Goofy Scoopers/transcript

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Goofy Scoopers" from season 13, which aired on February 25, 2022.

[The episode begins with an exterior shot of Goofy Goober's at night. SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting inside at a table, facing a stage, as Goofy Goober walks past.]
[the camera goes to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are sitting on chairs in the bar.]
SpongeBob: [waves] Hey, could we get another Triple Gooberberry Sunrise over here? [points to himself]
Patrick: [leans forward and waves] And don't you skimp up the triple!
[The Goofy Manager walks up to SpongeBob and Patrick, holding the ice cream.]
Goofy Manager: Here you...
[The lights go dark, and a spotlight shines on the stage. SpongeBob and Patrick cheer]
SpongeBob and Patrick: It's starting!
[The ice cream falls on the manager. Patrick eats the ice cream off the manager's head.]
SpongeBob: [laughs and cheers]
Patrick: I'll take another one, this time with less manager.
[The manager shudders in anger.]
Goofy Goober VA: Attention, children of all ages!
[Cue a close-up of a stage, as the spotlight moves around. SpongeBob and Patrick rock back and forth in excitement, while the other kids look bored.]
SpongeBob: Hello, hi!
Patrick: Hey, that's me!
SpongeBob: I love you, I love you!
Patrick: [laughs] All ages, yay!
[The curtains open to reveal three limp-looking robots: a green octopus at a piano, a bear at a set of drums with a "GS" logo, and a bipedal clam wearing sunglasses.]
Goofy Goober VA: Put your fins together for the cool cat on the drum kit, Bongos Bear!
[Bongos beats the drums, then a cymbal, then hits himself on the head.]
Goofy Goober VA: On trumpet, this bivalve really swings. Clem Clam!
[Clem plays the trumpet, then takes off his sunglasses and winks.]
Goofy Goober VA: You know him, you love him. Eight tentacles on eighty-eight keys. It's Rock T. Puss!
[Rock plays the 88-key piano, sometimes stopping and spinning his head rapidly.]
Goofy Goober VA: That's our combo! Give it up for The Goofy Scoopers!
[The curtains in back part, revealing a "Goofy Scoopers" logo. Rock begins singing as Bongos and Clem play their instruments.
Rock: [singing] ♪A one and two and three and four, I need more scoops, ice cream galore, or I'll banana split right out that door. Don't you know, I'm doing the Goober Rag!♪
[SpongeBob and Patrick cheer for Rock. SpongeBob wears "GG"-shaped glasses and sticks his tongue out, and Patrick wears a "GG" shirt. The rest of the kids look bored.]
SpongeBob: [ululating] I love you!
Patrick: [throws his pants at Rock's face] I love you, Rock T. Puss!
Rock: [singing] ♪Oh, five and six and seven and eight, finish my ice cream, licking my plate!♪
[Two kids are seen sitting at a table, looking bored. One falls over sideways, and the other collapses into her ice cream.]
Rock: [singing] ♪Another fudge sundae sure sounds great!♪
[A girl is seen reading a book called Taxes 4 Kids!, while a boy watches an hourglass.]
Rock: [singing] ♪And that is how I do that Goober Rag!♪
[Another girl has a sleep mask on and has fallen asleep, while another boy relaxes with headphones on. A fat kid fish shoves ice cream bowls into his ears. SpongeBob and Patrick stomp their feet as the rest of the kids get annoyed and leave the restaurant.]
Rock: [singing] ♪Nine and ten and eleven and twelve, get the rum raisin off that shelf! I'll eat the whole tub all on my own, and I don't even need a cone! Don't you know, that's how? Can't you see, I'm doing it now? I'm coming, I'm going, I'm doing the Goober Rag!♪
[The robots short-circuit with a burst of smoke, and shut down. The lights go off and the curtains close.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [cheering] Alright! / Woo! / Yeah, yeah!
[The Goofy Manager walks up to them.]
Goofy Manager: All right, boys, time to go.
Patrick: You can't kick us out. We've been coming here since we were [throws table] kids!
SpongeBob: Yeah, we're the Goofy Scoopers' biggest fans!
Goofy Manager: [throws his hands up] Well, that's your problem. [points to his watch] Closing time!
[SpongeBob and Patrick begin crying and grab onto the manager's feet.]
Goofy Manager: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here!
[SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked out of the restaurant.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoa!
Patrick: This stinks. I wanted to go backstage for an autograph.
[Patrick turns around, revealing some text written on the back of his head: signatures from SpongeBob and Sandy, blue writing that says "Mom xoxo," small green text that says "Plankton wuz here," and a parking ticket with a $30.00 charge.]
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick. We'll just come back and see the Goofy Scoopers tomorrow!
