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{{Short description|Renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation, or anger}}
{{Other uses}}
[[File:Marco aurelio e barbaros - museus capitolinos.jpg|thumb|[[Roman Emperor|Emperor]] [[Marcus Aurelius]] shows clemency to the vanquished after his success against tribes ([[Capitoline Museum]] in Rome)]]

'''Forgiveness''', in a [[psychology|psychological]] sense, is the intentional and voluntary process by which one who may have felt initially wronged, victimized, harmed, or hurt goes through a process of changing feelings and attitude regarding a given offender for their actions, and overcomes the impact of the offense, flaw or mistake including negative [[emotion]]s such as [[resentment]] or a desire for vengeance.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{Cite book|title=Grief is a journey|last=Doka|first=Kenneth|publisher=Atria Books|year=2017|isbn=978-1476771519|pages=14–16}}
|2={{Cite web|url=http://hieronymi.bol.ucla.edu/Publications_files/Hieronymi%20Articulating%20Forgiveness%20pre-print.pdf|title=Articulating an Uncompromising Forgiveness|last=Hieronymi|first=Pamela|date=May 2001|pages=1–2|access-date=2020-01-18}}
|3={{Cite book|title=Exploring Forgiveness|last=North|first=Joanna|publisher=University of Wisconsin|year=1998|isbn=0299157741|pages=20–21}} }}</ref> Theorists differ in the extent to which they believe forgiveness also implies replacing the negative emotions with positive attitudes (i.e. an increased ability to tolerate the offender),<ref name="apa">{{cite web | year = 2006 | archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110626153005/http://www.apa.org/international/resources/forgiveness.pdf | archive-date=2011-06-26 | url = http://www.apa.org/international/resources/forgiveness.pdf | title = American Psychological Association. ''Forgiveness: A Sampling of Research Results.'' | url-status=dead |pages=5–8 | access-date = 2009-02-07}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition|title=What Is Forgiveness?|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131114221002/http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness/definition |archive-date=2013-11-14|publisher=The Greater Good Science Center|location=University of California, Berkeley}}</ref><ref name ="Field">{{Cite journal|last1=Field|first1=Courtney|last2=Zander|first2=Jaimie|last3=Hall|first3=Guy|title='Forgiveness is a present to yourself as well': An intrapersonal model of forgiveness in victims of violent crime|journal=International Review of Victimology|language=en|date= September 2013| volume=19|issue=3|pages=235–247|doi=10.1177/0269758013492752|s2cid=145625500|issn=0269-7580}}</ref> or requires reconciliation with the offender.<ref>{{cite journal|first=Nathaniel|last=Wade|title=Forgive and be free|journal=[[Aeon (magazine)|Aeon]] | date=14 August 2020}}</ref> In certain legal contexts, forgiveness is a term for absolving someone of [[debt forgiveness|debt]], [[loan forgiveness|loan]], obligation, or other claims.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite web|url=http://stats.oecd.org/glossary/detail.asp?ID=555|url-status=dead|title=Debt Forgiveness|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131031215222/http://stats.oecd.org/glossary/detail.asp?ID=555 |archive-date=2013-10-31 |website=OECD, Glossary of Statistical Terms|year=2001}}
|2={{cite web|url=http://studentaid.ed.gov/repay-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/charts/public-service|url-status=dead|title=Loan Forgiveness|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131113023609/http://studentaid.ed.gov/repay-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/charts/public-service |archive-date=2013-11-13|website= Glossary, U.S. Department of Education}} }}</ref> Such legal usage can also be thought of as [[mercy]], being distinct from forgiveness.<ref>As observed by Lucy Allais in footnote 16 of "Wiping the Slate Clean: The Heart of Forgiveness," in ''Philosophy & Public Affairs'' 36 (Winter 2008) p. 39</ref>

On the psychological level, forgiveness is different from simple condoning (viewing action as harmful, yet to be "forgiven" or overlooked for certain reasons of "charity"), excusing or [[pardon]]ing (merely releasing the offender from responsibility for their actions), or [[forgetting]] (attempting to remove from one's consciousness the [[memory]] of an offense). In some schools of thought, it involves a personal and "voluntary" effort at the self-transformation of one's half of a relationship with another, such that one is restored to [[peace]] and ideally to what psychologist [[Carl Rogers]] has referred to as "[[unconditional positive regard]]" towards the other.<ref name="apa" /><ref name=CCT-rogers>{{cite book|last1=Rogers|first1=Carl|title=Client-Centered Therapy|year=1956|publisher=Houghton-Mifflin|location=Boston|edition=3}}</ref> Forgiveness can seal off past wrong doings and remove it from the present.<ref>{{cite journal|first=P.|last=Hieronymi|title=Articulating an uncompromising forgiveness|journal=Philosophy and Phenomenological Research|year=2001|volume=62 |issue=3 |pages=529–555 |doi=10.1111/j.1933-1592.2001.tb00073.x |s2cid=171007732 |url=https://escholarship.org/uc/item/0cm3336m }}</ref>

As a psychological concept and as a [[virtue]], the obligation to forgive and the benefits of forgiveness have been explored in [[religion|religious]] thought, [[moral philosophy]], [[social science]]s, and medicine. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives,<ref>{{cite book|last1=Graham|first1=Michael C.|title=Facts of Life: ten issues of contentment|year=2014|publisher=Outskirts Press|page=268|isbn=978-1-4787-2259-5}}</ref> which may include forgiving themselves. The concept of forgiveness can be in terms of the person forgiven or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In most contexts, forgiveness is granted without any expectation of [[restorative justice]], and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is [[wikt:incommunicado|incommunicado]] or dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, such as an [[wikt:apology|apology]], or to explicitly ask for forgiveness, for the wronged person to believe themselves able to forgive.<ref name="apa" />

Social and political dimensions of forgiveness involve the strictly private and religious sphere of "forgiveness".{{clarify|date=July 2023}} The notion of "forgiveness" is generally considered unusual in the political field. However, [[Hannah Arendt]] considers that the "faculty of forgiveness" has its place in public affairs. She believes that forgiveness can liberate resources both individually and collectively in the face of the irreparable, by freeing people to act in ways that are not merely reactive to the original wrong: "Forgiving is the only reaction which does not merely re-act but acts a new and unexpectedly, unconditioned by the act which provoked it and therefore freeing from its consequences both the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven."<ref>{{cite book|first=Hannah|last=Arendt|chapter=Irreversibility and the Power to Forgive|title=The Human Condition|year=1958}}</ref>

In a study conducted in Rwanda to examine the discourses and practices of forgiveness following the [[Rwandan genocide|1994 genocide]], sociologist Benoit Guillou highlighted the extensive range of meanings associated with the term "forgiveness" and its underlying political nature. In the study's findings, the author presented four {{specify|date=July 2023}} primary aspects of forgiveness to facilitate a clearer comprehension of both its multifaceted applications and the circumstances in which forgiveness can contribute to the restoration of social connections.<ref name="BenoitGuillou">{{cite web|year=2014 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20161105223352/https://blogbenoitguillou.net/ |url=https://blogbenoitguillou.net/ |archive-date=2016-11-05 |title=Le pardon est-il durable? Une enquête au Rwanda|first=Benoît|last=Guillou|location=Paris|url-status=dead|language=fr}}</ref>

Most world religions include teachings on forgiveness, and many of these provide a foundation for various modern traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious [[doctrine]]s or [[philosophies]] emphasize the need for people to find [[divinity|divine]] forgiveness for their shortcomings; others place greater emphasis on the need for people to forgive one another; yet others make little or no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.

Forgiveness is interpreted in many ways by different people and cultures. This is important in relationship-oriented communication. When all parties share a mutual view of forgiveness then a relationship can be maintained. "Understanding antecedents of forgiveness, exploring the physiology of forgiveness, and training people to become more forgiving all imply that we have a shared meaning for the term".<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Lawler-Row|first1=Kathleen A.|last2=Scott|first2=Cynthia A.|last3=Raines|first3=Rachel L.|last4=Edlis-Matityahou|first4=Meirav|last5=Moore|first5=Erin W.|date=2007-06-01|title=The Varieties of Forgiveness Experience: Working toward a Comprehensive Definition of Forgiveness|journal=Journal of Religion and Health|volume=46|issue=2|pages=233–248|doi=10.1007/s10943-006-9077-y|s2cid=33474665|issn=1573-6571}}</ref>

==The nature of forgiveness==
[[File:Determinants of Forgiveness Graphic.JPG|thumb|Factors determining the likelihood of forgiveness in an intimate relationship]]
{{As of|2006}}, there is no consensus for a psychological definition of forgiveness in the research literature. However, there is agreement that forgiveness is a process, and several models describing the process of forgiveness have been published, including one from a radical behavioral perspective.<ref>{{cite journal|last1=Cordova|first1=J.|last2=Cautilli|first2=J.|last3=Simon|first3=C.|last4=Axelrod-Sabtig|first4=R|year=2006|title=Behavior Analysis of Forgiveness in Couples Therapy|journal=IJBCT|volume=2|number=2|page=192}}</ref>

Dr. Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin–Madison founded the International Forgiveness Institute and initiated forgiveness studies. He developed a 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness.<ref>{{cite book|first=Robert|last=Enright|title=Forgiveness Is a Choice|publisher=American Psychological Association|year=2001|isbn=1-55798-757-2}}</ref> In that model, to forgive someone, you should examine the wrong you suffered, who caused it, and the context in which it happened; consider the anger you feel about it, any shame or guilt associated with it, and how it has affected you; decide whether you want to advance into an attitude of forgiveness, and, if so: work on understanding, compassion, and acceptance, and make a gesture of reconciliation to the offender; then, reformulate the way you remember your experience of being wronged and of developing forgiveness in ways that healthily integrate this into your life story.

A longitudinal study showed that people who were generally more [[neuroticism|neurotic]], angry, and hostile in life were less likely to forgive another person even after a long time had passed. They were more likely to avoid their transgressor and want to enact revenge upon them two and a half years after the transgression.<ref>{{cite journal|last1=Maltby|first1=J.|last2=Wood|first2=A.M.|last3=Day|first3=L.|last4=Kon|first4=T.W.H.|last5=Colley|first5=A.|last6=Linley|first6=P.A.|year=2008|url=http://personalpages.manchester.ac.uk/staff/alex.wood/forgiveness.pdf|url-status=dead|title=Personality predictors of levels of forgiveness two and a half years after the transgression|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20090319205217/http://personalpages.manchester.ac.uk/staff/alex.wood/forgiveness.pdf |archive-date=2009-03-19|journal=Journal of Research in Personality|volume=42|issue=4 |pages=1088–1094|doi=10.1016/j.jrp.2007.12.008 }}</ref>

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentment.<ref>{{cite web | year = 2006 | url = http://www.forgiving.org | title = Forgiving (Campaign for Forgiveness Research) | access-date = 2006-06-19 | url-status = dead | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20060615102050/http://www.forgiving.org/ | archive-date = 2006-06-15 }}</ref> The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender their [[Cardiovascular System|cardiovascular]] and [[nervous system]] functioning improves.<ref>{{cite journal|last1=vanOyen-Witvilet|first1=C.|last2=Ludwig|first2=T.E.|first3=K.L.|last3=Vander Lann|title=Granting Forgiveness or Harboring Grudges: Implications for Emotions, Physiology, and Health|journal=Psychological Science|number=12|year=2001|volume=12 |pages=117–23|doi=10.1111/1467-9280.00320 |pmid=11340919 |s2cid=473643 |url=https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2300&context=faculty_publications }}</ref> Another study found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. Less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.<ref>{{cite journal|first=S.|last=Sarinopoulos|title=Forgiveness and Physical Health: A Doctoral Dissertation Summary|journal=World of Forgiveness|number=2|year=2000|pages=16–18}}</ref>

Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, author of ''Forgive for Good'', presented evidence that forgiveness can be learned (i.e. is a teachable skill, with practice) based on research into the effects of teaching forgiveness. This research gave empirical support to the powerful, positive health effects of forgiveness. In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose family members were murdered in [[The Troubles|the political violence]], he found that people who are taught how to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. His studies show a reduction in experience of stress, in physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality.<ref name="fred" />

