[Jackie, along with a team of archaeologists, walk along a dark hall within a German castle.]
Archaeologist: And Mad King Ludwig would invite guests into the Castle Linderhof, where they would fall victim to any of his dozens of deadly traps.
Skip: Rude.
Jackie: Ha! That's why his name was not "Lovable Ludwig" or "Good Neighbor King of Bavaria".
Jackie: [Something ahead of their path catches his attention.] Ah! Stand back!
Jackie: [He reveals a thin wire running across either end of the hall using a small can of spray paint.]
Skip: Ah, come on, what are the odds that these traps still—
Jackie: [He snatches Skip's cap from his head and carefully drops it on top of the wire which promptly causes two large blocks to jolt from either side of the walls, crashing together.]
Skip: [He gulps.]
[In front of a heavy stone door, Jackie sticks two of his fingers into a skull's empty eye sockets and pulls, lifting the door up to the ceiling and revealing a room filled with treasure.]
Archaeologist: Ludwig's lost treasure!
Jackie: I'm sure the booty is booby-trapped, so don't—
Skip: [He races ahead excitedly and retrieves a jewel-encrusted golden sword from the treasure pile, causing the entire room to shake.]
Jackie: ...touch anything.
[The stone door begins to slide shut. Jackie kicks a spear in its path, wedging the door open momentarily.]
Jackie: Go! Go! Go!
[Jackie's companions flee the treasure room, but Jackie fails to reach the door in time before it seals shut.]
Jackie: Ah! Bad day.
[Dozens of arrows shoot across the room from either side of the walls.]
Jackie: Bad day! Bad day! Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!
Jackie: [He picks up a golden shield from the treasure pile to deflect the incoming arrows before leaping up the wall to an opening where he descends down a steep slope atop the shield, breaking out of the castle onto the mountainside, sliding toward the castle's main entrance to his companions.]
Jackie: Snowboarding works much better with snow.
Captain Black: [He spies on Jackie through a pair of binoculars.] Follow him.
Valmont: [He spies on Jackie through a pair of binoculars.] Follow him.
[Later in San Francisco, Jackie is training in his room above Uncle's shop until Uncle rings a bell from below, prompting Jackie to investigate.]
Jackie: What is it, Uncle?
Uncle: Come, give Uncle a hug!
Jackie: [He leaps down to embrace Uncle, approaching him with open arms only to be whacked across the head by him.]
Jackie: Ow!
Uncle: You did not make coffee this morning! Coffee is the only thing keeping Uncle's ancient heart beating! You want dead Uncle? No? Then you make coffee.
Jackie: Okay.
Uncle: One more thing. You receive phone call from the university, they want you to translate parchments.
Jackie: Okay.
Uncle: One more thing. I cannot read these inscriptions. [He inspects the golden shield, drawing Jackie's attention to a set of inscriptions near the center.] Very old writing. I must go in back, look at my journals.
Jackie: Okay.
Uncle: One more thing. This is Jade, your niece. [He draws Jackie's attention to Jade, who is standing in front of the counter with her arms crossed surrounded by suitcases.] She will live with you for a year, okay?
Jackie: Okay. [He says without thinking before the shock hits him.] I have a niece!!?
Uncle: Your cousin Shen's girl from Hong Kong. Jade is not behaving well there; doing poorly in school. Your cousin thinks she will do better in America with you.
Jackie: Uh, nobody asked me!
Uncle: Did not want to bother you.
Uncle: Now, you both get acquainted while I go do work.
Jackie: But I don't know anything about children!
Uncle: [He disappears into his library with the shield.]
Jackie: [He turns to face Jade.] Heh heh... Hello. I am Jackie.
Jade: [...]
Jackie: Hmm, no English. [He speaks in Chinese.] Ni hao ma?
[The shop door opens and the three Enforcers enter the store.]
Jackie: Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds. How can I help you?
Finn: You're Jackie Chan, the archaeologist?
Jackie: Heh, I dabble in the study of past civilizations.
Finn: Well, we are aware that you recently "dabbled" a shield from a Bavarian castle. Our extremely wealthy employer is interested in purchasing that shield.
Jackie: [He eyes each of the Enforcers suspiciously.] I'm sorry, I already donated that piece to the university.
Finn: Really? [He signals Ratso to deliberately knock over a vase from a table. Before hitting the ground, it knocks into a second vase. Jackie promptly catches both vases before they hit the ground. Chow knocks a third vase over, only for Jackie to skillfully kick over a cushion to break its fall.]
Finn: It would be in your family's best interests to undonate the shield, Mr. Chan. By this time tomorrow.
[As the three Enforcers leave the store, Uncle returns from his library.]
Uncle: Did they buy anything?
Jackie: No.
Uncle: You terrible salesman!
Jackie: Watch the girl and hide the shield!
