Krabsy the Klown/transcript

This article is a transcript of the Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years episode "Krabsy the Klown" from season 2, which aired on July 10, 2024.

[The episode begins at Pearl's birthday party. The kids are heard cheering and celebrating. Krabs walks through with a stack of gifts.]
Kids: [cheering]
Krabs: Looking good, campers!
SpongeBob: [walks on a pennant display between two posts, laughs]
Krabs: SpongeBob! Get down from there! Oh! [laughs]
Pearl: [crying]
Krabs: [walks to Pearl] Hey, so, is me little Pearly-girly having the best business expense-- I mean, birthday ever?
Pearl: [smacks the gifts away] No! I want clown!
Krabs: Clown? What about the [shows Elwood and a bunch of anchovies riding a spinning ride] carnival rides?
Anchovies: [meeping]
Elwood: Yay!
Krabs: [off-screen] And the pinaters?
[Sandy is on a seahorse, blindfolded. She swings a bat and hits a pinata.]
Sandy: Yippee!
[The pinata crashes off-screen and a glass shattering sound is heard. She and the other kids look worried.]
Sandy: [lifts up her blindfold, grimaces] Oh...
Krabs: And the sword swallower? [pan to Plankton]
Plankton: Yeah. So, [points to a giant sword next to him] I'm actually having second thoughts about that.
Pearl: [crying]
Krabs: [rocks Pearl] Oh, don't worry, little cuppity-cake. [Pearl stops crying, he pats her on the back] The clown I hired is on his way. [more serious] He better be, 'cause I already paid him!
[Cut to Fin the Clown standing in the forest, looking at a paper and holding a briefcase.]
Fin the Clown: Am I in the right place? [looks at it, laughs] Oh. [flips the paper] I had the address upside-down.
[A giant jellyfish monster is above him, and he looks up. Cut to Krabs looking for Fin as Pearl keeps crying. Mrs. Puff walks up.]
Mrs. Puff: Oh, for the love of Neptune.
[Krabs takes out a pocket watch and checks it.]
Mrs. Puff: You be the clown!
Krabs: [gasps]
SpongeBob: [yells, falls on the ground face-first, then jumps up] Hey! [grabs onto Krabs] That's a great idea! [jumps between his eyestalks] You'd be the clowniest clown ever![springs between them and grabs him again]
Krabs: [blinks, screams, and runs away, knocking over the party guests]
Kids: [yelling, then shrugging]
Krabs: [cries, runs away, over a hill, paddles across the lake, squeezes through his cabin window, runs into a storage room in the back, sighs]
SpongeBob: [comes out of a box] What's wrong, Camp Master Krabs?
Krabs: [sees SpongeBob and screams, sits down sadly] Oh, SpongeBob. Me daughter needs a clown, and I'm failing her! [reaches into a box labeled "Eugene's Failures + Dishware", pulls out a storybook as other dishware comes out of the box] Like I failed all those years ago.
SpongeBob: [reading the book title] "Krabsy! The Kooky Klown?"
Krabs: Make yourself comfortable, boyo, [opens book, SpongeBob sits in front of it] and hear me sad clown tale.
[The first illustration shows a younger Krabs with braces and a whoopee cap.]
Krabs: It was a carefree time in me life, [pan to an illustration of Krabs looking at dice with a magnifying glass] right after I had left me job as a dice inspector. [flips page to show an illustration of him in a clown outfit, posing in front of a mirror] I was a clown! And a darn good one, too! [pan to an illustration of him juggling kids as an audience cheers] It was in me blood! Birthdays, [pan to an illustration of him in a barrel throwing a pie at a sea cow], rodeos, [pan to an illustration of him posing under a spotlight as flowers are thrown] I was an icon! [he is seen reading the book to SpongeBob] I had them eating out of me [snaps claws, SpongeBob looks impressed] claws!
SpongeBob: Wow!
[An illustration shows Krabs juggling pies and swords on a unicycle on top of a stage.]
