This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Whole Tooth" from season 9, which aired on December 3, 2016.

• [The episode begins at the Bikini Bottom Fair. SpongeBob and Patrick are chewing on some salt water taffy.]
• SpongeBob: Mmm! Isn't this salt water taffy just taffylicious?
• Patrick: Mmm! Stickerific!
• [SpongeBob and Patrick continue chewing taffy. SpongeBob forms his taffy into guitar strings in his mouth and his tongue plays music with them. SpongeBob giggles. Patrick forms his taffy into a dog and the dog barks. SpongeBob stretches his taffy and makes a jump rope out of it. Patrick stretches his taffy and lassos some more taffy into his mouth.]
• Patrick: Oww!
• SpongeBob: What's the matter, Patrick?
• Patrick: I have a headache inside of my tooth!
• SpongeBob: Maybe you should do something about that.
• Patrick: Okay, I will!
• [Patrick runs off and SpongeBob hears Patrick screaming in pain. When he comes back, he has mouse traps all over his body.]
• SpongeBob: How does that help?
• Patrick: Well, now that my all over hurts, I'm not thinking about my mouth. [his mouth vibrates] Ow! I guess that didn't work!
• [Patrick shakes the mouse traps off and they land on SpongeBob. SpongeBob jumps and shakes the traps off his body.]
• SpongeBob: That's it! I'm taking you to the dentist, Patrick.
• Patrick: No way! I've heard horror stories!
• SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Patrick. Dentists are our friends. [notices Patrick missing] Huh? Patrick? Patrick?
• [SpongeBob looks around and sees Patrick trying to pose as a toy prize at a bottle toss stand.]
• SpongeBob: Oh.
• [SpongeBob goes to the bottle toss stand, pays the carnie a dollar, takes a ball, and wins the game.]
• Carnie: And we have a winner.
• [The carnie gives SpongeBob Patrick as a prize.]
• SpongeBob: Thank you!
• Patrick: Aww, darn it.
• [SpongeBob carries Patrick away. Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick at the dentist office.]
• SpongeBob: Oh boy! Aren't dentist offices fun? [gasps] Oh, they've got colorful wooden beads on wires! [plays with the toy] Whoa, look at it go!
• Patrick: Slow down, SpongeBob! This place is scary enough without you going crazy with the beads!
• [Patrick grabs a magazine, blows dust off of it, and sees a picture of a fish from the 1700s with rotten teeth. He freaks out and throws the magazine away. He sees a tooth jack in the box break. He freaks out again. He gets even more frightened when he also sees a girl with braces and her teeth being held up by rubber bands and wires.]
• Radio announcer: And that was the Incidentals with the startling number called Dramatic Music Stings. Coming up, here's the Spookers with the haunting little tune called Ominous.
• Agnes: Patrick Star, we're ready for you now.
• [Patrick hides under the sofa.]
• SpongeBob: Aww, come on, Patrick. [pulls Patrick out] The doctor will fix you right up.
• [SpongeBob drags Patrick.]
• Agnes: Sit here, please. Dr. Mundane will be right with you.
• [SpongeBob pulls Patrick to the dentist chair. Patrick begins to sweat as he sees a shadow looming in. Patrick freaks out and Dr. Mundane appears before him.]
• Dr. Mundane: Agnes, please turn down that radio.
• [Agnes turns off the radio and Dr. Mundane climbs up to his chair.]
• Dr. Mundane: I'm Dr. Beige Mundane. You must be Patrick Star. What seems to be the problem?
• Patrick: No problem. I was just leaving.
• SpongeBob: No, Patrick! Sit!
• [SpongeBob grabs the rinser and sprays Patrick with water to make him sit.]
• SpongeBob: Good boy. [He accidentally sprays himself with water.] Ow!
• [SpongeBob laughs and wrings himself.]
• Dr. Mundane: Let's take a look in your mouth. Open wide, please.
• [Patrick opens his mouth and releases an awful odor, causing a foghorn to sound. Dr. Mundane sees that one tooth is smaller than the rest and pokes it with his dental tools.]
• Dr. Mundane: Mm-hmm. I see the problem. Your friend here still has a baby tooth.
• SpongeBob: Oh, I wanna see!
• [SpongeBob jumps on Patrick's chest and goes in his mouth. In Patrick's mouth, there is a sunken ship in his left cheek and bats fly into his throat. SpongeBob looks and sees Patrick's baby tooth wearing a blue cap sleeping in his jaw.]
• SpongeBob: Aww. Coochie coo!
• [Patrick's baby tooth cries and Patrick bites SpongeBob in half. He spits out the other half of SpongeBob and puts him back together. SpongeBob giggles.]
• Patrick: I still have a baby tooth?
• Dr. Mundane: Yes. [pulls down his x-ray and shows a bigger tooth trying to push the baby tooth out] And the pain is coming from your adult tooth trying to push your baby tooth out of the way.
