Mermaid Men and Barnacle Boys/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Mermaid Men and Barnacle Boys" from season 2, which aired on July 10, 2024.

[The episode opens with an open shot of two cabins. Snoring is heard.
Announcer: It's another peaceful morning in our fair Kamp Koral. [SpongeBob and Patrick are snoring in their beds] The kind that makes you oversleep, and miss Comic Book Day.
SpongeBob: [wakes up and gasps, yelling] Comic Book Day!
Patrick: [wakes up] Huh?
SpongeBob and Patrick: [break out of the cabin, screaming]
[At the general store, campers scream and run away with their comic books, right before SpongeBob and Patrick break through the walls.]
Elwood: [with his torn comic book] Oh. Uh, this-- This isn't fun. [cries]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [frantically turning the comic book stand and flipping through comic books]
SpongeBob: [holding a comic book] Oh, Gasper the Gregarious Ghost, [tosses comic away to reveal another one underneath] Lando the Land Lad, [tosses comic] Underwhoops? Only the dregs are left. [flings comic away]
Patrick: Aw, [angrily flips comic book stand] barnacles!
SpongeBob: [comic book stand stops, gasps and points] Look. [pulls out the last comic] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. We got the last one.
SpongeBob and Patrick: [excitedly] Yay!
Mr. Krabs: Yay, give me money! [SpongeBob gives him some money] And for the stuff you destroyed! [Patrick gives him a lot more cash, which he walks away with] Whee-hee! Yay!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [reading comic book] Ooh.
Announcer: [over action bubble] Read!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [turn the page] Ooh.
Announcer: [over large text] Page turn!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [excited] Oh!
Announcer: [over large text] Action!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [sweating and whimpering while reading]
Announcer: [over large text] Suspense!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ooh... [with funky glasses on]
Announcer: [over text that reads "..Revealing!.."] X-ray specs ad!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [turn the page]
Announcer: [over large text] More page turning!
SpongeBob and Patrick: Ah. Ooh? [gasp, cheer] Yeah!
Announcer: [over action bubble] Big finish!
Patrick: [collapses on the cabin floor with SpongeBob] Wow, that was amazing.
SpongeBob: [sighs] Yeah.
Patrick: I just wish it didn't have to end.
SpongeBob: [gasps, gets up] Maybe it doesn't have to.
Patrick: [gets up, snaps fingers] You thinking what I'm about to think?
[Both barge out of their cabin in Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy outfits, flipping before landing, now posing and dancing.]
SpongeBob: By the power of Neptune, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy unite! [his and Patrick's fists bump]
Announcer: [as SpongeBob leaps into the air onto some buildings in front of red skyscraper scenery and begins running across, followed by Patrick] Mermaid Man, fleet and forceful, aided by his young ward, protects the sea with his feats of strength and agility.
[The Frigate cabin members are working out. SpongeBob lands in front of them, followed by Patrick, who crushes SpongeBob. SpongeBob then jumps over him.]
Patrick: [rolls along] Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hip! [flops to a table and jumps on it, looking around]
SpongeBob: [thinking] Hmm. [points up] Barnacle Boy, look.
Patrick: [gasps, then the camera pans over to a wheel of cheese with robot legs] Leaping lampreys! The Stiltinous Stilton's cheesing the city!
[Stiltinous Stilton squirts cheese all over the town.]
Campers: [cheer]
Girl camper: Mmm.
Patrick: We've gotta fondue [bangs fists together] something, Mermaid Man.
SpongeBob: My hypothe-swiss is that this calls for the raging whirlpool!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [holler while running to the watchtower]
Perch: [sitting in the watchtower] Huh? [looking down as SpongeBob and Patrick run around the tower while yelling] Ooh. Hey, stop that! It's weird.
[In their imaginations, SpongeBob and Patrick are swimming in the whirlpool.]
SpongeBob: [swimming] Time to cut the cheese, Barnacle Boy.
Patrick: [laughing, holds a chainsaw] Okay! [laughs while circling around the tower with the chainsaw, cutting the wood]
Perch: [losing balance] Whoa!
[Stilton loses his balance in their imagination.]
Patrick: [points] It's working!
SpongeBob: We have a leg up on evil!
Stilton/Perch: Whoa! [falls over; in reality, the watchtower has collapsed]
Camper: [off-screen] Help, help!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [holding a hand up to their ears] Huh?
Camper: I forgot how to swim!
SpongeBob: Hmm.
Patrick: Sounds like trouble [bangs fists] down at the lake.
SpongeBob: To the invisible boatmobile!