Krabs: Nothing could stop me! [pan down to an illustration of him taking a bow as flowers are thrown] So for me finale, I decided [pan to illustrations of Krabs inhaling to blow up balloons, then inflating them into balloon animals] I'd make [flips page to a spread of him having made a giant balloon dog out of smaller balloon animals] the Mega Menagerie. I was going gangbusters! [flips page, spread of him putting a balloon animal in] Until I put the last balloon in...
[He flips the page and a fire comes out of the book, to SpongeBob's horror.]
SpongeBob: [worried noises]
Krabs: [shuts book] After the last ambulance left, I hung up me red nose. Forever. [throws away book] But now, [eyes sparkle] seeing little Pearly's big sad eyes, [SpongeBob looks sad] I'm all conflicted!
SpongeBob: You can do this, Camp Master Krabs! You've gotta do it! For Pearl!
Krabs: You're right, lad! I gotta do it [takes out crowbar] for me sweet baby girl! [pulls a box over] Now to break out the old clown costume...
[He pries the box open and a yellow light shines from it.]
Krabs: [gasps]
SpongeBob: Ooh...
[Confetti splatters from the box onto Krabs and SpongeBob. Bubble transition to Mrs. Puff comforting Pearl.]
Pearl: [crying]
Mrs. Puff: Shh, shh. It's okay, Pearl.
[The party guests jump as something passes their feet.]
Guest #1: Oh!
Guest #2: Ah!
Guest #3: What's going on?
Guest #4: What the?
[A tiny clown car is seen driving.]
Guests: Oh! / Whoa!
[Two clown shoes come out of the clown car. Mr. Krabs jumps out in a clown outfit with a burst of confetti.]
Krabs: Hey, there, kiddies! [does a shuffling dance] It's Krabsy the Klown time!
Guests: Oh! / Look at-!
[Krabs pokes Pearl and does a cartwheel.]
Krabs: I found the birthday baby! [backflips over Mrs. Puff and stands up] Ta-da! Me birthday girly.
Pearl: [claps] Ah! Dada clown!
Krabs: [reaches behind Pearl] What's this back here? [takes out a cupcake, gasps] A birthday cupcake? [the candle on the cupcake burns out and it explodes into confetti]
Pearl: [clapping] Yay!
Krabs: [jumps to a girl camper] Hello, [leans over to show his hat with a flower in it] how about a whiff of me beautiful flower?
Kid: [sniffs flower, then gets sprayed with water] Whoa!
[She falls onto a few other guests, who then laugh and clap.]
Krabs: [rides on a ball while juggling rubber ducks, laughs]
Guests: Yay!
Krabs: Uh oh, what am I gonna do with [takes out a tall stack of pies behind his back] all these pies?
Guests: Whoa!
Patrick: I'll take them! [a pie hits his face, then multiple]
Guests: [laughing]
[Patrick eats the pies whole, including the tins. He rips off his shirt sleeves and hollers, then runs away.]
Krabs: [does a standing ovation as Pearl claps]
Mrs. Puff: [hands Pearl to Krabs]
Pearl: Love dada clown!
[Krabs hugs Pearl.]
Guests: Awww...
SpongeBob: I knew you could do it! You're a big hit, Camp Master Krabs!
Krabs: You were right, lad! That was some [tickles Pearl] A+ clownery, if I do say so meself! And I do!
Pearl: [takes off Krabs' red nose, laughs]
SpongeBob and Krabs: [laughing]
[Bubble transition to Krabs' office at night. He is sleeping in his hammock. He hears a clown honking noise.]
Krabs: [wakes up] Huh? Who was that? [blinks, looks around, and sees nothing] Hm. [shrugs, falls back asleep, snores; he hears the honk again and opens an eye] Huh?
[The red nose from his clown costume glows. Krabs is drawn to it. He looks at it as it honks. He smiles ominously. Maniacal laughing is heard as the horn honks and the camera staggers. A transition happens from night to day, and Krabs comes up in his clown outfit again.]