=== Ideas about what forgiveness is not ===
{{POV section|date=July 2023}}
* Forgiveness is not condoning<ref name="apa" /><ref name="fred"/>
* Forgiveness is not forgetting<ref name="apa" /><ref name="fred" />
* Forgiveness is not excusing (i.e. making reasons to explain away offender's responsibility or free will)<ref name="apa" /><ref name="fred" />
* Forgiveness does not have to be religious or otherworldly<ref name="fred" />
* Forgiveness is not minimizing your hurt<ref name="fred" />
* Forgiveness is not reconciliation (i.e. reestablishing trust in the relationship)<ref name="apa" /><ref name="fred" /><ref>{{cite web |last1=Worthington |first1=Everett |title=Everett Worthington - Justice, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation: How Psychology Informs Theology |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVXYuPKXEOQ |website=Youtube |date=25 July 2018 |publisher=GordonConwell |access-date=19 December 2019}}{{cbignore}} (Archived at [https://ghostarchive.org/varchive/youtube/20211211/JVXYuPKXEOQ Ghostarchive]{{cbignore}} and the [https://web.archive.org/web/20200430053547/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVXYuPKXEOQ&gl=US&hl=en Wayback Machine]{{cbignore}})</ref>
* Forgiveness is not denying or suppressing anger; rather its focus is on resentment.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite web |last1=Romm |first1=Cari |title=Rushing to Forgiveness is not a Binary State |url=https://www.thecut.com/2017/01/forgiveness-is-not-a-binary-state.html |website=The Cut |date=11 January 2017 |access-date=19 December 2019}}
|2={{Cite web|first1=Paul M.|last1=Hughes|first2=Brandon|last2=Warmke|url=https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/forgiveness/#EmotAcco|title=Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy|at=Emotion Accounts (of what forgiveness is)|date=2017-05-31|access-date=2020-01-18}}
}}</ref><ref name="Stosny">{{cite book |last1=Stosny |first1=Steven |title=Living & Loving after Betrayal |date=September 1, 2013 |publisher=New Harbinger Publications |isbn=978-1608827527 |page=227}}</ref><ref name="fred" /> In particular, to forgive it is healthy to acknowledge and express negative emotions, before you can forgive<ref name="Wanda" />
* Forgiveness is not ignoring accountability or justice.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite web |last1=Enright |first1=Robert |title=Two Weaknesses of Forgiving: it victimizes and it stops justice |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-forgiving-life/201708/two-weaknesses-forgiving-it-victimizes-and-stops-justice |date=2017-08-10|website=Psychology Today |access-date=19 December 2019}}
|2={{cite web |last1=Marsh |first1=Jason |title=Is Vengeance Better For Victims, than Forgiveness? |url=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_vengeance_better_for_victims_than_forgiveness |date=2015-07-29|website=Greater Good |access-date=19 December 2019}}
}}</ref> In particular, punishment and compensation are independent of the choice to forgive (you can forgive, or not forgive, and still pursue punishment and/or compensation, regardless)<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite interview|last1=Luskin |first1=Fred|last2=Seago|first2=Laura |title=Forgiveness is not what you think it is |url=https://www.curablehealth.com/podcast/forgiveness-is-not-what-you-think-it-is-dr-fred-luskin |website=Curable Health |interviewer=Laura Seago|access-date=19 December 2019}}
|2={{Cite book|title=Exploring Forgiveness|last=North|first=Joanna|publisher=University of Wisconsin|year=1998|isbn=0299157741|page=17}}
}}</ref><ref name="Zaibert">{{cite journal |last1=Zaibert |first1=Loe |title=The Paradox of Forgiveness |journal=Journal of Moral Philosophy |year=2009 |volume=6 |issue=3 |pages=365–393 |doi=10.1163/174552409X433436 |url=http://minerva.union.edu/zaibertl/zaibert%20the%20paradox%20of%20forgiveness.pdf |access-date=19 December 2019 |archive-date=19 October 2021 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211019081048/https://minerva.union.edu/zaibertl/zaibert%20the%20paradox%20of%20forgiveness.pdf |url-status=dead }}</ref>
* Forgiveness is not pardoning; it cannot be granted or chosen by someone else<ref name="apa" /><ref name="fred" />
* Emotional forgiveness is not the same as decisional{{technical inline|date=July 2023}} forgiveness or the expression of forgiveness. Expressing emotions (i.e., "I am angry at you" or "I forgive you") is not the same as genuinely having or experiencing the emotions (i.e., people can deny, mistake, or lie about their emotional experience to another person while genuinely feeling something else instead)<ref name="Zaibert" /><ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite web |last1=Seltzer |first1=Leon F. |title=Fake vs. True Forgiveness |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/evolution-the-self/201502/fake-vs-true-forgiveness|date=2015-02-20|website=Psychology Today |access-date=19 December 2019}}
|2={{cite journal |last1=Worthington |first1=Everett |title=Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience |journal=Psychology & Health |date=February 1, 2001 |volume=19 |issue=3 |pages=385–405 |doi=10.1080/0887044042000196674 |s2cid=10052021 |url=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Worthington-ForgivenessCopingStrategy.pdf |access-date=19 December 2019}}
}}</ref>
* Although this is heavily debated,<ref name="Field" /> emotional forgiveness is for you, not the offender<ref name="fred">{{cite book |first1=Fred |last1=Luskin |title=Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health & Happiness |date=September 2003 |publisher=HarperOne |isbn=978-0062517210 |page=[https://archive.org/details/forgiveforgoodpr00lusk/page/7 7–8] |url=https://archive.org/details/forgiveforgoodpr00lusk/page/7 }}</ref> (i.e., unless you choose to make it so: by expressing it, or by trying to reconcile)

=== The timeliness of forgiveness ===
Psychologist Wanda Malcolm, in ''Women's Reflections on the Complexities of Forgiveness'', outlines reasons why forgiveness takes time: when working on self (care/healing) takes priority (i.e. therapy, medical injuries, etc.), when issues of {{clarify|text=relational|date=July 2023}} safety need to be addressed, and where facilitating forgiveness may be premature immediately after an interpersonal offense.<ref name="Wanda">{{cite book |last1=Malcolm |first1=Wanda |title=Women's Reflections on the Complexities of Forgiveness |date=Oct 19, 2007 |publisher=Routledge |isbn=978-0415955058 |pages=275–291}}</ref> Malcolm explains that "premature efforts to facilitate forgiveness may be a sign of our reluctance to witness our client’s pain and suffering and may unwittingly reinforce the client’s belief that the pain and suffering is too much to bear and must be suppressed or avoided."<ref name="Wanda" />

Worthington ''et al.'' observed that "anything done to promote forgiveness has little impact unless substantial time is spent at helping participants think through and emotionally experience their forgiveness".<ref>{{cite journal | last1=Worthington | first1=Everett L. | last2=Kurusu | first2=Taro A. | last3=Collins | first3=Wanda | last4=Berry | first4=Jack W. | last5=Ripley | first5=Jennifer S. | last6=Baier | first6=Sasha N. | title=Forgiving Usually Takes Time: A Lesson Learned by Studying Interventions to Promote Forgiveness | journal=Journal of Psychology and Theology | publisher=SAGE Publications | volume=28 | issue=1 | year=2000 | issn=0091-6471 | doi=10.1177/009164710002800101 | pages=3–20| s2cid=146762070 }}</ref> Efforts to facilitate forgiveness may be premature and even harmful immediately after an interpersonal injury.<ref name="Wanda" /><ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/is-psychology-making-us-sick/201409/6-reasons-not-forgive-not-yet|title=6 reasons not to forgive, not yet|last=Bedrick|first=David|website=Psychology Today|date=2014-09-25|access-date=2020-01-18}}</ref>

==Forgiveness in philosophical thought==
The philosopher [[Joseph Butler]] (''[[Fifteen Sermons]]'') defined forgiveness as "overcoming of resentment, the overcoming of moral hatred, as a speech act, and as forbearance".<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Newberry|first=Paul A.|date=April 2001|title=Joseph Butler on Forgiveness: A Presupposed Theory of Emotion|journal=Journal of the History of Ideas|volume=62|issue=2|pages=233–244|doi=10.2307/3654356|jstor=3654356}}</ref> In his 1962 lecture on "Freedom and Resentment"', philosopher [[P. F. Strawson]] described forgiveness as "a rather unfashionable subject in moral philosophy" at that time.<ref>Strawson, P. F., [https://web.archive.org/web/20240118195702/https://www.thebritishacademy.ac.uk/documents/4837/48p187.pdf Freedom and Resentment], philosophical lecture read 9 May 1962, archived 18 January 2024, accessed 18 May 2024</ref>

== Religious views ==
{{Further|Salvation|Sin}}
[[File:P religion world.svg|alt=World Religions|thumb|World Religions]]
Religion can affect how someone chooses to forgive—for example, through religious activity, religious affiliation and teachings, and imitation.<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Escher|first=Daniel|date=2013|title=How Does Religion Promote Forgiveness? Linking Beliefs, Orientations, and Practices|journal=Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion|volume=52|issue=1|pages=100–119|issn=0021-8294|jstor=23353893|doi=10.1111/jssr.12012}}</ref>

===Abrahamic===
==== Judaism ====
{{See also|Repentance in Judaism}}
<!-- This section is linked from [[Judaism]] -->

In [[Judaism]], if a person causes harm, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is encouraged, but not required, to grant forgiveness:

{{blockquote|It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit&nbsp;... forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel.|[[Mishneh Torah]], ''[[Teshuvah]]'' 2:10}}

In Judaism, one must go "to those he has harmed" to be entitled to forgiveness.<ref name="Yom Kippur">{{cite web | year = 2006 | url = https://www.jewfaq.org/holiday4.htm | title = Yom Kippur | website=Judaism 101|access-date = 2006-04-26 | url-status = live | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20160823211009/http://www.jfst.se/wp-content/uploads/Luach-2015-2016.pdf | archive-date = 2016-08-23 }}</ref> One who sincerely apologizes three times for a wrong committed against another has fulfilled their obligation to seek forgiveness.<ref>[[Shulchan Aruch]] OC 606:1</ref> This means that in Judaism a person cannot obtain forgiveness from [[God in Judaism|God]] for wrongs they have done to other people. This also means that, unless the victim forgave the perpetrator before he died, [[Thou shalt not kill#Jewish doctrine|murder]] is unforgivable in Judaism, and they will answer to God for it, though the victims' family and friends can forgive the murderer for the grief they caused them. The ''[[Jewish prayer|Tefila]] Zaka'' [[Jewish meditation|meditation]], which is recited just before [[Yom Kippur]], closes with the following:

{{blockquote|I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or physically, through deed or speech. This pains my heart within me, because wrongs between humans and their fellow are not atoned by Yom Kippur, until the wronged one is appeased. Because of this, my heart breaks within me, and my bones tremble; for even the day of death does not atone for such sins. Therefore I prostrate and beg before You, to have mercy on me, and grant me grace, compassion, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all people. For behold, I forgive with a final and resolved forgiveness anyone who has wronged me, whether in person or property, even if they slandered me, or spread falsehoods against me. So I release anyone who has injured me either in person or in property, or has committed any manner of sin that one may commit against another [except for legally enforceable business obligations, and except for someone who has deliberately harmed me with the thought ‘I can harm him because he will forgive me']. Except for these two, I fully and finally forgive everyone; may no one be punished because of me. And just as I forgive everyone, so may You grant me grace in the eyes of others, that they too forgive me absolutely.}}

Thus the "reward" for forgiving others is not God's forgiveness for wrongs done to others, but rather help in obtaining forgiveness from the other person.