SpongeBob and Patrick: [hop on the ground, pretend to put on their seat-belts, and begin scooting around while making motor noises by spitting]
Perch: [emerges from the rubble, injured and groans]
Camper: [flailing his arms in the water] Um, I could use some help here!
SpongeBob: [holds out arm] Have hope, citizen, for--
SpongeBob and Bubble Bass: [Bubble Bass has his arm out on the other side, in a boat with Kevin] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy shall save--
Camper: Oh, for Pete's sake. [sinks]
SpongeBob: Hey, your costumes are almost as good as ours. [wipes off dust]
Patrick: Ha! [slaps hands with SpongeBob] Good one.
Bubble Bass: Oh, please. Your feeble of peril is laughable.
Bubble Bass and Kevin: [laughing]
Patrick: [laughs with Bubble Bass and Kevin, puts his hand on his face]
SpongeBob: Um, you're laughing at us, chum.
Patrick: What? [he and SpongeBob look at each other, stammers] He ought to know!
SpongeBob: The real Mermaid Man would never laugh at anyone.
Bubble Bass: Then just what would you know about Mermaid Man, pray tell?
Camper: [gasping for air] Hey there, just a reminder. [shakes SpongeBob's body] Help! [sink again]
SpongeBob: I know we'd help that citizen. [points down, and both parties pull on the camper, which makes his skin rip off]
Camper: [now a skeleton] Thanks for nothing, super morons. [grumbles and wades away]
SpongeBob and Bubble Bass: [pressing face against each other] You're making Mermaid Man look bad! [each point to themselves] I'm the biggest Mermaid Man fan of all!
SpongeBob: Hmm. Interesting. Are you suggesting a contest to prove who's the best Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
Bubble Bass: I don't need a contest to know who's best. [his boat moves away] But you're on.
SpongeBob: [losing balance] Whoa, whoa! [faceplants on the water]
[A Batman-like transition with the faces of SpongeBob and Patrick in their costumes plays as the scene changes to the four, as well as Sandy, in front of the general store.]
Sandy: All righty, y'all. In order to figure out who's the best Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, I'm gonna put you to the test! I've set it up with camp master Krabs. Arch-villain [pulls cloak off of Elwood in a supervillain costume] the evil Dr. Fun--
Elwood: Fun!
Sandy: --is gonna rob the store. It's up to you to stop him!
Bubble Bass: Piece of cake.
Patrick: Cake? [runs to the store, but gets stopped by Sandy]
Sandy: Not so fast, hombre. You have to wait for the silent alarm.
Elwood: [enters the store]
Mr. Krabs: [snickering as Elwood walks up to the counter] Can I help you, not suspicious camper?
Elwood: [holds a stick]
Mr. Krabs: [laughs with his claws up] Oh, is this a stick-up?
Elwood: [nods]
Mr. Krabs: [laughs] Well, in that case, just let me press the [repeatedly presses button on cashier] silent alarm!
SpongeBob: [barges into the store with Patrick] Hold, foul villain! For--
Bubble Bass and Kevin: [kick SpongeBob and Patrick away]
Patrick: [yells]
SpongeBob: [groans]
Bubble Bass: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are here!
Patrick: [holding the gumball machine] We were already here! Chew on this! [uses the gumball machine to shoot several gumballs]
Bubble Bass and Kevin: [losing balance, fall over, then get back up with mugs]
Kevin: Here for your mug shots? [laughs while both throw mugs at Patrick]
Patrick: [dodges the mugs, except for the last one, which lands on his head] Help! I'm being mugged!
SpongeBob: [gets in front of Patrick with a mop, sweeping away the gumballs] Time to swap the decks! [uses the mop to deflect thrown mugs] Ha-ha! [twirls mop to catch several mugs] Here for your mug shots!
Kevin: We already used that joke.
SpongeBob: I know. It's a throwback! [throws mugs with the mop]
Bubble Bass and Kevin: [scream and duck, dodging the mugs; they jump out of the gumball pile with dishes]
Bubble Bass: You'll find we can dish it out as well as we can take it. [both begin throwing dishes, which crash off-screen]
Mr. Krabs: [whimpers while hiding behind the counter] All right, that's enough heroism for one day. [leaps from the counter]
Elwood: Mmm. [tosses his stick and walks away with the tip jar as the fighting continues]
Narrator: With the heroes fighting amongst themselves, the evil Dr. Fun. finds it easy to commit his crime. [Elwood is outside the store] Maybe too easy.
Elwood: This is fun! [cackles, then the antenna on his head starts sending out sound waves]
Clams: [caw and fly away to Elwood as they carry him into the sky]
Mr. Krabs: [tosses the superheroes out of the store] And stay out! [walks back inside]
All: [groan as they stop in front of Sandy]
Sandy: [writing on a clipboard] Well, y'all blew that one.
