Squidtastic Voyage/transcript

	"Cut! No, Mermaid Man, it's 'stolen Krabby Patties.'" This transcript is in need of repair. Please help Encyclopedia SpongeBobia by fixing this transcript. Please remove this message when finished.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Squidtastic Voyage" from season 4, which aired on October 6, 2006.

[The Bikini Bottom Island is shown.]
French Narrator: Today, [the scene goes underwater] we study the gentle rhythm of the sea.
[The scene shows the exterior of Patrick's rock, Squidward's house, and SpongeBob's pineapple. Loud music is heard coming from SpongeBob's pineapple.]
French Narrator: [angrily] Gentle rhythm! [the scene shows the front of SpongeBob's pineapple] Oh, never mind.
[The living room is shown. Gary is shown.]
Gary: Meow.
[He enters his shell and closes a door to the shell. SpongeBob's feet start sliding backwards.]
SpongeBob: Uh-huh! [all of him is shown and he is sliding in front of a stereo system and wearing a blue headband] Uh-huh!
[SpongeBob stops next to Patrick, who is wearing a violet headband. The two slap their armpits. SpongeBob slaps his left arm pit and Patrick slaps his right. They get close together and start making fart noises with their armpits. They stop that and separate. They then bob up and down. SpongeBob runs into another part of the room.]
SpongeBob: Ocean wave. [makes a wave with his arms going right to left and then left to right] Tropical breeze.
[He starts swaying from side to side. Patrick is shown. He twirls around with his right hand on the floor, going clockwise. He then starts spinning on his butt with his arms holding his legs.]
Patrick: Whirlpool.
[Patrick starts spinning so fast that he moves out of the scene. SpongeBob is shown doing a head stand.]
SpongeBob: Reverse Whirlpool.
[SpongeBob takes his arms and twirls himself. He starts to spin really quickly. Patrick then hits SpongeBob while they are both doing the whirlpools and they go flying. Patrick goes left and SpongeBob goes right. They start bouncing off the walls. Squidward is shown in his house playing his clarinet. He plays a few notes badly, but stops because he is annoyed with how loudly SpongeBob's music is. The exterior of both SpongeBob and Squidward's houses is shown. Squidward opens the window.]
Squidward: SpongeBob, turn that noise off! [Squidward's window is shown. He takes out his clarinet.] This'll get his attention.
[Squidward starts to blow into the clarinet. SpongeBob's stairwell is shown. SpongeBob knocks down the door with his spinning legs. Patrick is still bouncing in the living room. SpongeBob flies out of the room and hits Squidward in the face, knocking him back and lodging his clarinet in his mouth. SpongeBob bounces a little more and lands on Squidward's floor.]
SpongeBob: Oh! [His face is shown to be caved into his body. It pops out.] Oh.
[Squidward is shown.]
Squidward: Sponge...
[A note from the clarinet plays. Squidward starts choking. The clarinet gets even more lodged in his throat SpongeBob gasps.]
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, you've swallowed your clarinet again. I'll get it.
[SpongeBob starts walking towards Squidward.]
Squidward: No! [Squidward gets up and starts walking backwards.] No! [A note plays] Don't... [A note plays] touch... [A note plays and he hits a wall.] me!
[A note plays and Squidward tries to hold SpongeBob's arms to keep him from touching him.]
SpongeBob: I'll get a better look. [He opens Squidward mouth wide and looks inside. Squidward's mouth is shown.] Mm. It's too dark. This calls for extreme measures. [He takes Squidward and puts Squidward's mouth over SpongeBob. Squidward starts flailing his arm tentacles. Noises starts happening. The exterior of the three houses. Sally and Monroe Timmy are outside. Sally is holding Monroe Timmy's arm and he is shocked. Sally puts her arm fins around Monroe Timmy's ears and they walk away. Squidward and SpongeBob are shown again. SpongeBob is struggling to get the clarinet out. He gets it out.] Got it! Hey, the pointy bit at the end is missing.
[Squidward takes his clarinet.]
Squidward: It's called a reeeee! [When he says the last part, a note plays.]
SpongeBob: What's a [SpongeBob makes his face looks like Squidward's] reeeee?
[SpongeBob's face goes back to normal.]
Squidward: Great. [A high note plays.] My reed... [A note plays.] is still... [A note plays.] stuck in my... [A note plays.] throat. [A note plays.] And it's all your fault. [A note plays.]