[Close-up of Patrick's face, where "Zee French Narrator" is written on his head and eyelids. A rooster crows as a time card is shown.]
French Narrator: Zee next morning...
[The Goofy Manager is in front of Goofy Goober's, looking through some keys on a ring.]
SpongeBob: [leaning in] Good morning!
Goofy Manager: [screams, scared] I don't carry cash! [freezes, then opens his eyes] Huh?
[SpongeBob and Patrick are wearing peanut sleeping bags, in front of a tent and burnt-out campfire.]
Goofy Manager: [disappointed] It's you two.
Patrick: We camped out all night to see the Gooey Sneakers.
SpongeBob: Goofy Scoopers. [steps out of sleeping bag]
Patrick: Yeah, them! [pokes head, making a hollow sound] They're gonna write on my head!
Goofy Manager: [sneaky] Well... about that...
[SpongeBob and the manager go inside. Patrick doesn't move, and SpongeBob drags him and his sleeping bag inside.]
Goofy Manager: The Goofy Scoopers are over. Too old fashioned. The kids want a new sound.
SpongeBob and Patrick: A new sound!?
Goofy Manager: [gestures to stage] That's right, I brought in an act you're going to flip over!
[The curtains open, revealing a robot of an ice cream cone wearing sunglasses, headphones, and a backwards cap. He stands at a stereo with a laptop on it and an insignia with two ice cream cones, labeled "2" and "S", on the side.]
Goofy Manager: Say hello to... DJ 2 Sc00pz!
[DJ 2 Sc00pz presses a button on his laptop. The background behind the stage shows a techno tunnel as EDM music plays. Kids run up and start dancing.]
SpongeBob: [covering his ears] Sorry, but the Goofy Scoopers are the only ice cream themed musical robot act [folds his arms] we'll ever love.
[SpongeBob opens his eyes to see Patrick dancing to DJ 2 Sc00pz's music.
Patrick: [rhythmic grunting]
SpongeBob: Patrick, don't give in to its seductive [imitates a robot] womp-womps and wub-wubs. Please, Mr. Manager, you have to tell us where the Scoopers are! [a thought bubble appears, growing and changing with each location listed] Are they playing at a coffee house? Are they playing the Bikini Bottom Bowl? Or on a world tour?
Goofy Manager: No! [waves the thought bubble away] Oh, my, no. [points behind him] I threw those old robots in the garbage. They're never playing anywhere again.
[SpongeBob and Patrick cry, and the kids dance next to them instead. A kid slides on his stomach through a puddle of their tears.]
Goofy Manager: [grabs a broom] All right, you're killing the atmosphere in here. Please do all your crying outside.
[The manager pushes the crying SpongeBob and Patrick through the back door, next to the dumpsters.]
SpongeBob: [stops crying] Wait a minute, Patrick. I have a plan! We can stop crying.
Patrick: Well, I wasn't crying. I was just... [his head has a handle on it, which he flushes] flushing my eyes.
[Patrick's tears drain out of his eyes and pour into his mouth.]
Patrick: You were saying?
SpongeBob: We are gonna get the Goofy Scoopers back together for a reunion show. [paces around] Then everyone will remember how great they were.
[SpongeBob starts pacing around the edges of the screen. Patrick elongates his neck to follow him.]
Patrick: But we don't know where they are.
SpongeBob: True, but we do know how they got to where they were... [steps to garbage] before they went wherever they are!
[Patrick's stretched neck snaps back to his body. SpongeBob gestures to the dumpster and two bags of trash outside.]
SpongeBob: Hmm? Hmm? [grins at Patrick] Ah!
Patrick: I'm confused, but I appreciate your confidence. Count me in! [head slides backwards and falls off] Ow!
[Cut to a time card.]
French Narrator: Later...
[A garbage truck pulls up to a box and a trash bag with a cone on it. The garbage fish shrugs and picks up the box, but the truck drives off.]
Garbage man: Huh?
SpongeBob: [driving away] Sorry about borrowing your truck!
[Patrick sticks his head out through the window, with his tongue out.]
SpongeBob: We have to save some robots from the trash so our favorite band can get back together! I'm sure you understand!
Garbage man: [shrugs] Eh, that sounds reasonable.
[Bubble transition to the Dump. The garbage truck is crashed outside. SpongeBob and Patrick are searching through a pile of junk.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: [grunting]
[A man runs up to them and yells.]
Dump worker: Hey, what you boys doing to my precious junk?
SpongeBob: Sorry, sir. I was just looking for some robot musicians!
Patrick: And I was looking for food. [pulls out an old boot in a diaper] You gonna eat this hot dog? [gets pushed away by trash]
Dump worker: Well, I don't know nothing about music-men, but I do remember one [points] robot fella coming through here. Nice guy. [points behind him] Sold him to the circus for about $3.50.