Uncle: Where am I going to hide a big shield? It... where did I put it?
Jackie: [He exits the store as the Enforcers depart in a their limo. He then scales a set of buildings and pursues them from the rooftops before descending down a drainpipe. The top end of the pipe breaks loose from the building and Jackie crashes onto the hood of the limo.]
Ratso: Ah!
Jackie: Ow! Heh, that will buff right out.
Ratso: [He stamps on the accelerator whilst Jackie clings onto the hood before the limo crashes into a fence.]
[The Enforcers jump out of the vehicle to engage Jackie, but he manages to leap over the fence.]
Jackie: Ner ner!
[Each of the Enforcers equips an electric sword.]
Jackie: Electric swords!!?
[The Enforcers slash open the fence before charging at Jackie. Whilst evading their strikes, he rolls over the hood of a truck, inadvertently snapping off the windshield wipers, providing him with a pair of improvised weapons which he quickly uses to disarm each of his opponents.]
Jackie: [He runs into a nearby playground filled with children.] No more playtime! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Jackie: [He engages each of the Enforcers, skillfully using the playground equipment to his advantage, hitting Ratso in the face with a tetherball before knocking Chow onto a spring rocker.]
Ratso: Ow!
Jackie: [He manages to tangle both Finn and Ratso up in a set of swings.]
Finn: Hey! What the—
Jackie: [He leaps onto an arch ladder before landing in a challenging pose.]
Ratso: Wow.
Jackie: [He offers a taunting gesture.]
Finn: Let's get out of here.
[The three Enforcers flee the scene.]
Jackie: [He descends from the arch ladder before noticing Jade is watching him from nearby.] Ah! Jade?
Captain Black: [He sneaks up from behind Jackie before spraying him with a green mist, knocking him unconscious.]
Jackie: [He awakens sometime later in the back of a mobile van to the sight of Captain Black alongside two other agents.]
Agent: Oh, he's coming to.
Jackie: Wha— Augustus Black! [He pulls Captain Black into a hug.] What are you doing here? Ow, what am I doing here?
Captain Black: I'm afraid it's official business, my friend.
Jackie: I didn't think these were your back-up singers. Where have you been? I don't hear from you for six years... Boom! You're in San Francisco saving my butt. Oh, those thugs must've knocked me out.
Captain Black: Actually, I knocked you out.
[The van stops to a halt in an alley with a phonebooth.]
Jackie: [He jumps out of the vehicle.] Why did you do that?
Captain Black: Jackie...
Jackie: I thought we were friends.
Captain Black: We are, Jackie. I'm sorry, but this location must remain secret.
Jackie: Oh, yes. I can see this is some very special garbage.
Captain Black: Jackie...
Jackie: [He approaches the phonebooth.] Maybe I'll see you in another six years. Excuse me, while I call a cab.
Captain Black: Uh, Jackie...
Jackie: [He steps into the phonebooth and proceeds to dial a number before the door behind him slams shut.] Huh?
[The phonebooth is suddenly sucked through a hole in the wall. Jackie clings onto the glass as it zips along a horizontal hallway until eventually dropping down a vertical shaft. After reaching the bottom, the doors slide open and Jackie tumbles out.]
Jackie: [He looks up to see Captain Black waiting for him.]
Captain Black: Tried to warn you.
Jackie: How did you get down here?
Captain Black: The stairs. Follow me. [He leads Jackie onto a catwalk overlooking a room filled with dozens of agents.]
Captain Black: Jackie, welcome to Section 13.
Jackie: I thought you were with INTERPOL?
Captain Black: Even when you knew me then, I was shepherding this agency in secret.
Jackie: You're a spy? They're spies?
Captain Black: Law enforcement, Jackie. Elite special forces.
Jackie: So why give me the big tour?
Captain Black: We are aware that you recently acquired an artifact in Bavaria.
Jackie: Why does everyone know this!?
Captain Black: Jackie?
Jackie: You are the second one to ask me about the shield today.
Captain Black: As I feared.
Jackie: Want to fill me in?
Captain Black: [He leads Jackie to a computer terminal.] Section 13 was founded to investigate large-scale international crimes. Crimes which it seems can often be traced to a syndicate called the Dark Hand. The Dark Hand has connections to nearly every criminal activity in existence. Their leader is this man, Valmont.
[At the Dark Hand headquarters, the three Enforcers are reporting their failure to Valmont in his office.]
Valmont: You're telling me one man stopped you?
Finn: Uh, yes, but—
Valmont: Three of my enforcers armed with high-tech weapons were defeated by an... archaeologist?
Finn: Did we mention he had windshield wipers?
Valmont: Tohru.
Tohru: [He emerges behind the three Enforcers, looming over them.]
Finn: Uh-oh
Chow: Woah!
Ratso: Woah.