Krabs: It's Krabsy the Klown time!
[He takes out a bucket from his hat, juggles both, and splashes confetti from the bucket onto the girl he pranked with his squirting flower earlier.]
Girl: [coughs, laughs, coughs again]
[Krabs passes by SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy sitting outside. He throws pies at each of them. Patrick eats the pies, then licks them off SpongeBob and Sandy. Mrs. Puff is seen humming while hanging laundry on a clothesline.]
Mrs. Puff: [reaches into basket and pulls out handkerchiefs] Huh? [pulls them further] Oh, oh, ohhh? [Krabs' mouth is attached to the other end, Mrs. Puff yelps]
Krabs: [poses] Ha hey! [laughs]
Mrs. Puff: [gasps] Oh! Krabsy? You scamp... [laughs]
[Krabs shuffles away on the clothesline, knocking a sock down. A transition goes from day, to night, to day. Patrick is sleeping in his cabin.]
Patrick: [snoring]
[A party horn blows.]
Patrick: [gasps, falls into a pie]
Krabs: It's Krabsy the Klown time!
[SpongeBob and Patrick are unamused. Cut to Craig, Mo, and Larry lifting weights, looking bored. Krabs throws pies at all of them and their expressions do not change.]
Larry: [grumbles, gets angry]
[SpongeBob and Sandy are eating, looking bored. Krabs throws confetti on them. They continue eating. Mrs. Puff is pulling out handkercheifs again.]
Mrs. Puff: [pulls out Krabs] Aah!
Krabs: [honks nose, poses and laughs]
Mrs. Puff: [takes out bat] Krabsy! [swings it at him, he runs on the clothesline and knocks clothes down, Mrs. Puff shakes her fist] You'd better scamper!
[Cut to Plankton walking.]
Plankton: Dum da dum dum, just minding my own business.
[A clown shoe appears behind Plankton.]
Plankton: [humming, looks behind him] Huh? Huh? [the shoe disappears] Hm.
[The shoe resurfaces. Plankton runs even faster. It squashes him.]
Krabs: [shuffling] It's Krabsy the Klown time!
Plankton: Stupid shoes!
[The day and night cycle repeatedly shifts.]
Krabs: [overlapping] It's Krabsy the Klown time! It's Krabsy the Klown time! [high pitched] It's Krabsy the Klown time! [low pitched] It's Krabsy the Klown time!
[It stops at night, where many unhappy campers have gathered in the Dinghy cabin.]
Camper: He needs to be stopped!
Anchovies: Meep meep!
Larry: This clowning is out of control!
Anchovies: [meeping in agreement]
Patrick: He ruined me! [takes out pie] This is the only way I can eat pie now! [shoves it in his face] I'm a monster! [shoves it in his face again and runs off crying]
Pearl: Clown dada doo-doo!
Camper #2: [raises fist] Yeah!
[He and Pearl cower as a screeching sound is heard. SpongeBob is scraping his nails on a chalkboard to cross out a picture of Krabsy.]
SpongeBob: You all know me. I love a good clown. This, though, is a good clown gone bad. [turns around] I have a plan! A plan to get rid of Krabsy the Klown... [turns around, dramatic close-up] once and for all.
Campers: Yeah! / Get him!
[Transition from night to day.]
Krabs: It's Krabsy the Klown time! [shuffles, juggles his hat and a bucket, splashes the confetti from the bucket but it lands nowhere] Hey! Huh... huh? [holds two pies at a table, nobody is there] Hey, kids! [cup falls over] Huh?
[The canteen tables is empty. A tumbleweed blows past. Krabs throws pies at where Larry, Craig, and Mo were and they splat against the cabin. He blows a party horn at Patrick's bed, but he's not there. At sunrise, he jumps out of the laundry basket, and does not see anyone.]
Krabs: [looks out behind cabin] Hello? [stands on cabin] Yoo-hoo? [leans in front of camera upside-down] Where is everybody?