SpongeBob: [shrugs] Is there another challenge?
Sandy: Maybe. How do y'all feel about diffusing bombs?
Camper: [off-screen] Help!
[The superheroes jump into the air and out of the ball formation.]
SpongeBob and Bubble Bass: The city's in trouble!
Patrick and Kevin: [push aside Bubble Bass and SpongeBob] It looks like action calls!
SpongeBob and Bubble Bass: [go back into the middle] Ha-ha! And we shall answer!
All: [spitting to make engine noises as they scoot along the ground]
Campers: [running and screaming]
SpongeBob: [grabbing onto the camper] What's the trouble, citizen?
Pink camper: [shakes head] Sea bunnies. [points away] They got Larry!
[Pan over to Larry tied in duct tape, being rotated by hypnotized sea bunnies while above a pot.]
Patrick: Hopping horror show, Mermaid Man!
Green camper: [running away from sea bears alongside a girl] Sea bears!
Girl camper: [screams]
Green camper: [screams]
Kevin: Those things are huge!
Patrick: [points] That don't look good, either.
[Pan over to a hypnotized sea moose landing on top of the outhouse, destroying it.]
Sea moose: [roars]
Elwood: [on the sea moose, cackles; antenna activates again] This is really fun!
[Sea urchins come out from a rock and begin chasing after some campers.]
Campers: [scream and run away]
Bubble Bass: [points] It's the evil Dr. Fun!
SpongeBob: [as Sandy nervously approaches] Elwood has actual superpowers?
Sandy: Yeah. That would be my fault.
Bubble Bass: You made him a functional supervillain suit?
Sandy: It's not in my nature to do something less than 100%.
Bubble Bass: It's clear we need a plan.
Purple camper: [screams as clams hold onto him in the air]
All: [huddle up and whisper]
Bubble Bass: Then we're agreed.
All except Bubble Bass: [nod] Mm-hmm.
Sea moose: [comes by and destroys a cabin]
Bubble Bass: All right then. [screaming] Run away!
All: [run away screaming]
Elwood: [cackles as his antenna activates again]
Sea bears: [shaking a coral tree with two campers]
Sea bunny #1: [pushes Kevin over, laughs with another sea bunny]
Sea bunny 2: [pulls down Kevin's pants, both point and laugh]
Kevin: [tries to walk, but trips and falls down]
Sea bunnies: [laugh]
Mr. Krabs: [inside the general store] Time to use a privilege shared only by presidents, police commissioners, and camp masters. [presses an S.O.S. button on the register, making it swap out for a telephone; tosses away the display and the phone, then takes off the cover for a conch shell] The Mermaid Man conch signal! As seen on TV. [goes outside and blows the shell]
SpongeBob: The conch signal!
Announcer: [as a whirlpool descends from above] Mermaid Man, seaworthy and savvy, and his sidekick the ever-buoyant Barnacle Boy, [the heroes appear on their invisible boatmobile] come to save the day!
SpongeBob: [all cheer] Yay!
Barnacle Boy: What do you think, Mermaid Man?
Mermaid Man: Hmm. [looking down at the camp, where the word "FUN" is written everywhere] It would appear that a young camper was given more power than he could handle. One of your waterballs should remedy that, Barnacle Boy.
Barnacle Boy: [salutes] I'm on it! [twirls his hand around in a circular motion to create a waterball, which he throws at Elwood]
Elwood: [cackles as the waterball hits his antenna, which deactivates it]
Clams: [cawing, suddenly stop]
Elwood: Huh?
Sea bears: [no longer hypnotized]
Mermaid Man: Creatures of the sea, hear my plea. [puts his arms to his head to create sound waves] Return to the forest and frolic free.
Snails: [slither away off of Bubble Bass, meowing]
Snail: [licks Bubble Bass' face and slithers away]
Sea bunny: [pulls up Kevin's pants]
Kevin: Huh?
Sea bunnies: [hop away]
SpongeBob: [as the animals leave] Mermaid Man, how can we ever repay you?
Mermaid Man: By remembering that evil is never fun. [both buckle their seat belts] Oh, and if you're gonna imitate somebody, imitate your parents. They're the real heroes. [honks the boatmobile's horn and drives off, blasting away]
Sea moose: [slithers away, making Elwood fall to the ground]
Elwood: Whoa! [gets up] That was fun! [cackles, footage is paused]
[The supervillains are watching the footage on a TV.]
Narrator: Meanwhile, at E.V.I.L. headquarters.
Man Ray: Ooh, let's keep our eyes on this one. He has potential. [uses a remote to turn off the screen]