• Patrick: [gasps and pushes the x-ray away] That's not right!
• Dr. Mundane: It's the natural way of things. [holds out some bigger pliers with sharp edges] If you want the pain to go away, then I need to extract the tooth.
• [Dr. Mundane uses the bigger pliers to open the door and takes out smaller pliers to pull the baby tooth out.]
• Patrick: You leave my baby tooth alone, you monster!
• [Patrick runs away.]
• SpongeBob: Patrick, come back!
• [SpongeBob follows Patrick out of the dentist office.]
• Patrick: Nobody's gonna tell me what to do with my baby tooth! This tooth is staying in my mouth!
• SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick. But that means your tooth won't be going to Tooth Island.
• Patrick: Tooth Island?
• SpongeBob: Yeah! Tooth Island! It's where the Tooth Fairy takes all the baby teeth that are left under pillows.
• [SpongeBob images up an island with baby teeth swimming in calcium lakes, sleeping in gum trees and swinging on floss-like vines.]
• SpongeBob: Tooth Island is a wonderful place where teeth can be free! They can soak in the calcium pools all day or sleep in the comfort of the pink gum trees. They get to swing on floss vines and never ever have to worry about cavities.
• Baby teeth: Hey, come on over! Come on!
• SpongeBob: Of course, I guess your baby tooth could be happy in your mouth all alone by itself.
• [Patrick's baby tooth cries upon seeing how lonely it is.]
• Patrick: I don't care, SpongeBob! I know what's best for my tooth! I can make it happy.
• [Patrick walks off. Bubble transition to nighttime at Patrick's house. Patrick is wearing a bathrobe, has hair on his face, and has hair curlers on his head. Patrick is still suffering pain in his mouth as rubs his cheek and his baby tooth continues to cry. Patrick moves his jaw back and forth.]
• Patrick: ♪Rock a bye baby on the treetop♪
• [Nothing helps. He grabs some keys and jingles with them. The baby tooth stops crying and giggles at the keys. Patrick accidentally drops the keys.]
• Patrick: Oops.
• [The keys hit the baby tooth's head and it goes back to crying. Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab. Patrick is eating a Krabby Patty. But as he chews, he continues to feel pain in his mouth.]
• Patrick: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
• [SpongeBob, who is at the grill making Krabby Patties, hears Patrick screaming.]
• SpongeBob: Hmm. My friendship sense is tingling. Patrick must be in trouble.
• [Patrick moans in pain.]
• SpongeBob: What's the matter, pal?
• Patrick: [swallows] Nothing! Just, uh, practicing being a seal! [laughs]
• [Patrick claps and barks like a seal. Craig Mammalton is offended by Patrick and angrily walks off.]
• Patrick: Ow!
• SpongeBob: Patrick, Dr. Mundane always says, "If you can't bite, things ain't right."
• Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob. I guess I have to get my tooth to the Tooth Fairy.
• Squidward: Ha! You rube. There's no such thing as a Tooth Fairy.
• [SpongeBob and Patrick gasps]
• SpongeBob: Squidward!
• Squidward: It's all a bunch of made-up baloney.
• SpongeBob: It is not baloney!
• Squidward: It is baloney!
• Patrick: Who's got baloney?
• Squidward: [groans] There is no baloney! Just like there is no Tooth Fairy. In fact, if you could prove there were a Tooth Fairy, I would eat, oh, a bucket of chum!
• SpongeBob and Patrick: Eew!
• SpongeBob: Squidward, why would you want to do that?
• Squidward: I said I would, only if there was a Tooth Fairy, and since there isn't a Tooth Fairy, I will never have to eat a bucket of chum.
• SpongeBob: Patrick, I've been your friend for a long time. I would never lie to you. You need Dr. Mundane's help so you could get your tooth to the Tooth Fairy.
• Patrick: That's okay, SpongeBob. I think I can manage.
• [Patrick takes out a blender, grinds a Krabby Patty into a smoothie, puts a tiny umbrella and a straw in it, and drinks it through his nose. As he swallows it, a drip of the smoothie falls on his baby tooth and it starts crying again. Patrick cries in pain and falls to the floor.]
• SpongeBob: You see, Patrick? We have got to get that tooth out.
• Patrick: You'll have to catch me first!
• [Patrick runs away.]
• SpongeBob: Patrick, wait!
• [SpongeBob chases Patrick. But in doing so, he jumps on the barrel and begins rolling in place with it.]
• Squidward: Ha, ha! Tooth Fairy! What a couple of molar morons!
• [SpongeBob kicks the barrel in Squidward's face and resumes chasing Patrick. Patrick is running down the road. SpongeBob, with some help from two worms, chases Patrick like a sheriff chasing an outlaw. SpongeBob takes off his glasses and looks around for Patrick.]
• Patrick: The worms!
