't know, but I want it, whatever it is!
SpongeBob: Order up, Mr. Krabs!
[Mr. Krabs is about to eat the Krabby Patty when suddenly tons of people line up to order a Krabby Patty.]
Mr. Krabs: He he hey! Looks like we have a business venture on our hands. This vacation just got a whole lot more lookerin' if you know what I'm sayin'. Krabby Patties! Come and get your Krabby Patties!
Plankton: [dressed up as an old English folk] Ahem, good day sirs, I would like to pilfer your, I mean, purchase a Krabby Patty.
Mr. Krabs: Hmm, watch me sucker this guy. That will be a mere one hundred dollars.
Plankton: That's all? Why certainly, he he he. [hands Mr. Krabs $100 and Mr. Krabs hands Plankton the Krabby Patty]
Mr. Krabs and Plankton: Ah he he he he...
Mr. Krabs: Come to daddy! [sniffs the $100 bill] Hey, wait a minute, there's chum all over this bill. Hey, buddy! Where did you get this?
Plankton: From the same place this is going, the Chum Bucket laboratory! Nice doing business, Krabs! He he he he! [gets away on a jet-pack]
Mr. Krabs: Nooooo!
SpongeBob: Stand back, sir. Leave this to your trusty man-servant. [starts to chase Plankton]
Plankton: Ah ha ha ha ha! [sprays smoke into SpongeBob's face] Choke on that, you big... omf! [hits Karen's screen. SpongeBob takes the Krabby Patty back]
Karen: I knew that you were up to something! I can't believe you'd try and fool me for your own selfish needs! My second honeymoon, ruined! [cries]
Plankton: Well, technically it's your first.
Karen: Oh, would you can it already? I guess I have no choice, but to turn up the settings on my vacation app. [turns up her own vacation settings]
Plankton: Bu... but I don't think that's such a good...[Karen goes crazy once again and starts firing a laser beam through the middle of the ship. The ship splits in two and starts sinking as people start jumping over the edge and paddling away in lifeboats. As people row away in lifeboats, the captain of the ship is one of the many on the lifeboats]
Cruise Ship Captain: Oh, if I wasn't on parole!
Mr. Krabs: [he and SpongeBob are looking over the edge of the ship] Me customers! Aw, this vacation is a total bust!
Karen: [Plankton is paddling her away in a lifeboat] Thanks, my sweet little gondolier. This is going to be the best... [fires the laser] ...honeymoon ever!