SpongeBob: [As notes are playing from Squidward's mouth] There's only one thing to do. We gotta see Sandy.
[The scene changes to show an x-ray of Squidward's neck with the reed in it.]
Sandy: [Off-screen] Hmm. [Panning to show her in her treedome looking at the x-ray.] Just as I thought. [SpongeBob is shown next to Sandy, who is next to Squidward, who is wearing a helmet behind an x-ray machine.] You have that pointy bit from the end of your clarinet stuck in your throat. That was [She lifts the x-ray machine from Squidward, who is angry.] clumsy of you.
Squidward: I didn't. It was SpongeBob who...
[A note plays.]
Sandy: Well, there's nothing to do for it, but surgery.
[Sandy pulls Squidward's left arm tentacle and runs off-screen.]
SpongeBob: Ooh!
[SpongeBob walks after them. The scene changes to show the three outside. They walk up a ramp that leads to a submarine that is on a platform with a laser above it. The platform is connected to a another area that has a satellite dish on it.]
Sandy: Now is my chance to try out my new invention-- The solution to your problem.
Squidward: A submarine?
[A note plays.]
Sandy: That's right, Squidward. Let me show you. [She walks off-screen. The scene changes to show. A laboratory with a large computer that has Squidward's general shape on it. The shape is on its side. His brain, lungs, heart, and stomach shown.] This whole lab is called the Chamber of Shrinkage. [The image of Squidward's general shape moves to the left, rotates, and Squidward is shown. A submarine is shown.] I'll shrink the sub and myself to microscopic size.. [The scene zooms into the images of the submarine and then a shrink ray appears. a beam of light appears and the image of the submarine shrinks. It start moving towards the Squidward image.] ...then navigate through [The submarine enters the Squidward image and it becomes how it was in the original. It is shown on the brain image.] your brain, [The submarine goes down Squidward's cerebral cortex and to the reed.] down into your throat, [The ship does the same thing it did, but in reverse and with the reed.] then extract the reed [Sandy is shown holding her hands together.] from inside. Simple!
Squidward: Why don't you just shrink the reed?
[Sandy laughs.]
Sandy: Oh, Squidward, always wanting to do it the hard way! [The scene changes to show Squidward in a white patients gown sitting on a chair. Sandy is in front of him and SpongeBob is behind her.] We're all set, Squidward! Are you ready for the sedative?
Squidward: Are you sure this is safe?
Sandy: Completely! As long as someone competent is behind the wheel. Hey, what's that? [Squidward looks then Sandy knocks him out with a karate chop.] Hi-yah! Sweet dreams, partner. Oops! I forgot to pack food for the trip. I've got to get some supplies from my treedome, and I need you to guard the submarine while I'm gone. [SpongeBob smiles] Do you think you can handle it, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Can do, Sandy! [The scene changes to show SpongeBob walking back and forth in front of the submarine.] Hut-hut-hut, hut-hut-hut! Hut-hut-hut, huttidy-hut-hut!
[Patrick walks up to SpongeBob.]
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hello citizen.
Patrick: What are you doing?
SpongeBob: Guarding Sandy's submarine.
Patrick: Wow. I've never been in a submarine. Let's look inside.
SpongeBob: Can't. I'm guarding it.
Patrick: Oh, man! Could you guard it from the inside?
[SpongeBob stops.]
SpongeBob: You're right! [He bows to Patrick.] Patrick, you're a genius!
[SpongeBob takes a remote with a red Button with a label that reads, "open." He presses the button. The door to the submarine opens.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh!
[They both salute]
SpongeBob: SpongeBob and Patrick reporting for guard duty. [They both laugh and jump inside. Patrick stars pressing buttons and SpongeBob pretends to be piloting the submarine.]
Patrick: Hmm. [He finds a yellow button with a label that reads "Shrink."] "Shrink." I do have a lot of issues.
[Patrick presses the button and a warning light starts.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Pretty.
[The submarine shrinks a little, squishing SpongeBob and Patrick against the windshield. Sandy enters the room.]
Sandy: I'm back, SpongeBob. [She drops box of nuts.] Uh-oh.
[SpongeBob shrinks and Patrick laughs while grabbing SpongeBob.]
Patrick: You're so tiny. [He shrinks even smaller than SpongeBob.] A giant SpongeBob!
[The two shrink until they appear to look like dots. The submarine shrinks completely. A robot hand grabs the submarine. Sandy leans in.]