• [Patrick runs through a grassy field. SpongeBob and the worms plow through the field. Patrick jumps over a wire fence. SpongeBob and the worms break through the fence. Patrick stops at a lake, grabs a bamboo stick for a snorkel, jumps in the lake, and sucks water in his body. SpongeBob and the worms stop and look for Patrick. The worms spot Patrick at the lake and Patrick spits water at them, which makes him flying into a tree. On the tree is a wanted sign with Patrick's picture on it. Patrick takes a pencil and writes on the sign.]
• Patrick: Not wanted. That fixes it.
• [Patrick sees SpongeBob and the worms catching up to him and frantically climbs up the tree. The worms jump up and down to try to reach Patrick. The worms turn out to be smaller worms.]
• Old Lady: Mipsey, Pipsey, you bad girls! You get back on this leash!
• [The two worms go back on the leash and the old lady walks off.]
• Patrick: You may have called off your worms, but I'm not coming down!
• SpongeBob: Patrick, they weren't mine.
• Patrick: A likely story!
• SpongeBob: [sighs] Patrick, can I show you something?
• [SpongeBob climbs up the tree and pulls out a scrapbook.]
• Patrick: What's that?
• SpongeBob: It's a scrapbook of all my baby teeth. [shows a picture of himself with his baby tooth] Ha. That was a good one. I remember every tooth. Even though they're no longer in my mouth, I still keep the memory of them in my heart.
• Patrick: [laughs] I thought you kept them in the scrapbook!
• SpongeBob: Patrick, don't you think your baby tooth wants to see all his old friends on Tooth Island?
• Old Lady: Don't listen to him! I still have all my baby teeth and look at me!
• [The old lady shows them her teeth and they look incredibly hideous. SpongeBob and Patrick freak out.]
• Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob. We can go.
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob and Patrick at the dentist office again.]
• Patrick: I'm ready, Doc. Do what you have to do.
• [Dr. Mundane finally extracts Patrick's baby tooth from his mouth with the pliers.]
• Dr. Mundane: I'm done.
• Patrick: That's it?
• Dr. Mundane: That's it.
• [Dr. Mundane gives Patrick his baby tooth which is wrapped in a blanket. His baby tooth is now happy.]
• Patrick: You're going under my pillow so you can go to Tooth Island my sweet boy!
• [Bubble transition to SpongeBob opening Patrick's house open. Patrick is sleeping while his baby tooth is under his pillow. SpongeBob attempts to take the tooth until a light appears and Patrick wakes up.]
• Patrick: SpongeBob?
• Squidward: [holding a spotlight] Ha! I was right! The Tooth Fairy isn't real!
• Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob!
• SpongeBob: Patrick, you don't understand! I'm just helping to get your tooth to the Tooth Fairy!
• Squidward: Oh, that's a good one.
• SpongeBob: It's true!
• Patrick: How can I believe you? All the lies! [holds out his dictionary] The chicanery! [cries]
• Squidward: [laughs] Look at how betrayed Patrick feels! Oh, this was totally worth staying up all night.
• SpongeBob: You don't believe there's a Tooth Fairy? Well, follow me and I'll show ya.
• [SpongeBob takes Patrick and Squidward to the docks.]
• SpongeBob: Behold, the Tooth Ferry!
• [The "Tooth Fairy" turns out to be a huge ferry with teeth decorations and the words "Tooth Ferry" on the bow. Several people are tearing up as they say good-bye to their baby teeth as they go on the boat.]
• SpongeBob: This is where parents and friends take teeth so they can be ferried to Tooth Island.
• Patrick: There really is a Tooth Ferry!
• SpongeBob: Of course.
• [Squidward drops his jaw in surprise and his eyeballs fall on his tongue.]
• Ferry Worker: All aboard!
• [The ferry worker directs the teeth onto the boat. Patrick's baby tooth waves at Patrick before leaving.]
• Baby Tooth: [giggles] Hello!
• [Patrick sheds tears of joy and the Tooth Ferry blows dollars out of the horns as it departs for Tooth Island. The crowd cheers as they get money from the Tooth Ferry and wave good-bye to their teeth. SpongeBob catches a dollar.]
• SpongeBob: Oh, here. This is yours.
• Patrick: Could you wait 'til I'm asleep and put it under my pillow?
• SpongeBob: Mm, sure Patrick. Anything for a pal.
• [SpongeBob puts the dollar in his pocket. Squidward, who is shocked at the sudden revelation, tries to run away.]
• Patrick: Hey! Where do you think you're going, chum chewer?
• [Patrick grabs Squidward and holds him up. Patrick and SpongeBob are now angry at Squidward for what he tried to do.]
• Squidward: Hey, come on! This is just a big misunderstanding! Ferry, fairy: They're two different words that just happen to sound alike!
• [SpongeBob holds up a bucket of chum meat.]
• SpongeBob: Open wide, Squidward!
• Squidward: No.
• [Squidward's teeth scream and they jump out of his mouth. Squidward's teeth go into the water and swim towards the Tooth Ferry, ending the episode.]