R's rue

A post courtesy of Instagram. Irony isn't lost on me. I saw a quote that God put there for my consumption. "Once you accept your limits, you go beyond them." Albert Einstein. I finally get it. Cerebral Palsy has done the biggest damage on my head. Folks, my mindset was beyond skewed. I've been my own worst enemy. It's only very recently that once I started accepting my limits, that I'm seeing what is possible. I've spent my life conforming to the world knowing it could never understand me. I don't come perfectly packaged in a bow tied box. I spent my life praying for something God would never give me. Life is uncomfortable. It's messy. Everyday is an exercise in knowing the fight will continue for basic decency. Fighting to see the good and choose joy.

Disability prepares you for the cruelest of life lessons. 

My favorites

Unexpected gifts
Snail mail
Instagram
Argyle
Traveling

Yours?

Random act of Kindness?
Cereal?
Beach?

From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
Sigmund Freud

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Philippians 4:13

Have a blessed day filled with joy.

Thank you Steven Furtick. Getting real honest. I am wondering if the "normal" image I so sought to project as a child was the right move. Because now I am dealing with Cerebral Palsy rearing its ugly head in more ways than one. And when you have tried to be normal for so long, now asking for help has been more frustrating than ever.  And when you feel like when one can't see your disability it gets harder to explain why you need help.
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's there.

Great Barrier Reef
Masai Mara
Angkor Wat

Day by day, my faith in humanity erodes. I know there are good people, but I encounter some humans who make me question. Please show some kindness today.

Last thing you bought
Last thing you ate
Last thing you drank
Last person you spoke to
Last person you emailed

Conversation hearts
Chocolate covered strawberries
Cheesecake

Confession:  I thought I could do it on my own. I really thought. I tried so hard. Maybe that's the problem. I let my pride show. I thought needing help was a crutch. I equated help with dependence. I see it now. Pray that God will restore what I lost. Thank you.

This morning I listened to Elevation Church's Steven Furtick sermon, and my soul cried. I've always known. I always knew I'd be different.  I always knew I'd face obstacles. I always knew I'd always have to make lemonade. Today I learned that my perspective was as wrong as my perception. A pastor once told me "you're special, God is all over you. You know your calling, it's just not the one you want."  I surrender.  God, here I am. Cerebral Palsy, I surrender. You are the gate. This statement of definitity says it all. "It was determined before it was discovered."  The light bulb has gone off. "In every purpose is a promise". Cerebral Palsy has been and will always be a part of my story, but it doesn't have to be my story. I have let the world determine everything about me thinking God had stopped. God didn't stop. I did. I stopped believing the purpose and the promise. I waved the white flag of surrender, but the wrong one. I let my joy be robbed. I let my faith bend. I let it go. I prayed, but those prayers had no faith. Folks, I'm flawed, but my God is not.

Stuffed mushrooms
Buffalo chicken dip
Brie bites

Why do you blog?  I will answer in a follow up post, but I'm curious.

What are you reading?
Blogs? Books? Magazines?

What are you eating? Drinking? Cooking?

Any trips?

Favorite Valentine gifts?

Telling the truth. I didn't want to write this. It keeps showing up. I will keep teaching basic humanity. God has given me an opportunity. You by reading give me an opportunity. My greatest wish as a child would be that you couldn't see my Cerebral Palsy, and now I see the error of my way. People need to learn. And God keeps telling me, YOU are going to teach them.

Greece
Turkey
Israel

Coconut La Croix
Diet Pepsi
Coffee

How are you today?  Prayer requests?

Deli sandwich
Taco
Slice of pizza

Poppyseed bagel with lox
Eggs Bendict
Belgian waffle with strawberry

Steak with green beans and mashed potatoes
Chicken tenders and fries
Eggplant Parmesan

Be kind. It's the one gift we all can give.

Granola
Blueberry waffles
Blueberry belvita crackers

Eat fried chicken or lobster
Drink beer or soda
Watch TV or cuddle
Meet Hoda or sing with Justin
Visit Berlin or live in Ukraine

One of my biggest struggles is being patient, and not assuming the worst. It's something I've done for so long, it's routine for me. The strongest people have weakness. Being content is a constant job. I'm having to pray with tears and a conviction. I'm having to learn to savor small wins. I've had to confront a lot of issues within myself and the ones I have with the world. The world owes you nothing. I may have grievances, but I realize that they are not for here. I'm not saying life is perfect, but as long as I live, I am to love, learn and hope.
Love,
R

Favorite candle?
Favorite blanket?
Favorite book?

Christian Louboutin heels
Patagonia fleece
Michael Kors purse

What's the temperature where you are?

Happy New Year.
Goals:  Be willing to pray hard prayers.
             Don't be afraid.
             Love people even if they don't deserve it.
             Give myself grace.
             Be content.