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This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Shell Shocked" from season 6, which aired on June 1, 2009.
- [The episode starts with SpongeBob lying in bed with his teeth chattering. He hears a crash and sits up, awake. He thinks he imagined it and sighs with relief, but then there's another crashing sound. He picks up the phone to call for help.]
- SpongeBob: Hello? Hello! [realizes the phone line is cut] Huh? The line’s been cut. [slams the phone down] Barnacles! [puts on an army helmet and gets out a tennis racket] I guess I’d go better take a look. [gets up and legs start shaking] [shakes around tennis racket] Who's there? Stay back, I'm armed! [slips on a toy fire truck] Whoa! Whoa! [falls down stairs] Ha, hey! [flicks on the light switch. Novelty teeth chattering] Aha, wind-up novelty teeth! How did you wind up down here? Dahaha! [fancy boot runs in circles] What the heck is going on with my fancy boot? [goes over to fancy boot] Hey, knock it off! [boot goes in circles faster] Alright, I warned you! [whacks boot. The racket comes back around and hits SpongeBob in the face] You're a dirty fighter... I got you now! Hiya! [karate chops boot. Gary bounces out] Gary? [heads towards a sand castle near the wall] Noooooooooo! [Gary crashes underneath the bucket with soap in it] Gary! [lifts off bucket, where Gary lets out a soapy meow, and SpongeBob removes the soap from Gary’s mouth] Phew! Thank goodness. For a minute, I thought you were hurt. [pats his shell, which breaks] [shocked] Gary, I've - I've broken your shell.
- Gary: Meoooow! [starts crying in pain]
- SpongeBob: Oh no, you're in pain! Don't worry, I'll make it better. [gives Gary a tight hug and Gary screams] Sorry about that. Oh, I know, [picks up the cracks from Gary's shell] here, just use a little tape and there ya go, good as new! [shell breaks off] Oh. Well, that's alright, because we'll find a new shell for ya.
- [later]
- SpongeBob: How about this? [holds up green Hawaiian shirt with orange flowers on it]
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Yeah, you're right, too gaudy. [pulls out a Santa hat] No, too last season. [pulls out a gorilla mask] Well, I need that. Ahahaha, look, Gary! [pulls out a pair of SquarePants] Here, try this on for size.
- Gary: Meow...
- SpongeBob: Of course it's a shell. [Gary looks at him sternly] Aw, come on, don't look at me like that. [the flesh on Gary's back covers the pants and the wet pants go soggy]
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Okay, you're right, it's not a shell. [starts thinking] Oh! [comes back with a clear helmet over his head] Greetings, earthling, I am SpongeBob. I come from the future. Dahahaha. [takes off helmet] I bet this'll look great. [puffy flesh swirls up inside the helmet] Ew. I can see why snail shells aren't clear. [takes the helmet from Gary] Hmmm.
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Here it is, Gary, your new shell! [puts on a race driver helmet] Oh, you look ready to ride. [Gary throws a magazine at him] "Shell Spiffy." Great idea, Gare, I'll order you a new shell. Are there any you have your mind on, ol' buddy? [shows Gary the magazine]
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Oh, page seventy-two. Here it is - wow! [looks the same as Gary's old shell] "This stylish fully insulated, dual coat ceramic shell comes with automatic rest-room facilities standard, and for the affordable price of just... 9595.95"!? Isn't there a place I can get a quality shell without spending a fortune?
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Commercial? What commercial? [looks at the TV, where a commercial is playing]
- Commercial Voice: Uh-oh, now look what you've done. You've broke your snail's shell again.
- Actor: Yeah. Now what do I do?
- Angry Jack: You come on down to Angry Jack's Shell Emporium!
- Commercial Voice: [drop scene with shop name on it] Angry Jack's!
- Angry Jack: I'm so angry about my massive inventory that I'm slashing prices like crazy.
- Commercial Voice: Jack's angry!
- Angry Jack: Ninety-nine ninety-nine, buy this refurbished shell and I'm angry about it. [holds up a pink shell] Or what about this one? Brand new plastic shell, super gloss coat, only thirty-nine ninety-nine. [the price flashes in front of his eyes] Hey! Get those numbers outta my face! [the price then disappears] Did I mention I'm angry?
- Commercial Voice: He's seething with rage!
- Angry Jack: The wife's gone for good, so I'm gonna sell sell sell all these shell shell shells! So come on down to Angry Jack's now.
- Commercial Voice: Jack is real mad! Don't bring your kids.
- Angry Jack: And remember, I'll match or beat anyone's advertised rage or your shell is absolutely [angry voice] – [notices SpongeBob] Hey, what are you doing in my commercial? [now with a normal voice]
- SpongeBob: Oh, sorry, Angry Jack. Gary here needs a new shell, and we knew you would help us find one. Hey, shouldn't you be yelling at me right now?
- Angry Jack: Nah, I just do that to make my commercials louder. And louder is the same as better! Now, let's see if I can't get you into a new shell. Hmmm. [starts scanning the shelves] There she is! [takes the same shell as Gary's old one] There you are, little guy.
- Gary: [happily] Meow!
- SpongeBob: Oh, it's perfect! Just like the old one hey, buddy? [the shell falls off and breaks] Now, it... really looks like the old one, eh, buddy?
- Gary: [offendedly] Meow reow...