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's our first clue! We gotta get to the circus! [steps off-screen]
[Patrick emerges from a pile of trash, holding the diaper and some glue.]
Patrick: Great, 'cause I just found the mayo!
[He pours the glue on the diaper and eats it, then runs off. Filthy Muck walks by, but gets scared away by the dump worker, who chases him.]
Dump worker: Hey, what are you doing in my precious junkyard?
[SpongeBob and Patrick run to the circus, look around a bit, and SpongeBob points at Clem.]
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's Clem Clam!
Patrick: [pounds his fists] Let's get him!
SpongeBob: W-w-wait, Patrick. We're here to make friends with him, don't you remember?
Patrick: Obviously, I do not.
SpongeBob: [rubbing his chin] How are we gonna get him to play the show? [gets an idea] I got it! We'll appeal to his intellect with sound reasoning and convincing arguments!
'[SpongeBob and Patrick grovel and beg in front of Clem, who is inflating balloons.]
SpongeBob: [crying] Please!
Patrick: [crying] We need you!
SpongeBob: [crying] You gotta come back, you just gotta!
Clem: [ties balloon] You can cool it, cats. Whatever your scheme is, I'm in. [gives balloon to SpongeBob] Just get me out of this crazy circus. I'm terrified of clowns, man.
[A circus tent opens, revealing a clown with a yellow eyes and an evil smile, as honking and evil laughter is heard. Clem shudders.]
SpongeBob: Well, that's great, Mr. Clem Clam, because tomorrow night, [puts his hand around Patrick] we're getting the band back together. Reunion show tomorrow night at Goofy Goober's. So far, you're the only one we've found, though.
Clem: You know, the circus's least flexible contortionist saw Bongos Bear [points right] at that massage place downtown, man.
[A fish with an arched back walks past.]
Contortionist: It's true -- ow...
SpongeBob: Great! Come on, Patrick. I feel another plan forming.
[They skip off together, laughing.]
Clem: Wait, take me with you, man!
[The clown appears behind an oxygen tank and pops a balloon, causing Clem to jump.]
Clown: [evil laughter]
Clem: Aah!
[The clown leaves, accompanied by honking.]
Clem: [dismayed] Ugh...
[Cut to the outside of a massage parlor. Inside, Bongos stands at two tables. SpongeBob enters, dressed like a man with a mustache, hair, and green suit. Patrick accompanies him, wearing a blouse, pearls, and lipstick.]
SpongeBob: [disguising voice] Uh, yes, my wife and I are here for the [raises eyebrows] couples massage.
Patrick: [womanly giggling]
SpongeBob: [disguising voice] Say... aren't you Bongos Bear from the Goofy Scoopers?
Bongos: Son, you got the wrong robot bear. I don't even like music. I just give massages.
Patrick: [womanly voice] Don't forget to work my glutes!
[Bongos shudders. SpongeBob and Patrick jump onto the tables. Bongos hits them, creating a rhythm, as SpongeBob and Patrick begin grunting. A bongo rhythm plays.]
Bongos: All right, all right, you win! [takes out xylophone mallets and keeps playing] I am Bongos Bear. And I got music in my cold, robotic heart.
SpongeBob and Patrick: [disguises rip off] Yay!
SpongeBob: Well, you're in luck, 'cause Patrick and I are getting your band back together.
Patrick: Yeah, but we still gotta find the piano octopus.
Bongos: [shrugs] Oh, that's easy. A construction worker with [points to his back] lumbago told me Rock is working on the bridge to Shell City now.
[A construction worker, leaned over and holding his back, walks past.]
Construction worker: It's true -- ow...
[Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick walking on a green, mechanical bridge. Drivers swerve to avoid them.]
Patrick: [calling] Rock?
SpongeBob: [calling] Rock T. Puss?
Patrick: [calling] Rock T. Puss?
SpongeBob: [calling] Rock T. Puss? Rock T. Puuuss?
Patrick: [calling] Where are you?
[Patrick kicks a rock, dodging a scared Fred, who drives past.]
Patrick: This stinks. Bongos lied. I don't see him anywhere!
[Patrick sulks. A green hand holding the bridge comes loose and slaps him.]
Patrick: Hey!
[An upwards shot reveals that the hand belongs to Rock, who is part of the bridge.]
Rock: Get out of here. I'm on the job.
SpongeBob: [excited] Rock T. Puss! [puts his hand around Patrick] We're SpongeBob and Patrick! [shakes himself and Patrick] We're your biggest fans!
Rock: Yeah, right. No one remembers my music.
Patrick: That's okay. I don't remember anything! [his pupils drift apart]
Rock: Look, kids, I'm a working robot now. The only bands I care about are the boats on this bridge. Their honking horns are the only applause I'll ever need again!