Sir [[Jonathan Sacks]], chief rabbi of the [[List of Chief Rabbis of the United Hebrew Congregations|United Hebrew Congregations]] of the Commonwealth, summarized: "It is not that God forgives, while human beings do not. To the contrary, we believe that just as only God can forgive sins against God, so only human beings can forgive sins against human beings."<ref>{{cite web|first=Jonathan|last=Sacks|date=2006-01-07 |url=http://www.chiefrabbi.org/thoughts/vayigash5766.pdf |title=The force of forgiveness|website=Covenant and Conversation |access-date=2009-02-07 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20090319205218/http://www.chiefrabbi.org/thoughts/vayigash5766.pdf |archive-date=2009-03-19 }}</ref>

Jews observe a Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, on the day before God makes decisions regarding what will happen during the coming year.<ref name = "Yom Kippur" /> [[Ten Days of Repentance|Just prior]] to Yom Kippur, Jews ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the prior year (if they have not already done so).<ref name = "Yom Kippur" /> During Yom Kippur itself, Jews [[Ta'anit|fast]] and pray for God's forgiveness for the [[Jewish views on sin|transgressions]] they have made against God in the prior year.<ref name = "Yom Kippur" /> Sincere [[Repentance in Judaism|repentance]] is required, and once again, God can only forgive one for the sins one has committed against God; this is why it is necessary for Jews also to seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.<ref name = "Yom Kippur" />

==== Christianity ====
[[File:Rembrandt Harmensz van Rijn - Return of the Prodigal Son - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|[[Rembrandt]] – "The Return of the [[Prodigal Son]]]]

{{blockquote|Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.|Jesus, {{Bibleverse|Matthew|5:7}}}}

Forgiveness is central to Christian ethics. The prayer Jesus taught his followers to recite begs God to "forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors".<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|6:12}}</ref> When Peter asked Jesus how often to forgive someone, Jesus said "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times".<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|18:22}}</ref> Jesus warned that God's forgiveness for your sins depends on your forgiveness towards others.<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|6:15}}</ref> In one of the gospels, Jesus during his crucifixion asks God to forgive those who crucified him.<ref>{{Bibleverse|Luke|23:34}}</ref>

[[Hannah Arendt]] stated that Jesus was "the discoverer of the role of forgiveness in the realm of human affairs."<ref>{{cite book|author-link=Hannah Arendt|first=Hannah|last=Arendt|chapter=Irreversibility and the Power to Forgive|title=The Human Condition|year=1958}}</ref>

=====God's forgiveness=====
Unlike in Judaism, in Christianity God can forgive sins committed by people against people, since he can forgive every sin except for the [[eternal sin]], and forgiveness from one's victim is not necessary for salvation.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm#1864|url-status=dead|title=Catechism of the Catholic Church 1864|website=www.vatican.va|accessdate=Mar 5, 2023|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20030401083618/https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm|archive-date=2003-04-01}}</ref> The [[Parable of the Prodigal Son]]<ref>{{cite web | year = 2006 | url = https://www.comparativereligion.com/prodigal.html | title = The Parable of the Prodigal Son in Christianity and Buddhism | access-date = 2009-02-03 | url-status = live | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20090201020909/http://comparativereligion.com/prodigal.html | archive-date = 2009-02-01 |author-first1=Ernest|author-last1=Valea}}</ref> is perhaps the best known parable about forgiveness and refers to God's forgiveness for those who repent. Jesus asked for God's forgiveness of those who [[Crucifixion of Jesus|crucified him]]. "Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" – {{Bibleverse|Luke|23:34|nrsvue}}

=====Forgiving others=====
Forgiving offenses is among the spiritual [[works of mercy]],<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a7.htm#2447|url-status=dead|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210422085518/https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a7.htm#2447|archive-date=2021-04-22|title=Catechism of the Catholic Church 2447|website=www.vatican.va|accessdate=Mar 5, 2023}}</ref> and forgiving others begets being forgiven by God.<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|6}}</ref> Considering [[Mark 11]]:25, and [[Matthew 6:14–15]], that follows the [[Lord's Prayer]], "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,"<ref>{{Bibleverse|Mark|11:25}}, {{Bibleverse|Matthew|6:14–15}}</ref> forgiveness is not an option to a Christian; rather one must forgive to be a Christian. Forgiveness in Christianity is a manifestation of submission to Christ and fellow believers.<ref>{{Cite journal|url=https://missiodeijournal.com/issues/md-9-2/authors/md-9-2-moore|first=Charles E.|last= Moore|title=Radical, Communal, Bearing Witness: The Church as God's Mission in Bruderhof Perspective and Practice|journal=Missio dei|volume=9|number=2|year=2018|access-date=2018-12-06}}</ref>

In the [[New Testament]], [[Jesus in Christianity|Jesus]] speaks of the importance of forgiving or showing [[Mercy#Christianity|mercy]] toward others. This is based on the belief that God forgives sins through faith in the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ in his death ([[1 John 2]]:2<ref>{{Bibleverse|1 John|2:2}}</ref>) and that, therefore, Christians should forgive others ([[Ephesians 4]]:32<ref>{{Bibleverse|Ephesians|4:32}}</ref>). Jesus used the [[Parable of the unforgiving servant|parable of the unmerciful servant]] ([[Matthew 18]]:21–35<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|18:21–35}}</ref>) to show that His followers (represented in the parable by the servant) should forgive because God (represented by the king) forgives much more.

In the [[Sermon on the Mount]], Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy."<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|5:7|nrsvue}}</ref> "So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift."<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|5:23–24|nsrvue}}</ref> "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses."<ref>{{Bibleverse|Mark|11:25|nrsvue}}</ref> "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."<ref>{{Bibleverse|Luke|6:36|nrsvue}}</ref> "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."<ref>{{Bibleverse|Luke|6:37|nrsvue}}</ref>

Elsewhere, it is said "Then Peter came and said to him, 'Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.'"<ref>{{Bibleverse|Matthew|18:21–22|nrsvue}}</ref>

=====Catholicism=====
The [[Catholic Church]] believes in God's grace of forgiveness of sin<ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_one/section_two/chapter_three/article_10/i_believe_in_the_forgiveness_of_sins.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 976]</ref> and in the necessity of contrition (repentance) for said forgiveness.<ref>[http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#brief Catechism of the Catholic Church 1492]</ref> God commands people to pray for forgiveness ("And forgive us our trespasses") because he wants to forgive sin, and for the same reason he grants the graces of contrition and prayer.<ref>[https://www.saintsbooks.net/books/The%20Roman%20Catechism.pdf Roman Catechism, "Confidence in God's Mercy"]</ref>  When God forgives a sin he - despite his [[omniscience]] - forgets about the sin, which is why at the particular and general judgments only unforgiven sins will be judged.<ref>[https://www.saintsbooks.net/books/The%20Roman%20Catechism.pdf Roman Catechism, "The Sentence of the Just"]</ref> God can forgive every and any sin, just as he did by his death on the Cross, but those who refuse said forgiveness at the moment of death commit the [[eternal sin]] of final impenitence.<ref name="catech">[https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P2O.HTM Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1033] {{webarchive |url=https://web.archive.org/web/20120609122435/https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P2O.HTM |date=9 June 2012 }}</ref> Final impenitence is not unforgivable because of God, but because the person refuses to repent (and so refuse forgiveness).<ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_one/section_two/chapter_three/article_12/iv_hell.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1037]</ref> God grants his graces of contrition, prayer, and forgiveness to everyone, thanks to his death on the Cross.<ref>[http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p1s2c1p3.htm#270 Catechism of the Catholic Church 270]</ref>

There are sacramental and non-sacramental ways to obtain God's forgiveness of sin. Sacramental ways include: Baptism (which forgives original sin, all venial and mortal sin, and all temporary and eternal punishment), Confession (which forgives all venial and mortal sin and all eternal punishment), the Eucharist (which forgives all venial sin), and the Anointing of the Sick (which forgives all venial and mortal sin and all eternal punishment).<ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_two.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1421]</ref><ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_one/article_1/vii_the_grace_of_baptism.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1263]</ref><ref>[https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/catechism/index.cfm?recnum=4263 Catechism of the Catholic Church 1393]</ref> Non-sacramental ways include: the works of mercy and perfect [[contrition]].<ref>[http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1451 Catechism of the Catholic Church 1452]</ref><ref>[http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#1434 Catechism of the Catholic Church 1434]</ref> Works of mercy can also be offered up for the partial forgiveness of the dead in [[Purgatory]],<ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_one/section_two/chapter_three/article_12/iii_the_final_purification,_or_purgatory.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1032]</ref> and partial and plenary indulgences can respectively obtain partial and full (plenary) forgiveness of temporary punishment - either for the person who obtains it or for the dead in Purgatory.<ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_two/article_4/x_indulgences.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1471]</ref> The [[Apostolic Pardon]] is a plenary indulgence that Catholics, dying in [[sanctifying grace]], can obtain for themselves.<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur467.htm |title=A Zenit Daily Dispatch: Indulgences at the Point of Death |last = McNamara | first = Father Edward |website=EWTN |date=2013-10-15 |access-date=2022-03-19 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20180711015102/https://www.ewtn.com/library/liturgy/zlitur467.htm |archive-date=2018-07-11}}</ref><ref>[http://www.hprweb.com/2012/10/questions-answered-7/ Brian Mullady, "Repetition of Apostolic Blessing with Plenary Indulgence?"]</ref> 

God is not bound by the church, so penitent non-Catholics and penitent excommunicated Catholics can obtain forgiveness - albeit by a means known only to God, who forgave the [[Penitent Thief]] just as he said: "Today you will be with me in Paradise."<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.setonmagazine.com/dad/john-clark/the-fathers-role/canonized-from-the-cross-how-st-dismas-shows-its-never-too-late-to-be-a-great-saint|title=Canonized from the Cross: How St Dismas Shows it's Never Too Late...|last=Clark|first=John|date=2015-04-03|website=Seton Magazine|language=en-US|access-date=2020-03-01}}</ref> [[Feeneyism]] (the belief that people outside the church cannot be saved from sin or hell) and double predestination (the belief that some people are predestined to commit sin and/or go to hell) are heresies.<ref>{{cite web | title=Letter of the Sacred Congregation of the Holy Office | url=http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/arch/cdffeeney.txt | archive-date=March 11, 2000 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20000311121352/http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/arch/cdffeeney.txt | date=August 8, 1949}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=http://www.ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDFFEENY.HTM|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20190403054851/http://www.ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDFFEENY.HTM|url-status=dead|archive-date=2019-04-03|title=Archbishop Richard J. Cushing|date=2019-04-03|access-date=2019-10-11}}</ref><ref>[https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_one/section_two/chapter_three/article_12/iv_hell.html Catechism of the Catholic Church 1037]</ref>

Pope [[Benedict XVI]], on a visit to [[Christianity in Lebanon|Lebanon]] in 2012, insisted that peace must be based on mutual forgiveness: "Only forgiveness, given and received, can lay lasting foundations for reconciliation and universal peace".<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/speeches/2012/september/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20120915_autorita.html|title=Address of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI|location=May 25th Hall of the Baabda Presidential Palace|date=15 September 2012|author=Benedict XVI |publisher=[[Holy See]] |access-date=2015-12-23 |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141024090318/https://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/speeches/2012/september/documents/hf_ben-xvi_spe_20120915_autorita_en.html |archive-date=24 October 2014 }}</ref>

[[Pope Francis]] during a [[Audience (meeting)|General Audience]] explained{{explain|date=July 2023}} forgiving others as God forgives oneself.<ref>{{Cite news|last=Watkins|first=Devin|url=https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2019-04/pope-francis-audience-our-father-forgiven-as-forgive.html|title=Pope at Audience: 'We are forgiven as we forgive others' |website=Vatican News|date=April 24, 2019}}</ref>

==== Islam ====
{{See also|Al-Ghafūr}}
{{Allah}}
[[Islam]] teaches that [[God in Islam|Allah]] is {{transliteration|ar|[[Al-Ghaffur]]}} "The Oft-Forgiving", and is the original source of all forgiveness ({{transliteration|ar|ghufran}} {{lang|ar|[[Wiktionary:غفران|غفران]]}}). Seeking forgiveness from [[Allah]] with [[Repentance in Islam|repentance]] is a [[Virtue#Islam|virtue]].<ref name="nnjre">{{multiref2
|1={{cite journal|last1=Abu-Nimer|last2=Nasser|year=2013|title=Forgiveness in The Arab and Islamic Contexts|journal=Journal of Religious Ethics|volume=41|number=3|pages=474–494|doi=10.1111/jore.12025 }}
|2={{qref|5|95|b=y}}
}}</ref><ref name="olq" />

{{Blockquote| (...) Allah has forgiven what has been done. But those who persist will be punished by Allah. And Allah is Almighty, capable of punishment.|{{qref|5|95|c=y}}}}

Islam [[Mustahabb|recommends]] forgiveness, because Allah values forgiveness. There are numerous verses in [[Quran]] and the [[Hadith]]s recommending forgiveness. Islam also allows [[Qisas|revenge]] to the extent of the harm done, but forgiveness is encouraged, with a promise of [[Thawab|reward]] from Allah.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite book|author=Mohammad Hassan Khalil|year=2012|title=Islam and the Fate of Others: The Salvation Question|publisher=Oxford University Press|pages=65–94|isbn=978-0199796663}}
|2={{qref|42|40|b=y}}
}}</ref>

{{Blockquote|The reward of an evil deed is its equivalent. But whoever pardons and seeks reconciliation, then their reward is with Allah. He certainly does not like the wrongdoers.|{{qref|42|40|c=y}}}}