Sandy: Patrick! SpongeBob!
[Patrick screams]
Patrick: Sandy's grown to gigantic size!
SpongeBob: I don't think Sandy grew, Patrick. I think we shrunk.
Patrick: [Stupidly] That's silly. Don't you think it's more likely that the entire world grew?
[The robot hand takes the submarine and sticks it in Squidward's nose.]
Sandy: Hi, Squidward. [Squidward wakes up.] Well, the submarine is safely inside you.
Squidward: Wonderful. [Frantic] Wait! If you're out here, then who's in here?
[Squidward holds head.]
Sandy: Well, why don't you take a look for yourself?
[Sandy pulls down a monitor showing the submarine inside of Squidward. The scene zooms in to show SpongeBob and Patrick inside. Squidward screams.]
Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick are piloting a miniature submarine inside my head. SpongeBob and Patrick... SpongeBob and...
[Squidward chuckles nervously. Sandy joins in. Squidward then screams while freaking out. He then breathes heavily and then screams.]
Sandy: You better calm down, Squidward. With them little critters inside you, I wouldn't be moving around too much. You could knock them into something important.
[Squidward swallows nervously and stops. The submarine is shown inside Squidward's nose.]
SpongeBob: [off-screen] Where are we, Patrick?
Patrick: [off-screen] I don't know, but it's a real dump.
Sandy: [over speaker] SpongeBob, Patrick, can you hear me?
SpongeBob: It's Sandy.
Patrick: She's in there? [He pulls out an ax.] I'll save you, Sandy!
[Patrick chops away at the control panel]
Sandy: Stop it, you itty-bitty idiot!
[The engine sputters and dies.]
SpongeBob: Sandy, where are you? Where are we?
Sandy: You're trespassing, SpongeBob -- in my lab, in my submarine -- and you're trespassing [The scene shows her at the speaker and Squidward in the background.] inside of Squidward.
[The scene returns to SpongeBob and Patrick who look around the area and see that Sandy's right.]
Patrick: I thought this place was in bad shape.
Squidward: [SpongeBob and Patrick jolt as Squidward speaks over the speaker] I heard that!
Sandy: [over speaker] Let's get you out of there, SpongeBob. All you need to do is locate the autopilot. It'll safely take you through your mission and then out the extraction point.
[Sandy points to Squidward's butt on the computer screen. a red light blinks there. The submarine controls explode.]
SpongeBob: Um... we broke it.
[Patrick chops at it again with the axe. The scene returns to Squidward and Sandy.]
Sandy: [angrily] Stop it! What are you trying to do? Kill him?
[Squidward starts sweating nervously.]
Sandy: [Over the speaker] This is approximately 17 times harder to drive than a boat mobile, which you've never successfully done. [She nervously chuckles. The scene shows Sandy.] So, just take it nice and easy.
[The scene shows SpongeBob.]
SpongeBob: No problemo. Nice and... easy!
[SpongeBob pushes the gas pedal to the floor making the submarine go as fast as it can. Both Patrick and SpongeBob are screaming as they head towards the brain, hitting Squidward's nasal cavity. The scene returns to Sandy and Squidward.]
Squidward: So, how's it going? [The sound of a vehicle crashing is heard. SpongeBob reverse the submarine, but is stuck in Squidward's brain. He successfully does so and the submarine flies backwards. They hit the side of Squidward's interior cranium and then hit Squidward's brain and this repeats for a while. Squidward's eyes become out of control.] I can't control my eyeballs!
Sandy: Don't worry, it's temporary. Now, just sign this!
[She takes out a waiver. He signs it.]
Squidward: Okay, now what is this?
Sandy: Oh, just your autograph for when you're, uh... famous.
Squidward: Oh, of course. I've got [He takes out images of him wearing a sweater and a black jacket, holding a pipe.] head shots, you know. [The hand gets out of control and drops the pictures.] What the...
[He hits himself in the face.]
Sandy: Squidward!
[Squidward chokes himself. He punches Sandy, knocking her back. His hand starts freaking out.]
Squidward: What's happening? [Squidward's brain is shown. The submarine hits Squidward's brain stem repeatedly. SpongeBob and Patrick are shown fighting over the controls.]
SpongeBob: Give me that!
Patrick: No, give it back!
[They start incomprehensibly yelling at each other.]