Campers: [off-screen] Krabsy! Krabsy! Krabsy! [laughing]
Krabs: Ooh! What?
[He shows up at the source of the sound, which is a bubble radio.]
Krabs: Hey there, kiddos! I--
[The bubble pops and Krabs is standing on a stage, with a "Krabsy!" banner above him.]
Krabs: Huh?
[An entire crowd of unhappy campers and counselors faces him.]
SpongeBob: Hello, Krabsy.
Krabs: Eh... ta-da! [shuffles] It's Krabsy the Klown--
SpongeBob: Yes, we know all about that. That's what we were worried about.
Mrs. Puff: Because as much as we've enjoyed your [clasps hands] lowbrow shenanigans... [waves hand] we feel we need something more...
Patrick: Yeah, clown! [shoves a pie in his face and licks it, dramatic close-up on his face] We need more.
Plankton: [still squashed] Something without shoes!
SpongeBob: So, Krabsy... if you're down to clown... how about a... balloon animal?
Krabs: [yelps, sweats] Uh... maybe later. Uh, how about I--
Pearl: Bawoon, Daddy! Want bawoons!
SpongeBob: [slides next to Pearl] And not just any balloon animal. [puts hand to mouth] Pearl wants... [intense close-up on his face] the Mega Menagerie.
Krabs: [sweating] M-M-M-Menagerie?
[Close-ups on Mrs. Puff, some kids, and Pearl looking angry. Pearl beats her fist into her palm.]
Krabs: Uh, I, uh-- how about-- [takes out a balloon and blows it, turns it into a dog] A doggy!
Campers: [cheering]
Krabs: [inflates another balloon and ties it] Another doggy! But blue!
Campers: [cheering]
Sandy: How about an armadillo?
Bubble Bass: A dragon!
Plankton: [lifted up by a camper] Don't forget an electric eel!
[Krabs takes out more balloons and makes more balloon animals.]
Mrs. Puff: [off-screen] Raccoon!
Larry: [off-screen] Giraffe!
Patrick: [off-screen] A Patrick!
Campers: [chattering]
[The stack of balloon animals grows so big that it towers over the campers. It forms the Mega Menagerie, a giant balloon animal in the shape of a balloon dog. An elephant trumpeting is heard. Krabs is exhausted.]
Pearl: [waving] Wadybug, dada! Want wadybug!
Krabs: Oh... alright. For me Pearly girl. [inflates balloons, ties it into a ladybug, sticks it into the Mega Menagerie] The Mega Menagerie!
[Shot of it. The campers gasp.]
Krabs: [tearing up] I can't believe I did it!
[The Mega Menagerie starts pulsing.]
Camper: Oh, no! It's gonna blow!
[Everyone runs away, except Krabs.]
Krabs: It's beautiful! And it didn't even explode!
[The Mega Menagerie explodes into a rainbow-colored atomic cloud. Confetti rains down and Krabs is injured. The campers pop out from the logs they watched from.]
Campers: Oh...
Plankton: Ha! [stands on log] The shoe's on the other foot now, clown! [laughs, gets crushed by a shoe]
[Bubble transition to the nurse's office. Krabs is hospitalized and Pearl sits on him. Mrs. Puff, Patrick, SpongeBob, and Sandy are there.]
Krabs: I want to thank you all for stopping me. I was becoming a menace to society.
Pearl: [takes off his bandaged clown nose] No clown, Dada!
Krabs: Ow! That's right, Pearly. I realized me clowning got way out of hand, and I've hung up me red nose forever.
Mrs. Puff: [takes Pearl] Come along, children. [they leave] The camp master needs his rest.
[Fin the Clown is standing behind them.]
Fin the Clown: Oh. A hospital gig? [drops paper] Hey, there, little guy. [goes up to Krabs, who is horrified] Say, what's your favorite balloon animal? [looks at the audience, raises eyebrows]
[Cut to a shot of the nurse's office.]
Krabs: [off-screen, scared] Clown!