{{transliteration|ar|Afw}} ([[Wiktionary:عفو|عفو]] is another term for forgiveness in Islam; it occurs 35 times in Quran, and in some [[Schools of Islamic theology|Islamic theological studies]], it is used interchangeably with {{transliteration|ar|ghufran}}.<ref name="nnjre" /><ref name="olq">{{cite book|first=Oliver|last=Leaman|year=2005|title=The Qur'an: An Encyclopedia|publisher=Routledge|isbn=978-0415326391|pages=213–216}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|last=Shah|first=S.S.|year=1996|title=Mercy Killing in Islam: Moral and Legal Issues|journal=Arab Law Quarterly|volume=11|number=2|pages=105–115|doi=10.2307/3381592 |jstor=3381592 }}</ref> {{transliteration|ar|Afw}} means to pardon, to excuse for a fault or an offense. According to Muhammad Amanullah,<ref name="maislam">{{cite book|last=Amanullah|first=M.|year=2004|chapter=Just Retribution (Qisas) Versus Forgiveness (‘Afw)|title=Islam: Past, Present and Future|pages=871–883}} International Seminar on Islamic Thoughts Proceedings, December 2004, Department of Theology and Philosophy, Faculty of Islamic Studies Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia</ref> forgiveness ({{transliteration|ar|'Afw}}) in Islam is derived from three wisdoms. The first and most important wisdom of forgiveness is that it is [[Mercy#Islam|merciful]] when the victim or [[Wali|guardian]] of the victim accepts money instead of revenge.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite journal|last=Gottesman|first=E.|year=1991|title=Reemergence of Qisas and Diyat in Pakistan|journal=Columbia Human Rights Law Review|volume=23|pages=433–439}}
|2={{cite journal|last1=Tsang|first1=J.A.|last2=McCullough|first2=M.E.|last3=Hoyt|first3=W.T.|year=2005|title=Psychometric and Rationalization Accounts of the Religion-Forgiveness Discrepancy|journal=Journal of Social Issues|volume=61|number=4|pages=785–805|doi=10.1111/j.1540-4560.2005.00432.x|doi-access=free}}
}}</ref> The second wisdom of forgiveness is that it increases the honor and prestige of the one who forgives.<ref name="maislam" /> Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, humiliation or dishonor.<ref name="olq" /> Rather, forgiveness is honorable, it raises the merit of the forgiver in the eyes of Allah, and it enables a forgiver to enter [[Jannah|paradise]].<ref name="maislam" /> The third wisdom of forgiveness is that, according to scholars such as al-Tabari and al-Qurtubi, forgiveness expiates ({{transliteration|ar|[[Fidyah and Kaffara|kaffarah]]}}) the forgiver from the sins they may have committed at other occasions in life.<ref name="olq" /><ref>{{cite journal|first=Khalil|last=Athamina|year=1992|title=Al-Qisas: its emergence, religious origin and its socio-political impact on early Muslim society|journal=Studia Islamica|number=76|pages=53–74|doi=10.2307/1595660|jstor=1595660 }}</ref> Forgiveness is a form of charity ({{transliteration|ar|[[Sadaqah|sadaqat]]}}). Forgiveness comes from {{transliteration|ar|[[taqwa]]}} (piety), a quality of [[Fear of God|God-fearing]] people.<ref name="maislam" />

==== Bahá'í Faith ====
In the [[Bahá'í literature|Bahá'í Writings]], this explanation is given of how to be forgiving toward others:
{{blockquote|Love the creatures for the sake of God and not for themselves. You will never become angry or impatient if you love them for the sake of God. Humanity is not perfect. There are imperfections in every human being, and you will always become unhappy if you look toward the people themselves. But if you look toward God, you will love them and be kind to them, for the world of God is the world of perfection and complete mercy. Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness.|[[`Abdu'l-Bahá]], ''The Promulgation of Universal Peace'', p. 92}}

===Dharmic===
==== Buddhism ====
In [[Buddhism]], forgiveness prevents harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one's mental well-being.<ref>{{cite web | year = 2006 | url = http://www.psychjourney.com/Buddhism%20Series.htm | website = Psychjourney |author=Chen Yu-Hsi|title= Introduction to Buddhism Series | access-date = 2006-06-19 | url-status = dead | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20060414062806/http://www.psychjourney.com/Buddhism%20Series.htm | archive-date = 2006-04-14 }}</ref> Buddhism recognizes that [[Vedanā|feelings]] of [[Dvesha (Buddhism)|hatred]] and [[Vyāpāda|ill-will]] leave a lasting effect on our mind-[[Karma in Buddhism|karma]]. Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts that leave a more wholesome effect. "In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing {{transliteration|pi|[[mettā]]}} and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all."<ref>{{cite journal | date = October 1997 | url = http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/article/universal_loving_kindness/#top | journal=Forest Sangha | number=42|title= Universal Loving Kindness |author=Ajahn Sumedho| access-date = 2009-02-07 | url-status = dead | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20081210082606/http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/article/universal_loving_kindness/#top | archive-date = 2008-12-10 }}</ref> When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots{{explain|date=July 2023}}. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through [[Buddhist meditation|meditation]] and receiving insight into the nature of [[Reality in Buddhism|reality]].
Buddhism questions the reality of the [[Raga (Buddhism)|passions]] that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions.<ref>{{cite web | year = 2006 | first=Joseph S.|last=O'Leary|url = https://josephsoleary.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/02/buddhist_and_fo.html | title = Buddhism and Forgiveness | access-date = 2009-02-07 | url-status = live | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20081208080949/http://josephsoleary.typepad.com/my_weblog/buddhism/index.html | archive-date = 2008-12-08 }}</ref> "If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers."<ref>{{cite web | year = 2004 | url = http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/article/preparing_for_death/#top | author=Ajahn Pasanno| website= Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery |title= Preparing for Death | access-date = 2006-06-19 | url-status = dead | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20060118231818/http://www.abhayagiri.org/index.php/main/article/preparing_for_death/#top | archive-date = 2006-01-18 }}</ref>

Buddhism places much emphasis on the concepts of {{transliteration|pi|mettā}} (loving-kindness), {{transliteration|pi|[[Karuṇā|karuna]]}} (compassion), {{transliteration|pi|[[mudita]]}} (sympathetic joy), and {{transliteration|pi|[[upekkhā]]}} (equanimity), as a means to avoiding resentments in the first place. These reflections are used to understand the context of suffering in the world, both our own and the suffering of others.

{{blockquote|"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me" — in those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease.
"He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me" — in those who do not harbor such thoughts hatred will cease."|[[Dhammapada]] 1.3–4 ([[Dhammapada (Radhakrishnan translation)|trans. Radhakrishnan]])<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.01.than.html|title=Yamakavagga: Pairs|year=1997|website=Access to Insight|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20090415034956/http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/dhp.01.than.html |archive-date=2009-04-15|translator=Thanissaro Bikkhu}}</ref>}}

{{anchor|Hinduism}}

==== Dharma ====
{{Main|Kshama}}
[[File:Holi Feest 2008 meisjes.jpg|thumb|[[Holi]] is the Hindu festival of colors, celebrated in spring. Traditionally, this is also a day to mark forgiveness, meet others, and repair relationships.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite journal|last=Agarwal|first=R.|year=2013|url=http://forum.tci-thaijo.org/index.php/sujsha/article/view/7501|url-status=dead|title=Water Festivals of Thailand: The Indian Connection|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131102204158/http://forum.tci-thaijo.org/index.php/sujsha/article/view/7501 |archive-date=2013-11-02 |location=Silpakorn University|journal= Journal of Social Sciences, Humanities, and Arts|pages=7–18}}
|2={{cite web|url=https://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/266312/Hinduism/59795/Vaishnava-rites|url-status=dead|title=Vaishnava Rites|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131007055612/https://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/266312/Hinduism/59795/Vaishnava-rites |archive-date=2013-10-07 |at=Sacred times and festivals|website= Encyclopædia Britannica |year=2009}} }}</ref> In Indonesia, among Balinese Hindus, Ngembak Geni — the day after [[Nyepi]] – is the ritual festive day in spring to meet, and both seek forgiveness and forgive each other.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.indo.com/culture/nyepi.html|title=Bali's day of silence|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20090131115634/http://indo.com/culture/nyepi.html |archive-date=2009-01-31 |website=Bali & Indonesia on the Net|year=2010}}</ref>]]

In [[Vedic period#Literature|Vedic literature]] and [[Indian epic poetry|epics]] of [[Hinduism]], {{transliteration|sa|ksama}} or {{transliteration|sa|kshyama}} ([[Sanskrit]]: [[Wiktionary:क्षमा|क्षमा]])<ref>{{cite web|url=http://spokensanskrit.de/index.php?script=HK&beginning=0+&tinput=forgiveness+&trans=Translate&direction=AU|url-status=dead|title=Forgiveness|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131102133347/http://spokensanskrit.de/index.php?script=HK&beginning=0+&tinput=forgiveness+&trans=Translate&direction=AU |archive-date=2013-11-02 |website=English-Sanskrit Dictionary, Spoken Sanskrit|location=Germany|year=2010}}</ref> and fusion words based on it, name the concept of forgiveness. The word {{transliteration|sa|ksama}} is often combined with {{transliteration|sa|kripa}} (tenderness), {{transliteration|sa|daya}} (kindness), and {{transliteration|sa|karuna}} ([[Wiktionary:करुणा|करुणा]], compassion) in [[Sanskrit literature|Sanskrit texts]].<ref name="mpt">{{cite book|first1=Michael E.|last1=McCullough|first2=Kenneth I.|last2=Pargament|first3=Carl E.|last3=Thoresen|year=2001|title=Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice|publisher=The Guildford Press|isbn=978-1572307117|pages=21–39}}</ref> In [[Rigveda|the Rigveda]], forgiveness is discussed in verses dedicated to the deity Varuna, both the context of the one who has done wrong and the one who is wronged.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite book|translator-first=Ralph|translator-last=Griffith|title=The Hymns of RugVeda|publisher=Motilal Banarsidas|year=1973}}
|2={{cite journal|last=Hunter|first=Alan|year=2007|title=Forgiveness: Hindu and Western Perspectives|journal=[[Journal of Hindu-Christian Studies]]|volume=20|number=1|page=11|doi=10.7825/2164-6279.1386 |doi-access=free}}
}}</ref> Forgiveness is considered one of the six cardinal virtues in Hindu Dharma.

The theological basis for forgiveness in Hindu Dharma is that a person who does not forgive carries a baggage of memories of the wrong, of negative feelings, and of [[Anger#Hinduism|anger]], and unresolved emotions that affect their present as well as future. In Hindu Dharma, not only should one forgive others, but one must also seek forgiveness if one has wronged someone else.<ref name="mpt" /> Forgiveness is to be sought from the individual wronged, as well as society at large, utilizing [[Dāna#Hinduism|charity]], [[Ritual purification#Hinduism|purification]], [[Vrata#Hinduism|fasting]], [[Hinduism#Rituals|rituals]], and [[Dhyana in Hinduism|meditative]] introspection.

Forgiveness is further refined in Hindu Dharma by rhetorically contrasting it in feminine and masculine forms. In the feminine form, one form of forgiveness is explained through [[Lakshmi]] (called [[Hindu deities|Goddess]] Sri in some parts of India); the other form is explained in the masculine form through her husband [[Vishnu]].<ref name="mpt" /> Feminine Lakshmi forgives even when the one who does wrong does not repent. Masculine Vishnu, on the other hand, forgives only when the wrongdoer repents. In Hindu Dharma, the feminine forgiveness granted without repentance by Lakshmi is higher and more noble than the masculine forgiveness granted only after there is repentance. In the Hindu epic [[Ramayana]], [[Sita]] – the wife of King [[Rama]] – is symbolically eulogized for forgiving a crow even as it harms her. Later in the epic Ramayana, she is eulogized again for forgiving those who harass her while she has been kidnapped in [[Lanka]].<ref name="mpt" /> Many other Hindu stories discuss forgiveness with or without repentance.<ref>{{cite book|last=Ransley|first=Cynthia|year=2004|title=Forgiveness: Themes and issues. Forgiveness and the healing process: A central therapeutic concern|isbn=1-58391-182-0|publisher=Brunner-Routledge|pages=10–32}}</ref>

The concept of forgiveness is treated in extensive debates within Hindu literature. In some [[Hindu texts]],<ref>See ''Manusamhita'', 11.55, ''Mahabharata'' Vol. II, 1022:8</ref> certain [[Sin#Hinduism|sins]] and intentional acts are debated as naturally unforgivable, for example, murder and rape; these ancient scholars argue whether blanket forgiveness is [[Hindu ethics|morally]] justifiable in every circumstance, and whether forgiveness encourages crime, disrespect, social disorder, and people not taking you seriously.<ref>{{cite book|first=Prafulla|last=Mohapatra|year=2008|title=Ethics and Society|publisher=Concept Publishing|isbn=978-8180695230|pages=22–25}}</ref>