Tohru: [He reaches down and picks all three of them up, his arms tightening around them as he squeezes.]
Finn: Tohru, can't... breathe.
[The Enforcers squirm and struggle to no avail.]
Valmont: Enough.
Tohru: [He releases the Enforcers, letting them drop to the floor as they collapse on top of each other one by one.]
Valmont: Tohru, bring me the shield.
Shendu: While your Tohru impresses Valmont, perhaps he should be aided by... [Dozens of Shadowkhan flutter into the room.] the Shadowkhan.
Valmont: As you wish, Shendu.
[Back at Section 13.]
Captain Black: We recently learned that the Dark Hand has a sudden interest in collecting certain historical artifacts.
Jackie: Why?
Captain Black: Unknown. But with this new development, Section 13 could use an archaeology expert such as yourself.
Jackie: Oh, I'm really just an amateur.
Captain Black: A wise and talented amateur, whom I know and trust.
Jackie: But my university work...
Captain Black: It wouldn't be full-time, Jackie. Research only. To help us stay one step ahead of Valmont.
Jackie: I will consider it.
[A motor scooter suddenly zooms down the hallway past Jackie and Captain Black. The driver is quickly revealed to be Jade.]
Jade: Jackie!
Captain Black: Who is that!!?
Jackie: No relation.
Jade: [She spins around and dashes toward Jackie and Captain Black again.]
Jackie: Stand back. [He jumps onto an office chair whilst clinging onto the scooter as it zips past, being pulled along whilst rolling beside Jade.]
Jade: Jackie, grab on.
Jackie: Woah!
Jade: We're busting you outta here.
Jackie: You speak English!!?
[The scooter descends down a flight of stairs with the chair skidding along.]
[As the scooter pulls Jackie along a wall, he reaches for the ignition switch, turning the power off. The scooter skids to a stop, but the chair rolls past it and crashes into a pile of boxes.]
Captain Black: [He approaches Jackie before holding up two fingers.] Jackie, how many fingers do you see?
Jackie: Look, fishies!
[Two agents subdue Jade.]
Jade: Let go of me!
Captain Black: Young lady, how did you get in here?
Jade: The stairs.
Jackie: Where did you get that bike? You could have been hurt!
Jade: I snuck it out of their garage. Knew we'd need it to blow this taco stand. So, we outta here?
Jackie: Jade, these people are my friends.
Jade: Your "friends" knocked you out and took you to a super-secret underground base?
Jackie: Uh, yes.
Jade: America is so cool!
Captain Black: Care to explain how our security was penetrated by a child?
Jade: I'm not a child! I'm Jackie's niece.
Captain Black: Didn't know you had a niece, Jackie.
Jackie: Join the club.
Jackie: Jade!
Jade: C'mon, just admit. Wasn't I brave?
Jackie: Yes, but you also need wisdom. To know when challenges are too big. Courage without wisdom is foolishness. Understand?
Jade: Uh, my English must not be too good.
[Jackie's cell phone rings, prompting him to answer.]
Jackie: Hello?
Uncle: [Over the phone.] Jackie.
Jackie: Uncle.
Uncle: Where are you?
Jackie: Uh... [He turns to face Captain Black and his agents.] Can't say.
Uncle: Oh. One more thing. Have you seen Jade?
Jackie: Yes, she's with me.
Uncle: See! I knew you two would get along! One more thing. I have been doing research on the shield. Jackie, I have found what the inscriptions mean; they are incantations.
Jackie: Incantations?
Uncle: Magic. Very powerful. But the shield not important.
Jackie: Of course the shield is important, Uncle! Everybody I meet today wants the shield!
Uncle: Nah, shield not important.
Tohru: [He suddenly looms over Uncle.] The shield.
Jackie: Uncle? Uncle? Uncle!!?
Jackie: Uncle!!? Uncle!!?
Tohru: Your uncle is fine for now, Mr. Chan. But every hour I do not possess the shield...
Jackie: Yes, yes, I understand. I will bring it. I will tell no one. [He hangs up.]
Jackie: [He turns to Captain Black.] A favor, between friends. Watch my niece. [He hurries to the exit.]
Captain Black: Jackie, where are you going?
Jackie: Please, don't ask questions. [He steps into the elevator and departs.]
Captain Black: Alright, young lady... [He turns toward Jade, only to find that she has vanished.]
Jackie: [He rushes back into Uncle's shop.] Where would Uncle hide the shield?
Jackie: [He searches through the shop, eventually picking up an old screen to move it aside, only to find Jade hiding behind it.]
Jade: Hi!
Jackie: Wha— How did you—
Jade: The stairs.
Jackie: Well, take these stairs to your room.
Jade: Aww, let me help! Uncle is my Uncle too! ...I think.
Jackie: Fine. Help find the shield.