[A strange noise is heard.]
SpongeBob: Umm...
[Patrick rubs his stomach.]
Patrick: Oh, that was me. Sorry, I blame the hot dog.
SpongeBob: Oh, please, Mr. Puss. We're getting the Goofy Scoopers back together for a reunion show. We need you.
Rock: The answer is no! I'm a bridge now. [points left] Get out of here!
[SpongeBob and Patrick sadly whimper and walk away. Cut to the outside of Goofy Goober's, where many people have gathered outside. The camera zooms into an elevated stage at the front of the restaurant, where Patrick adjusts a microphone and SpongeBob plugs in a speaker. Clem and Bongos walk in.]
Clem: Hey, guys. Where's Rock?
Patrick: Oh, he's not coming.
Bongos: [bolts and screws fly out of him] Wha? Oh, I don't know if we can do this without Rock T. Puss.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, we'll be playing with ya! It'll be fun!
[Patrick takes some sheet music out of his pants.]
Patrick: Here's the new piece I wrote. We're gonna come in hot off the intro, so try to keep up.
[Clem takes the music, him and Bongos looking worried.]
Bongos: Huh...
[The lights go on. SpongeBob is seen strumming an electric guitar as loud feedback plays. Bongos gets ready at his drum set and plays rapidly. SpongeBob and Patrick come in, dressed like KISS members, as Patrick takes the microphone. Heavy rock music plays.]
Patrick: [singing rapidly] Ice cream, so tasty, freezing in my mouth!
[Rapid shots show the Goofy Scoopers struggling to keep up, Patrick singing intensely, and SpongeBob licking his guitar in front of a fire backdrop.]
Patrick: [singing rapidly] Icy pain inside my brain, won't you help me out!? I have a brain freeze, I have a brain freeze, I have a brain freeze, help me with my brain freeze!
[The song stops abruptly.]
Patrick: [calmly] Can I have another sundae, please?
[The audience boos and throws tomatoes.]
Clem: They are not digging it, man.
Patrick: We told you guys to keep up!
[Something catches their attention. They walk to the stage and look down, as the crowd parts. Rock walks through the crowd, and extends his body to reach the stage.]
Bongos: [laughs] Rock T. Puss, you came!
Rock: Sorry I left you hanging, guys. I did like being a bridge, but I was built to make music!
SpongeBob: Say, how is the bridge?
Rock: [shrugs] Eh, I'm sure its fine.
[Cut to the bridge, which has a big hole in the middle. Drivers scream and fall in, and then the bridge collapses, leading to a large explosion.]
Rock: Now, let's rock!
Bongos, Clem, SpongeBob, and Patrick: Yeah!
[Rock plays the piano, Bongos beats some drums, and Clem plays the trumpet. Rock slides his hand across the piano. The band plays "Goober Rag" as SpongeBob and Patrick dance and laugh.]
[The crowd boos and throws tomatoes again.]
SpongeBob: The kids still don't like it! What do we [squeezes himself] do?
[A hand grabs a tomato. It belongs to DJ 2 Sc00pz.]
SpongeBob: Huh?
DJ 2 Sc00pz: Maybe I can help with that. I'm DJ 2 Sc00pz, and I'm a huge Goofy Scoopers fan. [lowers his sunglasses] Care to jam?
[Rock slides his hand across the piano, leaving the keys he presses rainbow-colored. SpongeBob and Patrick stare in awe as DJ 2 Sc00pz plays an EDM remix of "Goober Rag" with the Goofy Scoopers. The characters are flat-colored, and the backgrounds change color.]
[Sequential close-ups show DJ 2 Sc00pz playing, SpongeBob and Patrick dancing, Bongos playing the drums, Clem on the trumpet, and Rock playing piano.]
[A zoom-out shows the Goofy Goober building with multicolored lights shining from it. The audience cheers loudly. The clown, construction worker, dump worker, contortionist, and Goofy Manager are seen dancing along. SpongeBob and Patrick crawl into the crowd and jump into the air.]
[Sequential close-ups show SpongeBob and Patrick jumping, smiling at each other, and dancing up and down. The Goofy Manager, sucking on a pacifier, waves his finger to the music. SpongeBob and Patrick press against him, to his surprise.]
[SpongeBob and Patrick dance in the audience, as Goofy Goober spins past, waving glowsticks.]
[The restaurant itself begins moving and drives off into the distance, as fireworks explode in the air.]
SpongeBob and Patrick: Best Goofy Scoopers show ever!
[They jump into the air and high-five, as the rest of the crowd walks away. The camera zooms in on Patrick's head, which has "The End" written on it. The screen cuts to this same text written in white against a black background.]