Other ancient Hindu texts highlight that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness in Hindu Dharma does not necessarily require that one reconcile with the offender, nor does it rule out reconciliation in some situations. Instead forgiveness in Hindu philosophy is being [[Compassion#Hinduism|compassionate]], tender, kind, and letting go of the harm or hurt caused by someone or something else.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Temoshok|first1=Lydia R.|last2=Chandra|first2=Prabha S.|title=Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice|publisher=The Guildford Press|isbn=978-1572307117| editor-last1=McCullough | editor-first1=Michael E. | editor-last2=Pargament | editor-first2=Kenneth I. | editor-last3=Thoresen | editor-first3=Carl E. | chapter=The Meaning of Forgiveness in a Specific Situational and Cultural Context|date=28 August 2001 }}</ref> Forgiveness is essential for one to free oneself from negative thoughts, and to be able to focus on blissfully living a moral and ethical life (a ''dharmic'' life).<ref name="mpt" /> In the highest self-realized state, forgiveness becomes the essence of one's personality, where the persecuted person remains unaffected, without agitation, without feeling like a victim, free from [[Arishadvargas|anger]] ({{transliteration|sa|akrodhi}}).<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite book|last=Radhakrishnan|first=Sarvepalli|year=1995|title=Religion and Society|location=Indus|publisher=Harper Collins India}}
|2={{cite book|last=Sinha|first=Jadunath|year=1985|title=Indian psychology|volume=2 (Emotion and Will)|publisher=Motilal Banarsidas|location=New Delhi}}
}}</ref>

Other epics and ancient literature of Hindu Dharma discuss forgiveness. For example:

{{Blockquote|<poem>Forgiveness is virtue; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is the Vedas; forgiveness is the Shruti.
Forgiveness protecteth the ascetic merit of the future; forgiveness is asceticism; forgiveness is holiness; and by forgiveness is it that the universe is held together.</poem>|[[Mahabharata]], Book 3, Vana Parva, Section XXIX<ref>{{cite book|chapter-url=https://www.gutenberg.org/files/15474/15474-h/15474-h.htm#link2H_4_0322|chapter=Vana Parva|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130327231954/http://www.gutenberg.org/files/15474/15474-h/15474-h.htm |archive-date=2013-03-27|at=Section XXIX|title=Mahabharata|volume=I|year=1896|author= Krishna-Dwaipayana Vyasa|translator=Kisari Mohan Ganguli}}</ref>}}

{{Blockquote|Righteousness is the one highest good, forgiveness is the one supreme peace, knowledge is one supreme contentment, and benevolence, one sole happiness.|[[Mahabharata]], Book 5, Udyoga Parva, Section XXXIII<ref>{{cite book|chapter-url=https://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/m05/m05033.htm|chapter=Udyoga Parva, chapter XXXIII|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131012081817/http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/m05/m05033.htm |archive-date=2013-10-12|title=Mahabharata|translator=Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli}}</ref>}}

{{Blockquote|text=<poem>
Janak asked: "Oh lord, how does one attain wisdom? how does liberation happen?"
Ashtavakra replied: "Oh beloved, if you want liberation, then renounce imagined passions as poison, take forgiveness, innocence, compassion, contentment and truth as nectar; (...)"
</poem>|sign=[[Ashtavakra Gita]]<ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.osho.com/osho-online-library/osho-talks/krishna-yoga-janak-2a36cc7b-0cd?p=9dcf65d6ecc65c6bb95af1370350e875|title=Ashtavakra Gita, Chapter 1, Verse 2|newspaper=Osho – Transform Yourself Through the Science of Meditation |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131029002436/http://www.osho.com/library/online-library-janak-ashtavakra-statements-b14e68d3-99b.aspx |archive-date=2013-10-29 |translator=OSHO|year=2008}}
* Original: मुक्तिं इच्छसि चेत्तात विषयान् विषवत्त्यज । '''क्षमा'''र्जवदयातोषसत्यं पीयूषवद् भज || 2 ||
* Ashtavakra Gita has over 10 translations, each different; the above is closest consensus version</ref><ref>{{cite book | last=Mukerjee | first=Radhakamal | title=Aṣṭāvakragītā (the Song of the Self Supreme): The Classical Text of Ātmādvaita by Aṣṭāvakra | publisher=Motilal Banarsidass Publ. | date=1971 | isbn=978-81-208-1367-0 | page=}}</ref>}}

====Jainism====
{{See also|Micchami Dukkadam|Kshamavani}}
In [[Jainism]], forgiveness is one of the main virtues that Jains should cultivate. {{transliteration|sa|Kṣamāpanā}}, or supreme forgiveness, forms part of one of the ten characteristics of {{transliteration|sa|[[Dharma (Jainism)|dharma]]}}.<ref>{{cite book|last=Varni|first=Jinendra|postscript=; Samaṇ Suttaṁ; Ed. Prof. Sagarmal Jain|title=Translated Justice|editor-first1=T.K.|editor-last1=Tukol|editor-first2=K.K.|editor-last2=Dixit|year=1993|location=New Delhi|publisher=Bhagwan Mahavir memorial Samiti|at=verse 84}}</ref> In the Jain prayer, ({{transliteration|sa|[[pratikramana]]}}) Jains repeatedly seek forgiveness from various creatures—even from {{transliteration|sa|ekindriyas}} or single-sensed [[Jain terms and concepts#Classes of beings|beings]] like plants and microorganisms that they may have harmed while eating and doing routine activities.<ref>{{cite book | last =Jaini | first =Padmanabh | title =Collected Papers on Jaina Studies | publisher =Motilal Banarsidass Publ. | year =2000 | location =Delhi | isbn =978-81-208-1691-6 |page=285}}</ref> Forgiveness is asked by uttering the phrase, {{transliteration|pra|micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ}}—a [[Prakrit language]] phrase literally meaning "may all the evil that has been done be fruitless."<ref>{{cite book | last=Chapple | first=Christopher Key | title=Jainism and Ecology: Nonviolence in the Web of Life | location=Delhi|publisher=Motilal Banarsidass Publishers | date=2006 | isbn=978-81-208-2045-6 | page=46}}</ref> During {{transliteration|sa|[[samvatsari]]}}—the last day of Jain festival {{transliteration|sa|[[paryusana]]}}—Jains utter the phrase {{transliteration|pra|micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ}} after {{transliteration|sa|[[pratikraman]]}}. As a matter of [[Jain rituals|ritual]], they personally greet their friends and relatives with {{transliteration|pra|micchāmi dukkaḍaṃ}}, seeking their forgiveness. No private quarrel or dispute may be carried beyond {{transliteration|sa|samvatsari}}, and letters and telephone calls are made to the outstation{{technical inline|date=July 2023}} friends and relatives asking their forgiveness.<ref>{{cite book|last=Hastings|first=James|year=2003|title=Encyclopedia of Religion and Ethics|volume=10|publisher=Kessinger Publishing|isbn=978-0-7661-3682-3|page=876}}</ref>

{{transliteration|sa|Pratikraman}} also contains the following prayer:<ref>{{cite book | last =Jaini | first =Padmanabh | title =Collected Papers on Jaina Studies | publisher =Motilal Banarsidass Publ. | year =2000 | location =Delhi | isbn =978-81-208-1691-6 |pages=18 and 224}}</ref>
<blockquote>
{{transliteration|pra|Khāmemi savva-jīve savvë jive khamantu me / <br />
metti me savva-bhūesu, veraṃ mejjha na keṇavi //}}

(I ask pardon of all creatures, may all creatures pardon me.<br />
May I have friendship with all beings and enmity with none.)
</blockquote>

In their daily prayers and {{transliteration|sa|[[samayika]]}}, Jains recite {{transliteration|pra|Iryavahi sutra}}, seeking forgiveness from all creatures while involved in routine activities:<ref>{{cite book|translator-first=Nagin J.|translator-last=Shah|translator-first2=Madhu|translator-last2=Sen|year=1993|title=Concept of Pratikramana|location=Ahmedabad|publisher=Gujarat Vidyapith|pages=25–26}}</ref>
<blockquote>
May you, O Revered One! Voluntarily permit me. I would like to confess my sinful acts committed while walking. I honour your permission. I desire to absolve myself of the sinful acts by confessing them. I seek forgiveness from all those living beings which I may have tortured while walking, coming and going, treading on living organisms, seeds, green grass, dew drops, ant hills, moss, live water, live earth, spider webs, and others. I seek forgiveness from all these living beings, be they — one-sensed, two-sensed, three-sensed, four-sensed, or five-sensed. I may have kicked, covered with dust, rubbed with ground, collided with another, turned upside down, tormented, frightened, shifted from one place to another, or killed and deprived them of their lives. (By confessing) may I be absolved of all these sins.
</blockquote>

Jain texts quote [[Mahavira|Māhavīra]] on forgiveness:<ref>{{cite book | translator-last =Jacobi | translator-first =Hermann | translator-link =Hermann Jacobi | editor =[[Max Müller|F. Max Müller]] | title =The Uttarādhyayana Sūtra | publisher =The Clarendon Press | year =1895 | location =Oxford | language =en | url =https://www.sacred-texts.com/jai/sbe45/index.htm | series =[[Sacred Books of the East|Sacred Books of the East vol.45, Part 2]] | isbn =978-0-7007-1538-1 | url-status =live | archive-url =https://web.archive.org/web/20090704214930/http://www.sacred-texts.com/jai/sbe45/index.htm | archive-date =2009-07-04 }} ''Note: ISBN refers to the UK:Routledge (2001) reprint. URL is the scanned version of the original 1895 reprint.''</ref>

{{blockquote|By practicing {{transliteration|sa|[[Prāyaścitta|prāyaṣcitta]]}} (repentance), a soul gets rid of sins, and commits no transgressions; he who correctly practices {{transliteration|sa|prāyaṣcitta}} gains the road and the reward of the road, he wins the reward of good conduct. By begging forgiveness he obtains happiness of mind; thereby he acquires a kind disposition towards all kinds of living beings; by this kind disposition he obtains purity of character and freedom from fear.|Māhavīra in '' [[Uttaradhyayana|Uttarādhyayana Sūtra]]'' 29:17–18}}

The code of conduct among [[Jain monasticism|monks]] requires them to ask forgiveness for all transgressions:<ref>{{cite book | last =Jacobi | first =Hermann | author-link =Hermann Jacobi | editor =[[Max Müller|F. Max Müller]] | title =The Kalpa Sūtra | publisher =The Clarendon Press | year =1884 | location =Oxford | language =en | url =https://www.sacred-texts.com/jai/sbe22/sbe2200.htm | series =[[Sacred Books of the East]] | volume=22, Part 1| isbn =978-0-7007-1538-1 | url-status =live | archive-url =https://web.archive.org/web/20070929151006/http://www.sacred-texts.com/jai/sbe22/sbe2200.htm | archive-date =2007-09-29 }} ''Note: ISBN refers to the UK:Routledge (2001) reprint. URL is the scanned version of the original 1884'' reprint.</ref>
{{blockquote|If among monks or nuns occurs a quarrel or dispute or dissension, the young monk should ask forgiveness of the superior, and the superior of the young monk. They should forgive and ask forgiveness, appease and be appeased, and converse without restraint. For him who is appeased, there will be success (in control); for him who is not appeased, there will be no success; therefore one should appease one's self. "Why has this been said, Sir? Peace is the essence of monasticism."|''Kalpa Sūtra'' 8:59}}

===Other===
==== {{lang|haw|Hoʻoponopono}} ====
{{lang|haw|[[Hoʻoponopono]]}} is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, combined with prayer. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the [[Oceania|South Pacific]], including Samoa, Tahiti, and New Zealand. Traditionally {{lang|haw|Hoʻoponopono}} is practiced by healing priests or {{lang|haw|[[kahuna]] lapaʻau}} among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone.

== Popular recognition ==
The need to forgive is widely recognized, but people are often at a loss for ways to accomplish it. For example, in a large representative sampling of American people on various religious topics in 1988, the Gallup Organization found that 94% said it was important to forgive, but 85% said they needed some outside help to be able to forgive. However, not even regular prayer was found to be effective.

