Plane to Sea/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Plane to Sea" from season 13, which aired on July 22, 2022.

[The episode starts with SpongeBob's, Squidward's, and Patrick's houses in the morning.]
Squidward: [opens his door] Ah, what a beautiful morning! Time to check the mail and sees who loves you, Squidward.
[As he opens his mailbox, SpongeBob and Patrick's butts come out.]
Squidward: [sighs in disappointment] I wonder if I can return to sender? [walks behind his mailbox and slaps it, causing SpongeBob and Patrick to come out entirely. They both spit out his mail]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Good morning, Squidward!
Squidward: Well, I'm going back to bed now, forever.
[As Squidward walks back into his house to open his door, SpongeBob and Patrick come out and they both giggle.]
SpongeBob: [holding an opened envelope with a rolled paper stick out of it] Aren't you gonna open your mail?
Squidward: [grabs the envelope] Give me that! It looks like you already did! [walks back into his house and opens the paper. After doing so, confetti comes out] I won something? But, I didn't enter any contest!
SpongeBob: It's an all-expenses paid trip to see beautiful Bora Bora Bottom! We entered it for you! And only 6,000 times, too!
Squidward: Wow. [a life-action beach at sunset appears behind him] Me, a winner, at a tropical resort. [continues reading the paper] Let's see, the winning family will board at Bikini Bottom Airport, and--- wait a minute. [the background shatters] "Winning family"?
SpongeBob: Oh, did we forget to mention?
Squidward: Oh, no. [the scene transitions into the airport] I cannot believe I let you bottomfeeders talked me into this.
SpongeBob: [licking a lollipop] Oh, it's the least we could do for a friend like you. Oop! I mean, for a... [taps Squidward] dad like you. [giggles]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [while hugging Squidward] Daddy!
Squidward: Will you morons, I mean, children please? [pushes them]
Clerk: Next? [as Squidward shows her the paper, she gasps] Attention passengers! Meet underwater air's big contest winner: Squidward Tentacles and his loving adorable family!
[Other passengers are cheering at him, while Squidward smiles.]
Clerk: Come on, dad! Let's get a picture of you and the kids for our [carries SpongeBob and Patrick to Squidward for him to carry] in-flight magazine!
[Cardboard palm trees roll down as the clerk puts a lei on Squidward's neck. Patrick bursts into tears, bawling.]
Clerk: Okay everybody, say "I love my family."
Squidward: [as Patrick continues crying] I'd rather not.
Clerk: [aggressively] Say it!
SpongeBob and Squidward: [elatedly and monotonously, respectively] I love my family.
[As the picture is being taken, SpongeBob hugs Squidward, Squidward grunts, and Patrick cheers happily. The photo prints out to be live action versions of the trio. Bubble wipe to the next scene with passengers getting on the plane.]
Patrick: [sits on Squidward] I think you're on my seat, pop.
[Squidward pulls himself out. SpongeBob zooms in, pushing Squidward to the middle seat.]
SpongeBob: And I'll take the aisle! [laughs]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Daddy's in the middle!
Squidward: Oh, no! I am not suffering a whole flight between you two barnacle brains! At least give me the aisle! [moves SpongeBob to the middle seat so he can move to the aisle]
Flight attendant: [tapping Squidward's elbow] Excuse me sir. Are you in your assigned seat? [cracks her knuckles]
[Squidward gulps. He moves SpongeBob back to the aisle, and him to the middle seat. The flight attendant does the "I'm watching you" sign to Squidward and slides off-screen.]
Second flight attendant: OK, everybody, please fasten your seatbelts by adjusting this easy-to-pull strap! [Squidward puts it on]
Flight attendant: Make sure it's nice and [pulls the strap, causing Squidward to be strained] tight! And keep your seat in the [smashes Squidward to a seat] upright position! Or else.
Squidward: Okay.
[SpongeBob puts the seatbelt through his pores. He eventually tangles himself. Patrick ties it around his neck and clicks it on. He pulls the strap and chokes himself.]