Sandy: They're hitting your central nervous system!
[Squidward touches his shoulder as the bell dings, and then he punches himself.]
Squidward: Oh. Ya think?
Sandy: You're not in control of your actions! [Squidward kicks Sandy's butt.] Hey!
Squidward: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not in control of my actions.
[Sandy gets mad at Squidward. The submarine hits the brain stem, which causes the submarine to bounce off it. SpongeBob and Patrick are shown, screaming. The scene returns to Sandy and Squidward. Squidward is spinning in the chair.]
Sandy: They've gone off course! [Squidward is flown off course. He is then shown spazzing out as the submarine enters his stomach.] Oh my gosh! You're out of control!
[The submarine lands in the stomach acid.]
SpongeBob: Ew! Where are we? [Outside, Squidward's stomach rumbles. Inside, The submarine is getting dissolved in the green acid. Other food can also be seen being dissolved.] [As Patrick is screaming] Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! And Patrick won't stop screaming!
Sandy: The stomach acid levels are way too high!
SpongeBob: The reserve tanks are almost empty. [Patrick grunts] Patrick!
[Patrick is shown using the axe to chop at the tanks.]
Patrick: Finished.
Sandy: SpongeBob, you gotta get out of there! It's a straight shot up the stomach to the esophagus where the reed is! [A note plays] You can complete your mission if we can just access an alternative fuel. [through the speaker] Like natural gas.
[Patrick comes into the scene, holding a soda.]
SpongeBob: Natural gas?
[Patrick drinks the soda]
Patrick: Like this!
[Patrick burps.]
Squidward: Stop burping inside me! That's disgusting!
Sandy: Wait a minute, Squidward. He might be on to something.
Squidward: What?
Sandy: If you can make a big enough burp...
Patrick: We can filter the CO2 through our ballast tanks, refire the engines, and ride the shock wave out of here!
SpongeBob: Wow.
Sandy: He's right.
Squidward: What?
Sandy: We're going through with your plan, Patrick!
SpongeBob: Yay!
Patrick: What plan?
[Squidward is shown drinking a bottle of soda. He puts it with several other bottles.]
Sandy: Now burp, Squidward! Lives are on the line!
[Squidward tries to burp. Inside, the submarine is still digesting.]
SpongeBob: I never thought it would end this way. [Squidward burps loudly. A bubble forms below the submarine. It then engulfs the submarine. The reserve gas levels rise to maximum] It's working!
[The submarine starts up and pops through the bubble and out of the stomach.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whee!
Sandy: They're headed for the esophagus. [sniffs the air] Phew, what have you been eating?
Squidward: Morons.
[The submarine crashes into Squidward's throat where the reed is.]
SpongeBob: SpongeBob to Sandy. We've reached the foreign obstruction.
[He swims out wearing a swim suit, floaties, goggles, and flippers.]
Sandy: Okay, you're going to have to go out and dislodge it somehow.
SpongeBob: I'm already on it.
[He takes out a hammer and hits the reed with it, repeatedly. A card that reads, "Two Hours Later" appears.]
French Narrator: Two hours later.
SpongeBob: This stupid hammer won't break anything.
[SpongeBob throws it at the reed. The hammer bounces back and cuts SpongeBob's floaties, making him bounce around. Patrick opens the hatch, wearing goggles.]
Patrick: SpongeBob, do what you were born to do! Dance!
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. Whirlpool Spin! [He cuts the reed in half like a buzzsaw with the spin, causing Squidward to cough it up.]
Sandy: [over the speaker] Good work, guys. Mission accomplished. [the scene returns to her] Now all you have to do is...
Squidward: [pushes Sandy out of the way] Get out of my body! Go!
Patrick: Grow?
[He unknowingly presses the grow button.]
Sandy, Squidward, and SpongeBob: No!!!
[The scene then changes to show the exterior of the Krusty Krab.]
Mr. Krabs: [off-screen] Almost ready to open. [The scene then shows him finishing up polishing a golden "No refunds" sign] There.
[The sound of a door opening is heard.]
Squidward: Good morning, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Hello, Squidward. Neptune's trousers! What's gotten into you? [the scene zooms out to show Squidward with a submarine-shaped body]
SpongeBob: [inside Squidward] Reporting for Duty, Mr. Krabs.
[A toilet flushing is heard. Squidward gets angry.]
Patrick: [inside Squidward] Squidward, the toilet's backed up again.