Akin to forgiveness is [[mercy]], so even if a person is not able to complete the forgiveness process they can still show mercy, especially when so many wrongs are done out of weakness rather than malice. The [[Gallup poll]] revealed that the only effective mediator was engagement in "[[meditation|meditative prayer]]".<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Gorsuch | first1 = R. L. | last2 = Hao | first2 = J. Y. | year = 1993 | title = Forgiveness: An exploratory factor analysis and its relationship to religious variables | url = https://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=96262671 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20040921041403/http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=96262671 | url-status = dead | archive-date = 2004-09-21 | journal = Review of Religious Research | volume = 34 | issue = 4 | pages = 351–363 | doi = 10.2307/3511971 | jstor = 3511971 }}</ref>

Forgiveness as a tool has been extensively used in such areas as [[restorative justice]] programs,<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.breakingthecycle.com/about|title=About Breaking the Cycle, A project of the Bruderhof|website=www.breakingthecycle.com|access-date=2020-01-18}}</ref> after the abolition of [[apartheid]] in the [[Truth and Reconciliation Commission (South Africa)|truth and reconciliation]] process, among victims and perpetrators of [[Rwandan genocide]], in response to the violence in the [[Israeli–Palestinian conflict]] and the [[Northern Ireland conflict]]. This has been documented in the film ''[[Beyond Right and Wrong: Stories of Justice and Forgiveness]]'' (2012).<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite news |author-first1=Giles|author-last1=Fraser|title=The key to forgiveness is the refusal to seek revenge |url=https://www.theguardian.com/uk/belief/2013/feb/08/key-forgiveness-refusal-seek-revenge |work=The Guardian |date=8 February 2013 |access-date=Feb 21, 2013 |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140324002701/http://www.theguardian.com/uk/belief/2013/feb/08/key-forgiveness-refusal-seek-revenge |archive-date=24 March 2014 }}
|2={{cite web|title=Beyond Right & Wrong: Stories of Justice and Forgiveness|url=http://theforgivenessproject.com/beyond-right-wrong-stories-of-justice-and-forgiveness/|date=February 1, 2013|publisher=Forgiveness Project|access-date=February 22, 2013|url-status=dead|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130302112321/http://theforgivenessproject.com/beyond-right-wrong-stories-of-justice-and-forgiveness/|archive-date=March 2, 2013}}
}}</ref>

Forgiveness is associated with the theory of [[emotion]] because it draws from a person's emotional connection with the situation. Forgiveness is something that most people are taught to understand and practice at a young age.

== In relationships ==
[[File:Marriage Forgiveness.jpg|thumb|Forgiveness in marriage]]
Forgiveness in marriage is important.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Fincham |first1=Frank D. |last2=Hall |first2=Julie |last3=Beach |first3=Steven R.H. |date=October 2006 |title=Forgiveness in Marriage: Current Status and Future Directions |url=https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2005.callf.x-i1 |journal=Family Relations |language=en |volume=55 |issue=4 |pages=415–427 |doi=10.1111/j.1741-3729.2005.callf.x-i1 |issn=0197-6664}}</ref> When two people can forgive each other this contributes to a [[Happiness|happy]] marriage. Forgiveness can help prevent problems from growing and aid in conflict resolution.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006">{{cite journal|last1=Fincham|first1=F.|last2=Hall|first2=J.|last3=Beach|first3=S.|year=2006|volume=55|number=4|title=Forgiveness In Marriage: Current Status And Future Directions|journal=Family Relations|pages=415–427|doi=10.1111/j.1741-3729.2005.callf.x-i1}}</ref> In a dating relationship as opposed to a married relationship, couples are less likely to acknowledge transgressions surrounding the relationship and more likely to forgive each other without conditions, as well as being more understanding towards their partners.<ref>{{cite journal |last1=Sheldon |first1=Pavica |last2=Antony |first2=Mary Grace |title=Forgive and Forget: A Typology of Transgressions and Forgiveness Strategies in Married and Dating Relationships |journal=Western Journal of Communication |date=2019 |volume=83 |issue=2 |pages=232–251 |doi=10.1080/10570314.2018.1504981 }}</ref>

Depending on the severity of the transgression, partners may engage in different communication behaviors to seek or grant forgiveness. <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Sheldon |first1=Pavica |last2=Antony |first2=Mary Grace |title=Forgive and Forget: A Typology of Transgressions and Forgiveness Strategies in Married and Dating Relationships |journal=Western Journal of Communication |date=2019 |volume=83 |issue=2 |pages=232–251 |doi=10.1080/10570314.2018.1504981 }}</ref>

Merolla distinguished two types of forgiveness, conditional and indirect forgiveness, and direct forgiveness. <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Merolla |first1=Andy J. |title=Communicating forgiveness in friendships and dating relationships |journal=Communication Studies |date=2008 |volume=2 |issue=59 |pages=114–131}}</ref>

Direct and conditional forgiveness involve discussion about the incident, where the forgiving person is straightforward and clear in telling the offender that they forgive them, usually saying something like “I forgive you”, or “You are forgiven”.  

Indirect forgiveness reflects on minimizing the conflict. With this type of forgiveness, forgivers do not make it explicitly clear to their offender that they are forgiven, rather it is just ‘understood’. This could come from tactics like humor, eye contact, hugging, or reverting back to acting normal, or how things were before the transgression. Therefore indirect forgiveness is less appropriate following a more severe incident that is usually followed by great hurt and anger, and more appropriate for smaller transgressions like minor disagreements or fights. <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Kelley |first1=Douglas, L. |last2=Waldron |first2=Vincent, R. |title=An Investigation of Forgiveness-seeking Communication and Relational Outcomes |journal=Communication Quarterly |date=2005 |volume=3 |issue=53 |pages=339–358 |doi=10.1080/01463370500101097 }}</ref>

There is also conditional forgiveness, in which people forgive their offender, but with conditions. The offender is forgiven in this case, but there are stipulations surrounding the forgivers' forgiveness. This could be something where the offender makes a deal not to do something again that might have led to the transgression, like drinking. 

In a 2005 study, researchers investigated whether forgiveness is important in a marriage. When does forgiveness usually accrue—before an argument or after an argument? Does forgiveness take a role when a person breaks a promise? etc.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" /> Researchers found six components that were related to forgiveness in marriage: satisfaction, ambivalence, conflict, attributions, empathy, and commitment.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" />

Sheldon et al. conducted a study in which they surveyed both married and dating couples on past relational transgressions, the communication strategies used to grant forgiveness, the degree of forgiveness within a specific relationship, and the ratings of relationship satisfaction. <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Sheldon |first1=Pavica |last2=Gilchrist-Petty |first2=Eletra |last3=Lessley |first3=James Adam |title=The Relationship Between Forgiveness Tendency, Communication of Forgiveness, and Relationship Satisfaction in Married and Dating Couples |journal=Communication Reports |date=2014 |volume=27 |issue=2 |pages=78–90 |doi=10.1080/08934215.2014.902486 }}</ref>

The severity of the transgression was measured by three different items, and rated on a scale of severity. Of the forgiving strategies, five emerged and were rated on the frequency of their use. Forgiveness tendency (how likely couples were to forgive) was measured in five terms and rated on how likely couples were to agree to forgive, and relationship satisfaction was measured using Hendrick’s Relationship Assessment Scale, which aimed to help understand how satisfied couples were with their relationship after having gone through some sort of transgression and then the forgiveness process. 

Interestingly, the results of this study showed in married partners, the tendency to forgive was positively related to the use of minimizing and nonverbal forgiveness strategies. <ref>{{cite journal |last1=Sheldon |first1=Pavica |last2=Gilchrist-Petty |first2=Eletra |last3=Lessley |first3=James Adam |title=The Relationship Between Forgiveness Tendency, Communication of Forgiveness, and Relationship Satisfaction in Married and Dating Relationships |journal=Communication Reports |date=2014 |volume=27 |issue=2 |pages=78–90 |doi=10.1080/08934215.2014.902486 }}</ref> But, when it came to the severity of the transgression, the tendency or likelihood of forgiveness had no relation to any use of any given forgiveness strategy. 

On the other hand, in dating relationships, the tendency to forgive was positively correlated with the use of nonverbal and explicit strategy, as was the transgression severity. 
Overall, this study showed that both married and dating couples who experienced similar amounts of transgressions did not differ largely in their satisfaction in the relationship after the forgiveness had occurred.

While forgiveness is massively important for married couples, it is also incredibly important for those in dating relationships.

People in a relationship believe that forgiveness means you must forget what had happened.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" /> When couples forgive their spouses they sometimes need help from professionals to overcome the pain that might remain.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" /> Researchers described differences between how each individual perceives the situation based on who is in pain and who caused the pain.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" />

The act and effects of forgiveness can vary depending on the relationship status between people. Whether you are married, friends, or acquaintances, the process of forgiving is similar but not completely the same.<ref>{{cite journal |last1=Fow |first1=Neil Robert |title=The Phenomenology of Forgiveness and Reconciliation |journal=Journal of Phenomenological Psychology |date=1996 |volume=27 |issue=2 |pages=219–233 |doi=10.1163/156916296X00113 }}</ref>

===The model of forgiveness===

"Enright's model of forgiveness has received empirical support and sees forgiveness as a journey through four phases":<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" />

; Uncovering phase: Emphases exploring the pain that the person has experienced.
; Decision phase: The nature of forgiveness is discussed. The person commits that they will try to forgive the transgressor.
; Work phase: The focus shifts to the transgressor to gain insight and understanding.
; Deepening phase: The victim moves toward resolution, becoming aware that he/she is not alone, having been the recipient of others' forgiveness, and finds meaning and purpose in the forgiveness process.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" />

When married couples argue they tend to focus on who is right and who is wrong.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" />

===Recommendation and interventions===

The researchers also came up with recommendations for practitioners and interventions to help married individuals communicate with each other, to resolve problems, and to forgive each other more easily.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" /> For example, people should explore and understand what forgiveness means before starting any intervention because preconceived ideas of forgiveness can cause problems with couples being open to forgiving.<ref name="Fincham Hall Beach 2006" /> For example, a person not forgiving their spouse out of fear that the spouse might think that they are weak can cause a conflict.

In 2001, Charlotte vanOyen-Witvliet asked people to think about someone who had hurt, wronged, or offended them. As they thought to answer, she observed their reaction. She observed their blood pressure, heart rate, facial muscle tension, and sweat gland activity. Recalling the grudge increased the candidates’ blood pressure and heart rate, and they sweated more. The rumination was stressful and unpleasant. When they adopted forgiveness, they showed no more of an anxiety reaction than normal wakefulness produces.<ref>{{cite journal |title=Granting Forgiveness or Harboring Grudges: Implications for Emotion, Physiology, and Health |journal=Psychological Science |volume=12 |issue=2 |pages=117–123 |date=2001-03-01 |doi=10.1111/1467-9280.00320 |pmid=11340919 |last1=vanOyen-Witvliet|first1=Charlotte|last2=Ludwig |first2=Thomas E. |last3=Laan |first3=Kelly L. Vander |s2cid=473643 |url=https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2300&context=faculty_publications }}</ref>

== Interventions ==
Psychology researchers agree that the purpose of forgiveness interventions is to decrease the overall negative effect associated with the stimulus{{vague|date=July 2023}} and increase the individual's positive affect.<ref name="Understanding concerns">{{Cite journal|title = Understanding concerns about interventions to promote forgiveness: A review of the literature.|journal = Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training|year = 2008|volume = 45|issue = 1|doi = 10.1037/0033-3204.45.1.88|pmid = 22122367|first1 = Nathaniel G.|last1 = Wade|first2 = Chad V.|last2 = Johnson|first3 = Julia E.|last3 = Meyer|pages=88–102}}</ref><ref name="Wade Bailey Schaffer 2005">{{cite journal|last1=Wade|first1=Nathaniel G.|last2=Bailey|first2=Donna C.|last3=Shaffer|first3=Philip|title=Helping Clients Heal: Does Forgiveness Make a Difference?|journal=Professional Psychology: Research and Practice|year=2005|volume=36|issue=6|pages=634–641|doi=10.1037/0735-7028.36.6.634}}</ref>

The incorporation of forgiveness into therapy has been lacking,<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> but has gained popularity.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> The growth of forgiveness in psychology has given rise to the study of forgiveness interventions.<ref name="Understanding concerns" />

A meta-analysis of group-based forgiveness interventions examined how well they increase self-reported forgiveness (or decrease "unforgiveness"). It concluded that "The data appear to speak clearly: Forgiveness interventions are effective."<ref>{{cite book|first1=Nathanie|last1=Wade|first2=Everett|last2=Worthington|first3=Julia|last3=Meyer|chapter=But Do They Work? A Meta-Analysis of Group Interventions to Promote Forgiveness|title=Handbook of Forgiveness|year=2005}}</ref>