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, wanna switch so I can look out the window?
Patrick: Okay, but hurry!
[As they are trying to switch seats, this causes Squidward to be trapped by three of the seatbelts. Squidward growls.]
Pilot: Uh, attention all passengers, this is your, uh, captain speaking, please keep your, uh, [the plane starts flying upwards] seatbelts on fastened as we, uh, gain altitude.
[SpongeBob and Patrick begin to fall uncontrollably. They hang onto a seatbelt and eventually fall down. The plane starts flying normally. A sign that shows passengers to unclick their seatbelts is then shown.]
Pilot: Enjoy your flight, you may now roam around the, uh, cabin.
SpongeBob: [running] Hear that, Squidward? You can take your seatbelt off now!
Squidward: Wait, untie me!
[As SpongeBob and Patrick run through the plane, they push some passengers.]
Patrick: [notices a oxygen bag] Oh, boy! A feed bag! [as he starts inhaling from the bag, his body starts inflating and exhales, hitting other passengers]
French Narrator: [reading timecard] Twelve sleepless hours later...
[Squidward begins whimpering, and then bursts into tears, bawling.]
Baby kid: Keep it down, will ya? I'm trying to sleep! [hits Squidward on the head with her rattle. He sighs]
Patrick: Oh. I dreamt I was in the ocean, and now I gotta pee! [runs to the end of the plane to see two doors: one for the bathroom and one for the exit] Huh? Um... [looks at the two doors] Huh? Uh.. [interrupted by the flight attendant] Ah!
Second flight attendant: Can I help you with something?
Patrick: Yeah, I gotta use the bathroom! [opens the exit door, causing the second flight attendant and his red cap to fly out]
Second flight attendant: Ahh!...
Patrick: [closes the door] Rude! I was here first.
Second flight attendant: [screaming as she falls, then she pulls a parachute which was in her hat] Oh! [pulls out a book to read while humming]
Flight attendant: Hey buddy, what happened to the other flight attendant?
Patrick: She's in the bathroom. [opens the exit door again, causing the flight attendant to fly out] See?
Flight attendant: Ah, wha...!
Patrick: [closes the door again, and the flight attendant's hat lands on his head] Ooh!
Flight attendant: [screaming as she falls, then she holds onto the second flight attendant's legs. She shrugs at her]
Squidward: [straining to get out of the seat, then he mumbles. He notices something] Huh? The flight attendants will save me! [tries to press the button with his nose] Just need to... hit that call button! [his nose grows a finger and presses the button. He sighs in relief]
Patrick: Good evening, Mr. Sir! Fresh coffee?
Squidward: What, Patrick? Where are the real flight attendants?
Patrick: They've been in the bathroom for a while. [whispering] I think they had too much coffee. [normally] Now how about that coffee?
Squidward: No, I don't want- [Patrick grabs his nose and holds it, along with Squidward's head, upwards. He pours coffee into his mouth]
Patrick: Wow, Squidward, you really like coffee!
[The plane shakes, causing the coffee jug to land in Squidward's mouth.]
Pilot: Uh, folks, sorry about that turbulence.
SpongeBob: [a cabinet door opens and he is revealed to be inside it] Wow, Patrick! They made you a flight attendant?
Patrick: Yuh-huh! Hey, you wanna be one too?
SpongeBob: [cheers in excitement and comes out of the cabinet]
Patrick: [throws a hand towel into his mouth and chews it into a flight attendant hat. He puts the hat onto SpongeBob's head with his tongue. They both laugh until they hear Squidward mumbling]
SpongeBob: Ooh, our apologies, sir! Let's get you dried off, hm? [presses an air conditioner button]
[The air conditioner causes Squidward to spit out the coffee jug and eventually blow him and the seats away. Squidward appears to now be untangled from the seat.]
Squidward: [groans and shakes the coffee off his head] Huh? I'm free! I'm free!
