4th of July Safety Tips is a PSA about the 4th of July.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Blue Team[]
Synopsis[]
Church , Donut, and Caboose present various fireworks safety tips for the 4th Of July. As the scenes progress, Caboose commonly has mistaken a grenade for another object related to fireworks, leading to a large explosion. The safety tips culminate in Caboose accidentally shooting Donut with a bottle rocket, played by Sheila. At the end, Caboose plants a grenade in Church's lower armor, causing Church to growl at Caboose, who then says "Simmons did it!" Simmons then yells "What are you talking about? I wasn't even in this video!"
Transcript[]
Church in the middle in white, Caboose on the right in blue.
Church: Hi everybody. I'm Private Church from the popular web-series Red vs. Blu-
Donut enters on the left in pink.
Church: Hey Donut, what're you doing, man? You're supposed to be wearing your old red armor, so that we can be red white and blue. This isn't very patriotic.
Donut: I'm being patriotic. In my own way.
Church: Alright, let's just start over-
Caboose: Hello everyone! I am Private Church from the popular web-series Red Vs. Blue.
Church: Caboose, that's my line.
Caboose: You can't prove that.
Church: As you probably know already, this weekend we celebrate July 4th. Or as it's know in Mexico "Cinqo de Maio."
Caboose: Many of you may take this opportunity to enjoy your wiener.
Donut: I know I will!
Church: But the real reason we celebrate the Fourth of July isn't for the food or the fun, or even the picnics with the non-stop binge drinking.
Donut: What?
Church: There's only one sure reason we celebrate the Fourth of July. To have a lot of explosions.
Caboose: Yay, it's fireworks day!
Donut: Kick ass! I've still got three fingers left from last year!
Church: In preparation for the big day, we've assembled a short list of safety tips that will hopefully make your holiday explosions safe, and enjoyable for the whole family.
Donut and Caboose run off screen.
Church: Let's watch as Caboose and Donut, demonstrate some common mistakes to avoid, when handling fireworks.
Cut to a black screen, reading: Safety Tip #1 Never Play with Fireworks Indoors.
Caboose: Hello Donut.
The sound of a grenade being lit. Cut to Donut and Caboose inside the red base, Caboose holding a grenade.
Caboose: Check out this awesome sparkler. It is even more fun, because we are playing with it inside.
Donut: Hey! That's not a sparkler, that's a grenade!
Caboose: Don't worry. We are completely safe. All of the doors are locked from the outside, so we cannot escape. Oh, wait a minute...
Grenade blows up, sending them flying. Cut to a black screen, reading: Safety Tip #2 Never Play with Fireworks Near an Open Flame.
Donut: Hey there, Caboose!
Cut to Donut wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron, standing behind a barbecue.
Donut: How do you like your meat? Well done? Or pink and juicy!?
Caboose: Yes-
Sound of a grenade being lit.
Caboose: I will take that fuzzy glowing hamburger please.
Donut: Hey. That's not a hamburger, (frantic) that's a grenade!
Caboose: I know! I switched them when you weren't looking!... Maybe I should not have done that.
Grenade blows up, sending them flying. Black screen: Safety Tip #3 Never Put Fireworks in Your Pants.
Donut: Hey Caboose.
Sound of a grenade being lit.
Donut: Have you seen my grenade?
Cut to Caboose in front of a teleporter, with a grenade in his pants
Caboose: Yes. I put it in my pants. Wait-
Grenade blows up, sending him flying. Black screen: Safety Tip #4 Never Aim Fireworks At Your Friends. Cut to Church in front of a fireworks stand
Church: For this last bit, the part of the bottle rocket, will be played by Sheila. Enjoy.
Cut to Caboose in the tank, in front of Donut.
Caboose: Hey Donut! Want to see my awesome bottle rocket!?
Donut: Totally! Just remember: don't point it directly at me! Okay!?
Caboose: Okay! And I promise I won't forget whatever it is that you just said.
The tank fires, blowing up things remarkably close to Donut.
Caboose: ...I forgot!
Cut to Church.
Church: Okay annnnd end scene. Well, I hope you've all learned a lot about fireworks, and maybe even, a little bit about yourself.
Sound of a grenade being lit.
Caboose: Oopsie.
Donut: Uh oh.
Caboose: Running time.
Donut and Caboose exit in opposite directions.
Church: Oh I almost forgot to mention the most important safety tip. If you have small children around, or even very very stupid adults, never ever let them play with fireworks without proper supervision. Hey- what's that hissing noise?
Grenade blows up. Cut to black.
Church: (voice) Caboose!
Caboose: (voice) Simmons did it!
Simmons: (voice) What're you talking about, I wasn't even in this video!
Donut: (voice) Happy Fireworks Day, everybody!
Trivia[]
- In an earlier version and original Season 2 DVD version of this PSA, the firework effects shows up in the outro.
Video[]