Jade: [She pulls the top of a table out from beneath a pile of items, causing them all to collapse in a heap on top of Jackie, who subsequently pokes his head out of the pile disapprovingly.] This it? [She holds up the shield for Jackie to see.]
Jackie: Yes!
Jade: I must be getting that "wisdom" you were talking about.
Jackie: [He takes the shield from her.] Thank you. Now go to your room.
Jade: [She folds her arms and pouts.]
Jackie: [He approaches the foot of a tall skyscraper with the shield tucked under his arm.]
Jade: Uncle's up there, huh?
Jackie: [He turns to find Jade standing behind him.] You speak English?
Jade: You know I do!
Jackie: So what part of "go to your room" do you not understand?
Jade: Aww...
Jackie: Stay here, or I'll put you on the first flight back to Hong Kong.
Jade: Scouts honor!
Jackie: [He turns and runs to the entrance of the building.]
Jade: T'ch, like I'm a scout?
Jackie: [He emerges from the elevator onto the very top of the building. Tohru is standing beside Uncle on the opposite side.]
Tohru: The shield.
Jackie: Why does your employer want it?
Tohru: That is not your concern.
Jade: [She silently peeks out to Jackie from the door to the stairwell.]
Jackie: [He spots Jade before offering her a subtle gesture.] Okey dokey, you want the shield? Catch! [He tosses the shield toward Tohru, who fails to catch it, only for the shield to spin around like a boomerang and miss him again, landing neatly in Jackie's arms.]
Tohru: Fool! Say sayonara to your uncle! [He pulls his fist back to strike Uncle, only to find that he has vanished.] Huh? [He then turns to witnesses Jade whisking Uncle off to safety down the stairwell before growling.]
Jackie: I bet I run faster than you. [Whilst racing back toward the elevator with the shield, he hears something flutter behind him, only to turn each time and find nothing. Suddenly, he looks ahead to find himself surrounded by Shadowkhan.]
Jackie: Come and get it?
[The Shadowkhan scurry toward Jackie, engaging him as he deflects their strikes with the shield. Amidst the fighting, Tohru heads for the elevator.]
Jackie: [He fends off his aggressors before throwing the shield like a boomerang again, knocking out a Shadowkhan in its path before returning to him.]
[The Shadowkhan proceed to throw shuriken toward Jackie, who attempts to flee whilst uses the shield to deflect their incoming fire.]
Jackie: [He skids to a halt after reaching the edge of the roof, almost falling after losing his balance, only to leap down onto a ledge below with the Shadowkhan in close pursuit.]
[Down the stairwell, Jade and Uncle race to reach the ground floor.]
Jade: Hurry, Uncle!
Uncle: Ai-yah!
Tohru: [He glides down the building in the elevator.]
Jackie: [He attempts to outrun the Shadowkhan, only for two of them to jump ahead of him, allowing the rest to catch up. He then slides down the face of the building to evade them, narrowly avoiding falling to the ground, but eventually finds himself surrounded on either side.]
[Jade and Uncle gaze up at Jackie from in front of the building after reaching the ground floor.]
Jade: Jackie!
Jackie: [He tosses the shield down toward Jade and Uncle.]
Jade: Mine! [She opens her arms to catch the shield as it sails down toward her, landing safely in her arms. She then attempts to flee with the shield, only to bump straight into Tohru.]
Tohru: The shield.
Uncle: [He launches a fierce strike against Tohru which has no effect whatsoever.]
Jade: Heh heh. [She sheepishly surrenders the shield to Tohru.]
Jackie: [He watches from above with a sigh as the Shadowkhan proceed to vanish in a puff of smoke. A spotlight from a helicopter subsequently floods the ledge.]
Captain Black: [Over the helicopter loudspeaker.] Honest, it's a research position.
[Later in front of the building.]
Captain Black: Jackie, I never meant for your family to get involved in this.
Jackie: It's not your fault. The Dark Hand was after the shield. [He is whacked across the head by Uncle.] Ow!
Uncle: I told you! Shield not important! The talisman in the center of the shield is. That is where the magic lies.
Captain Black: Uh, don't you worry. We'll be sure to look into that once we reclaim the talisman from the Dark Hand.
Jade: Don't need to. [She reveals the Rooster Talisman.] Admit it, I'm getting wise.
[Meanwhile, at the Dark Hand headquarters.]
Tohru: Master. [He presents the shield to Valmont.]
Valmont: [He immediately notices the empty space in the center of the shield.]
Valmont and Shendu: Tohru...
Tohru: What?
[Back in front of the building.]
Uncle: One more thing. See the markings? [He draws attention to the Rooster Talisman.] Sign of the Rooster from the Chinese zodiac. There are eleven more talismans where that came from.
Captain Black: And my gut tells me the Dark Hand's after them, too. You on board, Jackie?