SpongeBob: Snack time! [laughs while passing out snacks and moving the cart]
[Squidward tries to run the other way but Patrick is also passing out snacks while on the cart moving.]
Patrick: Whee!
Squidward: Oh, no...
[SpongeBob and Patrick crash into him. He is revealed to be trapped in the two carts]
Squidward: That's it! I am filing a complaint with the captain! [moves his head to a different drawer] Roll me to the front of the plane.
[SpongeBob and Patrick bring the carts to the captain quarters while Squidward is mumbling.]
Squidward: [stretches himself out of the cart and grumbles to the pilot door. He opens it]
Pilot: Arrrrrre you enjoying your flight?
Squidward: No, I am not! These two have been nothing but trouble since we took off! [camera cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob falls while Patrick scratches his butt] And now they've replaced the flight attendants!
Co-pilot: Uh, what did they do with them?
Patrick: [walking to an exit door] I just opened the bathroom door, captain. Like this! [opens the door, causing the two pilots to fly out. They "scream" until they pull parachutes in their pants]
Squidward: [looks inside the door and notices something] There's no one flying the plane! [screams, then looks around the cabin while panicking] What are we gonna do?!
Patrick: Oh, we're gonna crash.
Squidward: [walks to controls] Uh, I guess I can figure this out. How hard can it be? [grabs ahold of the throttle then looks at the rest of the controls. He shakes his head]
SpongeBob: Squidward, [rubbing his head] trust your instincts!
Squidward: I suppose, uh... [presses a button on the throttle]
[The plane starts flying downward, and SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick are screaming. A cloud reveals that Bora Bora Bottom is down below.]
SpongeBob: Look, Squidward! We're almost there! Now all you gotta do this land this thing!
Patrick: And not kill everyone!
[SpongeBob and Patrick are chanting Squidward's name while he presses random buttons, which causes the plane to crash on some flower clouds. Two flower clouds that resemble hands ties the plane into a knot. The plane spins itself and continues going downwards. SpongeBob and Patrick continue chanting Squidward's name while he tries to land. The plane brings out its wheels and eventually lands on the road to Bora Bora Bottom. Squidward screams until the plane stops. The camera pans out to a view of Bora Bora Bottom.]
SpongeBob: [while Patrick cheering] Whoo-hoo! Yay, Squidward!
Squidward: Huh? [while looking out the window] Bora Bora Bottom! [runs to put beach attire on. He squirts sunscreen on his nose, and grabs the speaker. He clears his throat] Uh, attention passengers, this is your new captain speaking. We have arrived at beautiful Bora Bora Bottom! Ha! [the plane starts moving backwards] Wha, huh? [notices Bora Bora Bottom fading away] Wait a minute! I thought I stopped this thing!
SpongeBob: [chuckles] Squidward, look! [the camera pans to an auto-pilot button, which is on] It was on auto-pilot the whole time.
Patrick: Yay, Squidward! You did nothing! [laughs a bit]
[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh as Squidward approaches the exit door on the plane.]
Squidward: No, no! [panics] I need to get off this plane and enjoy the resort!
SpongeBob: [opens the door] Now, why would you wanna do that? [laughs] You won a trip to see Bora Bora Bottom, not stay there, silly!
Patrick: And there it goes.
Squidward: Huh?
SpongeBob: Ah, life is funny, isn't it?
[The plane's fire engine is shown, a sign is shown for passengers to click their seatbelts on, and the plane starts flying upwards, causing Squidward to lose gravity and fall to the end of the plane. He crashes onto a door.]
Speaker: This is your flight attendant speaking. [the speaker forms into Patrick's mouth] Looks like we're experiencing some headwinds. And the present estimate for our return flight to Bikini Bottom is 24 hours! [the speaker then forms SpongeBob's mouth as both mouths begin to laugh]
Squidward: [panics and turns around to see Bora Bora Bottom, not shown, miles away] No!
[The plane files into a sunset, as the episode irises out.]