=== Different types ===
There are various forms of forgiveness interventions.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> One is where patients are forced to confront the entity{{vague|date=July 2023}} that prevents them from forgiving by using introspective techniques and expressing this to the therapist.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /><ref name="Wade Bailey Schaffer 2005" /> Another is getting the person to try to see things from the offender's point of view, so that they may understand the reasoning behind the offender's actions.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /><ref name="Wade Bailey Schaffer 2005" /> If they can do this, they might be able to forgive the offender more easily.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /><ref name="Wade Bailey Schaffer 2005" />

Researchers have studied forgiveness interventions in relationships and whether or not prayer increases forgiveness. One study found that praying for a friend or thinking positive thoughts about that person every day for four weeks positively boosts the chances of forgiving that friend or partner, which leads to a better relationship.<ref>{{multiref2
|1={{cite journal |last1=Lambert |first1=Nathaniel |title=Motivating Change in Relationships: Can Prayer Increase Forgiveness? |url=https://www.jstor.org/stable/41062174 |journal=Psychological Science |year=2010 |volume=21 |issue=1 |pages=126–132 |location=Los Angeles, Calif.|publisher=SAGE Publications |doi=10.1177/0956797609355634 |jstor=41062174 |pmid=20424033 |s2cid=20228955}}
|2={{cite journal|last1=Beach|first1=S.R.H.|last2=Fincham|first2=F.D.|last3=Hurt|first3=T.|last4=McNair|first4=L.M.|last5=Stanley|first5=S.M.|year=2008|title=Prayer and marital intervention: A conceptual framework|journal=Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology|volume=27|issue=7 |pages=641–669|doi=10.1521/jscp.2008.27.7.641 |pmid=20054450 |pmc=2802219}}
}}</ref>

=== Contrary evidence ===
There is, however, conflicting evidence on the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions, and some researchers have taken a critical approach to the forgiveness intervention approach to therapy.<ref name="Understanding concerns" />

Critics argued that forgiveness interventions may cause an increase in negative affect because they try to inhibit the person's feelings towards the offender. This can result in the person feeling negatively towards themself.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> This approach implies that the negative emotions the person is feeling are unacceptable and feelings of forgiveness are correct and acceptable. This might inadvertently promote feelings of shame and contrition in the person.<ref name="Understanding concerns" />

Wanda Malcolm, a registered psychologist, states: "It is not a good idea to make forgiveness an a-priori goal of therapy".<ref name="Wanda" /> [[Steven Stosny]] asserts that you must heal first and then forgive ({{em|not}} forgive then heal);<ref name="Stosny" /> that fully acknowledging the grievance (both what actions were harmful, and naming the emotions the victim felt as a response to the offender's actions) is an essential first step before forgiveness can occur.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Luskin |first1=Fred |title=Forgive For Good |date=January 21, 2013 |publisher=HarperOne |isbn=978-0062517210 |url-access=registration |url=https://archive.org/details/forgiveforgoodpr00lusk }}</ref>

Some researchers worry that forgiveness interventions promote unhealthy relationships.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /><ref name="Stover 2005">{{cite journal|last1=Stover|first1=C.S.|title=Domestic Violence Research: What Have We Learned and Where Do We Go From Here?|journal=Journal of Interpersonal Violence|date=1 April 2005|volume=20|issue=4|pages=448–454|doi=10.1177/0886260504267755|pmid=15722500|s2cid=22219265}}</ref> They worry that individuals with toxic relationships will continue to forgive those who continuously commit wrong acts towards them, when in fact they should be distancing themselves from those sorts of people.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /><ref name="Stover 2005" />

Several studies showcase high effectiveness rates of forgiveness interventions when done continuously over a long period.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> But some researchers have found these interventions ineffective when done over short periods.<ref name="Understanding concerns" />

=== Children ===
Some studies looked at the effectiveness of forgiveness interventions on young children, including several cross-cultural studies.<ref name="Understanding concerns" /> One looked at forgiveness interventions and Chinese children who were less likely to forgive those who had wronged them, finding an effect{{specify|date=July 2023}} of such interventions on the children.<ref name="Understanding concerns" />

===Older adults===

Older adults who receive forgiveness interventions report higher levels of forgiveness than those who did not receive treatment. Forgiveness treatments resulted in lower depression, stress, and anger than no-treatment conditions. Forgiveness interventions also enhance positive psychological aspects{{specify|date=July 2023}}. This was regardless of the specific intervention model or format (group or individual).<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=López |first1=Javier |last2=Serrano |first2=Maria Inés |last3=Giménez |first3=Isabel |last4=Noriega |first4=Cristina |date=January 2021 |title=Forgiveness Interventions for Older Adults: A Review |journal=Journal of Clinical Medicine |language=en |volume=10 |issue=9 |page=1866 |doi=10.3390/jcm10091866 |pmid=33925790 |pmc=8123510 |issn=2077-0383|doi-access=free }}</ref>

== Mental health ==
Survey data from 2000 showed that 61% of those participants who were part of a small religious group reported that the group helped them be more forgiving.<ref name="How Religious Groups Promote Forgiving">{{Cite journal|title = How Religious Groups Promote Forgiving: A National Study|journal = Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion|year=2000|volume = 39|issue = 2|doi = 10.1111/0021-8294.00011|first = Robert|last = Wuthnow|pages=125–139}}</ref> People who reported that their religious groups promoted forgiveness also related success in overcoming addictions, guilt, and perceiving encouragement when feeling discouraged.{{clarify|date=July 2023}}<ref name="How Religious Groups Promote Forgiving" />

[[Mindfulness]] may play a role as a mediator in the relationship between forgiveness and health outcomes.<ref name="Forgiveness, Mindfulness, and Health">{{Cite journal|title = Forgiveness, Mindfulness, and Health|journal = Mindfulness|date = 2012-06-22|issn = 1868-8527|pages = 235–245|volume = 4|issue = 3|doi = 10.1007/s12671-012-0119-0|first1 = Jon R.|last1 = Webb|first2 = T. Dustin|last2 = Phillips|first3 = David|last3 = Bumgarner|first4 = Elizabeth|last4 = Conway-Williams|s2cid = 144214249}}</ref> When combined with mindfulness, forgiveness has a beneficial impact on physical health. However, the effects of forgiveness on health are contingent upon the presence and practice of mindfulness.<ref name="Forgiveness, Mindfulness, and Health" />

Self-forgiveness is an important part of self-acceptance and mental health in stages of life.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness A Component">{{Cite journal|title = Self-Forgiveness A Component of Mental Health in Later Life|journal = Research on Aging|date = 2005-05-01|issn = 0164-0275|pages = 267–289|volume = 27|issue = 3|doi = 10.1177/0164027504274122|first1 = Berit|last1 = Ingersoll-Dayton|first2 = Neal|last2 = Krause|s2cid = 210225071}}</ref> Failing to achieve self-forgiveness can have negative effects on mental health.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness A Component" /> Among the elderly, self-forgiveness often involves introspection about past wrongdoings, aiming to prevent their recurrence; this process contributes to enhancing their authentic self-concept.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness A Component" /> When people successfully learn from transgressions, they may experience improved mental health.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness A Component" />

Self-forgiveness can reduce feelings of guilt and shame associated with [[hypersexual]] behavior.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual Behavior">{{Cite journal|title = Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual Behavior|journal = Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity|date = 2015-01-02|issn = 1072-0162|pages = 59–70|volume = 22|issue = 1|doi = 10.1080/10720162.2014.1001542|first1 = Joshua N.|last1 = Hook|first2 = Jennifer E.|last2 = Farrell|first3 = Don E.|last3 = Davis|first4 = Daryl R. Van|last4 = Tongeren|first5 = Brandon J.|last5 = Griffin|first6 = Joshua|last6 = Grubbs|first7 = J. Kim|last7 = Penberthy|first8 = Jamie D.|last8 = Bedics|s2cid = 145006916}}</ref> Hypersexual behaviour can cause [[Suffering|distress]] and life problems.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual Behavior" /> Self-forgiveness may help individuals reduce hypersexual negative behaviours that cause problems.<ref name="Self-Forgiveness and Hypersexual Behavior" />

Self-forgiveness may be associated with procrastination; self-forgiveness allows a person to overcome the negative effects linked to earlier behaviour and adopt proactive approaches toward similar tasks.<ref name="I forgive myself">{{Cite journal|title = I forgive myself, now I can study: How self-forgiveness for procrastinating can reduce future procrastination|journal = Personality and Individual Differences|year = 2010|volume = 48|issue = 7|doi = 10.1016/j.paid.2010.01.029|first1 = Michael J. A.|last1 = Wohl|first2 = Timothy A.|last2 = Pychyl|first3 = Shannon H.|last3 = Bennett|pages = 803–808}}</ref> Embracing self-forgiveness in the context of procrastination can enhance self-esteem and mental well-being, potentially leading to a reduction in procrastination tendencies.<ref name="I forgive myself" />

The self-help book ''Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health'' details the benefits and the mental, physical, and psychological results of forgiveness. Stress relief may be the chief factor that connects forgiveness and well-being. Levels of stress go down when levels of forgiveness rise, resulting in a decrease in mental health symptoms.<ref>{{Cite web|last=Weir|first=Kirsten|date=January 2017|title=Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health|url=https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner|website=APA CE Corner}}</ref>

Forgiveness lifts a burden, as the forgiver no longer feels anger or hatred toward the transgressor, and may better understand the transgressor. This improves their health and outlook.<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Raj|first1=Paul|last2=Elizabeth|first2=C.S.|last3=Padmakumari|first3=P.|date=2016-12-31|editor-last=Walla|editor-first=Peter|title=Mental health through forgiveness: Exploring the roots and benefits|journal=Cogent Psychology|language=en|volume=3|issue=1|pages=1153817|doi=10.1080/23311908.2016.1153817|s2cid=73654630|issn=2331-1908|doi-access=free}}</ref>

A meta-analysis of several controlled studies of forgiveness-oriented psychological interventions tried to determine whether certain classes of intervention helped people to forgive, and also whether this helped their emotional health in general.<ref>{{cite journal|first1=Thomas W.|last1=Baskin|first2=Robert D.|last2=Enright|title=Intervention Studies on Forgiveness: A Meta-Analysis|journal=Journal of Counseling & Development|year=2004|volume=82 |pages=79–90 |doi=10.1002/j.1556-6678.2004.tb00288.x |url=https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/Baskin-InterventionForgiveness.pdf}}</ref> It found strong support for forgiveness interventions that helped people go through a multi-step process of forgiveness, but no support for forgiveness interventions that were designed merely to help people ''decide to'' forgive.

Another meta-analysis examined how forgiveness interventions affected depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, and concluded that "interventions designed to promote forgiveness are more effective at helping participants achieve forgiveness and hope and reduce depression and anxiety than either no treatment or alternative treatments."<ref>{{cite journal|first1=Nathaniel|last1=Wade|first2=William|last2=Hoyt|first3=Julia|last3=Kidwell|first4=Everett|last4=Worthington|title=Efficacy of Psychotherapeutic Interventions to Promote Forgiveness: A Meta-Analysis|journal=Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology|year=2013|volume=82 |issue=1 |pages=154–170 |doi=10.1037/a0035268 |pmid=24364794 }}</ref>

==Physical health==
[[File:Flickr - DVIDSHUB - Army Reserve 2010 Best Warrior Competition Army Physical Fitness Test.jpg|thumb|Physical fitness]]

Some studies claim that there is no correlation, either positive or negative between forgiveness and physical health, and others show a positive correlation.<ref name="McCullough, Michael 2002">{{cite book|last1=McCullough|first1=Michael|first2=Charlotte|last2=Vanoyen|chapter=The Psychology of Forgiveness|title=Handbook of Positive Psychology|year=2002}}</ref>

===Evidence supporting a correlation===
People characterized by the personality trait of forgiveness tend to experience better physical health. A study focusing on relationships revealed that the level of forgiveness exhibited by individuals had a discernible impact on their physical well-being, regardless of whether they were in positive or negative relationships.<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Berry | first1 = Jack W. | last2 = Everett | first2 = L. Jr. Worthington | year = 2001 | title = Forgivingness, Relationship Quality, Stress While Imagining Relationship Events, and Physical and Mental Health | journal = Journal of Counseling Psychology | volume = 48 | issue = 4| pages = 447–55 | doi = 10.1037/0022-0167.48.4.447 }}</ref>

People who decide to genuinely forgive someone also have better physical health. This is due to the relationship between forgiveness and stress reduction. Forgiveness prevents poor physical health and manages good physical health.<ref name="Worthington, Everett L. 2004">{{cite journal | last1 = Worthington | first1 = Everett L. | last2 = Scherer | first2 = Michael | year = 2004 | title = Forgiveness Is an Emotion-focused Coping Strategy That Can Reduce Health Risks and Promote Health Resilience: Theory, Review, and Hypotheses | journal = Psychology & Health | volume = 19 | issue = 3| pages = 385–405 | doi = 10.1080/0887044042000196674 | s2cid = 10052021 }}</ref>