- Angry Jack: Hey, accidents will happen. Why don't we try this one? [picks up a yellow shell with orange patches]
- SpongeBob: Oooohh, that's nice, love the pattern. We'll take it. But first, I've gotta make sure it's battened down. We don't want this one slippin' off, eh, buddy? [pushes down the shell so hard, then it cracks and breaks. Angry Jack looks at him angrily] Oops. Hey, what about that one? [walks to a shell with purple and orange stripes on it. He turns around to take it to Gary, but whacks it on Angry Jack] Oops, sorry, Jack. Hey, how much is that one? [picks up shades of pink stripes. He tries to take it to Gary but his shoes are untied so he trips over lace and drops the shell, breaking it]
- Angry Jack: Why don't you just hold your snail? I'll take care of the shells.
- SpongeBob: Good idea, Angry.
- Angry Jack: So, how do ya like this one? [puts on a very bright-lighted shell]
- SpongeBob: Well, it... certainly is shiny.
- Angry Jack: It's our most reflective model.
- SpongeBob: Oh, that is bright. [stumbles backwards] Can't... see! Ow, what was that? 'Scuse me. [bashes into the shell shelves and knocks them over one by one. The shelves knock each other over like dominoes. Some shell shelves spell 'oops'] Why – can't – I – stop – breaking – shells?! [screams and falls off the shelf he was running along. View from outside Angry Jack's store] Whoops. Say, Jack, I don't suppose you have any more to show me?
- Angry Jack: I do have one more available. It's the only certified indestructible shell I've ever seen, but I'm sure you'll find a way.
- SpongeBob: Wait, wait, wait. Before we do the hand-off, let me make some precautionary measures. Okay, first, [shoes pop from under shell bits] shoes are tied. Hands are dry. [pulls out a roll of bubble wrap] And now, a thick layer of bubble wrap. [starts wrapping the shell in bubble wrap. He picks up the shell, but the actual shell falls out of the bubble wrap layer and breaks] You, um, you sure you don't have any more in the back?
- Angry Jack: The back? There is no back anymore.
- SpongeBob: Well, look on the bright side. I reduced your inventory for you.
- Angry Jack: Reduced?! You destroyed everything! And now, you're gonna have to pay!
- SpongeBob: Are you really angry or ya just trying to sound louder?
- Angry Jack: I'm really angry!
- Commercial Voice: Blistering fury!
- Angry Jack: And I demand immediate payment!
- SpongeBob: [takes about forty cents out his pocket] Take it, it's all my savings.
- Angry Jack: This? This isn't enough to repay my fortune! I'm gonna need more.
- SpongeBob: Sorry, that's all I got. Honest.
- Angry Jack: No, it's not. You've got two arms and two legs, don't ya?
- SpongeBob: Yeah.
- Angry Jack: Gimme one of each.
- SpongeBob: Okay. [does so]
- Angry Jack: I'll also need some internal organs. [SpongeBob hands one over] And an eyeball. [SpongeBob gives him an eyeball] And your clothes. [cut to SpongeBob walking in Bikini Bottom carrying a still shell-less Gary]
- SpongeBob: [sadly] Oh, Gary. How I wish your shell could grow back like my appendages. [sees a box] Hey, I've got an idea! [draws a shell pattern on the box]
- Gary: [angry tone] Meow.
- SpongeBob: Oh, Gary, it's not that bad! Square looks good on anybody! [Gary starts to cry, so SpongeBob does, too] Oh, who am I kidding? It looks terrible on you! I know, Gary, I ruined your life! Do you have to rub it in?! [Mr. Krabs pokes his head of of the dumpster behind them]
- Mr. Krabs: Hey, what's with all that sniveling?
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, what are you doing here?
- Mr. Krabs: Well, I just, - oh - well, um... never mind that, boy. What's your problem?
- SpongeBob: I destroyed Gary's shell, and now I can't find a replacement, so I guess he'll just spend the rest of his days as a lowly slug! [bawls]
- Gary: Meow.
- Mr. Krabs: There there, boy, there there. It's not that bad. I'm sure you'll think of something.
- SpongeBob: [suddenly gets an idea] Mr. Krabs, perhaps you can help me find a new shell for Gary.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, I'd be honored to help you and your snivelin' snail during such desperate times, 'cause I love helping others, like helping myself. Now, how much ya got?
- SpongeBob: Nothing, Mr. Krabs. I'm broke.
- Mr. Krabs: Oh. I see. [walks away disappointed]
- SpongeBob: Wait, Mr. Krabs! If you help me get Gary a shell, I'll, work for free for the rest of the year.
- Mr. Krabs: Only if I get to cut your health benefit for ya.
- SpongeBob: Deal! [they high five. Cut to SpongeBob's house; his teeth are chattering, and he wakes up again] Another bad dream. [sees a scary silhouette] Aaargh! [shines a flashlight at Gary] Mr. Krabs?
- Gary: Meow.
- SpongeBob: Sorry, Gary, I'm not used to your new shell. [something pink and fleshy enters through SpongeBob's bedroom window]
- Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, I need to borrow a blanket.
- SpongeBob: There ya go, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Thanks, boyo. Now I'm all toasty.
- SpongeBob: Ahh. I guess "all's shell that ends shell," huh, Gary? Dahahah! That's a good one. [Gary goes furious and crawls back, Gary slams the door locking SpongeBob out] Gary? [pounds on the door] Gary? [Gary turns off the bedroom light] Gary?