People who choose to forgive another have lower [[blood pressure]] and lower [[cortisol]] levels than those who do not. This is theorized to be due to forgiveness and suggests forgiveness is an evolutionarily-selected trait.<ref name="Worthington, Everett L. 2004" /> Direct influences of forgiveness include: Reducing hostility (which is inversely correlated with physical health), and that unforgiveness may degrade the [[immune system]] because it puts stress on the individual. Indirect influences are more related to forgiveness as a personality trait and include: people who are forgiving may have more [[social support]] and less stressful marriages, and forgiveness may be related to other personality traits that correlate with physical health.<ref name="Worthington, Everett L. 2004" />

{{See also|Broaden-and-build}}

Forgiveness may also correlate with physical health because hostility is associated with poor coronary performance. Unforgiveness is a sort of hostility, and forgiveness is letting go of hostility. Heart patients who are treated with therapy that includes forgiveness to reduce hostility have improved cardiac health compared to those who are treated with medicine alone.<ref name="McCullough, Michael 2002" />
	
Forgiveness may also lead to an improvement in an individual's perception of their own physical health. This correlation applies to both self-forgiveness and other-forgiveness but is especially true of self-forgiveness. Individuals who are more capable of forgiving themselves have better perceived physical health.<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Wilson | first1 = T. | last2 = Milosevic | first2 = A. | last3 = Carroll | first3 = M. | last4 = Hart | first4 = K. | last5 = Hibbard | first5 = S. | year = 2008 | title = Physical Health Status in Relation to Self-Forgiveness and Other-Forgiveness in Healthy College Students | journal = Journal of Health Psychology | volume = 13 | issue = 6| pages = 798–803 | doi = 10.1177/1359105308093863 | pmid = 18697892 | s2cid = 24569507 }}</ref>

People who forgive can have healthier hearts, fewer depression symptoms, and less anxiety. Forgiveness can help mental health, especially with people who have mental disorders. Forgiveness can also improve the immune system.<ref>{{cite web|last=Mayo Clinic Staff|date=13 November 2020|title=Forgiveness; Letting go of grudges and bitterness|url=https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692|access-date=10 April 2021|website=Mayo Clinic}}</ref>

===Criticisms===
{{expand section|date=January 2016}}
Forgiveness studies have been refuted by critics who claim that there is no direct correlation between forgiveness and physical health. Forgiveness, due to the reduction of directed anger, contributes to mental health, and mental health contributes to physical health, but there is no evidence that forgiveness itself directly improves physical health.

Most of the studies on forgiveness cannot isolate it as an [[independent variable]] in an individual's well-being, so it is difficult to prove [[causation (sociology)|causation]].<ref name="McCullough, Michael E. 2000">{{cite book|last1=McCullough|first1=Michael E.|first2=Kenneth I.|last2=Pargament|first3=Carl E.|last3=Thoresen|title=Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice|location=New York|publisher=Guilford Press|year=2000}}</ref>

Although there is limited research directly linking forgiveness to physical health, there are certain factors{{vague|date=July 2023}} that suggest{{how|date=July 2023}} a potential connection. This is particularly relevant to physiological indicators{{specify|date=July 2023}} and how the process of forgiveness may affect the body's responses in various situations throughout daily life.<ref name=":1">{{Cite journal|last1=vanOyen-Witvliet|first1=Charlotte|last2=Ludwig|first2=Thomas E.|last3=Vander Laan|first3=Kelly L.|year=2001|title=Granting Forgiveness or Harboring Grudges: Implications for Emotion, Physiology, and Health|journal=Psychological Science|volume=12|issue=2|pages=117–123|issn=0956-7976|jstor=40063597|doi=10.1111/1467-9280.00320|pmid=11340919|s2cid=473643|url=https://digitalcommons.hope.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2300&context=faculty_publications}}</ref>

Research into the correlation between physical health and forgiveness has been criticized for being too focused on unforgiveness. Research shows more about what hostility and unforgiveness contribute to poor health than it shows about what forgiveness contributes to good health.<ref name="McCullough, Michael E. 2000" /> Unforgiving or holding grudges can contribute to adverse health outcomes by perpetuating anger and heightening SNS{{Expand acronym|1=in|date=July 2023}} arousal and cardiovascular reactivity. Expression of anger has been strongly associated with chronically elevated blood pressure and with the aggregation of platelets, which may increase vulnerability to heart disease.<ref name=":1" />

== Self-forgiveness ==
[[File:Self Forgiveness.jpg|thumb|Self-forgiveness is commonly associated with reflection.]]
Self-forgiveness happens in response to situations in which someone has done something they perceive to be morally wrong and that they consider themselves to be responsible for.<ref name="Ethical aspects of self-forgiveness">{{cite journal|title = Ethical aspects of self-forgiveness|journal = Sats|volume = 15|url = https://www.academia.edu/8498542|access-date = 2015-08-11|url-status = live|archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20151002033424/http://www.academia.edu/8498542/Ethical_aspects_of_self-forgiveness|archive-date = 2015-10-02|last1 = Gamlund|first1 = Espen|year=2014| issue=2 | doi=10.1515/sats-2014-0006 | s2cid=147396952 }}</ref> Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative emotions that the wrongdoer associates with the wrongful action, which can include guilt, regret, remorse, blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.<ref name="Ethical aspects of self-forgiveness" />

Major life events that include [[Psychological trauma|trauma]] can cause individuals to experience feelings of guilt or self-hatred.<ref name="Self-forgiveness and forgiveness">{{Cite journal|title = Self-forgiveness and forgiveness|journal = The Heythrop Journal|year = 2011|volume = 53|issue = 4|doi = 10.1111/j.1468-2265.2010.00611.x|first = Zenon|last = Szablowinski|pages=678–689}}</ref> People can reflect on their behaviours to determine if their actions are moral.<ref name="Self-forgiveness and forgiveness" /> In situations of trauma, people may self-forgive by allowing themselves to change and live a moral life.<ref name="Self-forgiveness and forgiveness" /> Self-forgiveness may be required in situations where the individual hurt themselves or in situations where they hurt others.<ref name="Self-forgiveness and forgiveness" /> Self-forgiveness has a moderating effect between depression and suicidality. this suggests that self-forgiveness (up to a point) is protective against suicide, hinting at possible prevention strategies.<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Jung|first1=Minjee|last2=Park|first2=Yeonsoo|last3=Baik|first3=Seung Yeon|last4=Kim|first4=Cho Long|last5=Kim|first5=Hyang Sook|last6=Lee|first6=Seung-Hwan|date=February 2019|title=Self-Forgiveness Moderates the Effects of Depression on Suicidality|journal=Psychiatry Investigation|volume=16|issue=2|pages=121–129|doi=10.30773/pi.2018.11.12.1|issn=1738-3684|pmc=6393745|pmid=30808118}}</ref>

=== Therapeutic model===
People can unintentionally cause harm or offence to one another. It is important that individuals recognize when this happens, and, in the process of making amends, to self-forgive.<ref name=":0">{{cite journal | last1 = Fisher | first1 = M.L. | last2 = Exline | first2 = J.J. | year = 2010 | title = Moving toward self-forgiveness: Removing barriers related to shame, guilt, and regret | journal = Social and Personality Psychology Compass | volume = 4 | issue = 8| pages = 548–558 | doi = 10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00276.x }}</ref> The ability to forgive oneself can benefit a person's emotional and mental well-being.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015">{{multiref2
|1={{cite journal | last1 = Cornish | first1 = Marilyn A. | last2 = Wade | first2 = Nathaniel G. | year = 2015 | title = A therapeutic model of self-forgiveness with intervention strategies for counselors | journal = Journal of Counseling & Development | volume = 93 | issue = 1| pages = 96–104 | doi = 10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00185.x }}
|2={{cite journal|first1=Nathaniel|last1=Wade|first2=Marilyn|last2=Cornish|title=How to forgive yourself|journal=Aeon|date=29 March 2023|url=https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-forgive-yourself-and-move-past-a-hurtful-mistake}}
}}</ref> The ability to forgive oneself for past offences can lessen negative emotions such as shame and guilt, and can increase positive practices such as self-kindness and [[self-compassion]].<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> However, the process of self-forgiveness may be misinterpreted and therefore not accurately completed.<ref name=":0" /> This could lead to increased feelings of regret or self-blame.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> To avoid this, and to increase the positive benefits associated with genuine self-forgiveness, a specific therapeutic model of self-forgiveness can be used to encourage genuine self-forgiveness. The proposed model has four key elements: responsibility, remorse, restoration, and renewal:<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> 
# Responsibility is the first necessary step towards genuine self-forgiveness.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> To avoid the negative effect associated with emotions such as overwhelming guilt or regret, offenders must first recognize that they have hurt another person, and accept responsibility for their actions.<ref name=":0" /><ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> 
# Once the person accepts responsibility, it is natural for them to experience feelings of remorse or guilt. However, these feelings can be genuinely processed and expressed.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> 
# Restoration allows the offending person to make the necessary amends to the person(s) they have hurt.
# Is renewal, the offending person can genuinely forgive himself/herself for their past transgressions and can engage in more positive and meaningful behaviors such as self-compassion and self-kindness.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> 
The process of self-forgiveness is not always applicable for every person.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> For example, people who have not caused others any harm or wrongdoing, but instead suffer from negative emotions such as self-hatred or self-pity—such as victims of assault—might attempt self-forgiveness for their perceived offences. However, this would not be the process necessary for them to make their amends.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> Additionally, offenders who continue to offend while attempting to forgive themselves for past offences demonstrate a reluctance to genuinely complete the four stages necessary for self-forgiveness.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" /> It is important to first gather{{clarify|reason=who gathers?|date=July 2023}} exterior{{clarify|reason=exterior to what?|date=July 2023}} information about the persons's perceived offences as well as their needs and motivation for self-forgiveness.<ref name="Cornish Wade 2015" />

== Unapologetic forgiveness ==
To be unapologetic is to refuse to apologize for or even recognize wrongdoings. "[T]he relationship between apologies and the adjectives 'apologetic' and 'unapologetic' is not quite so straightforward."<ref name="Glen. 2012">{{Cite book|title=Forgiveness and love|first=Glen|last=Pettigrove|year=2012|publisher=Oxford University Press|isbn=9780191654855|location=Oxford|oclc=810531587}}</ref> Choosing to forgive someone or not correlates with whether or not that person is truly sorry for their actions.<ref name=Pettigrove2004>{{cite journal|last=Pettigrove|first=Glen|title=Unapologetic Forgiveness|date=July 2004|journal=American Philosophical Quarterly|volume=41|number=3|pages=187–204|jstor=20010156}}</ref> Forgiving a person who does not seem remorseful for their actions can be difficult, but may loosen the grip the person has over you. [[Intrusive thought]]s can cause the person who wants to forgive to have feelings of low self-worth and to endure a traumatic phase due to that person's actions.<ref>{{cite web |title=Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness |url=https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692|date=2022-11-22 |website=Mayo Clinic |publisher=Mayo Clinic Staff}}</ref> Going through a negative experience can cause long term trauma. A person may benefit from letting go and accepting what has happened.<ref>{{Cite web|first=Beata|last=Souders|date=2019-08-13|title=Why is Forgiveness Important?|url=https://positivepsychology.com/why-is-forgiveness-important/|access-date=2020-11-20|website=PositivePsychology.com|language=en-US}}</ref> Letting go does not erase what the person did, but forgiveness can lead to inner-peace from the lack of negative emotion within. Despite the other person not apologizing sincerely, forgiving them may be the solution to problems and result in loving one's self.{{r|Pettigrove2004}}

[[Jean Hampton]] sees the decision to forgive the unrepentant wrongdoer as expressing a commitment "to see a wrongdoer in a new, more favorable light" as one who is not completely rotten or morally dead.<ref name="Glen. 2012"/>

=== Character retributivism ===
{{context inline|date=July 2023}}
# Forgiveness could be offered only at a significant temporal removal from the wrongdoing.
# The enforcement of justice, at least concerning punishing or rewarding, falls outside the purview of personal forgiveness.
# Forgiveness operates at a different level than justice.<ref name="Glen. 2012"/>

== See also ==
* {{annotated link|[[A Course in Miracles]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Anantarika-karma]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Clementia]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Compassion]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Contrition]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Eleos]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Ethics in religion]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Ho'oponopono]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Letter of Reconciliation of the Polish Bishops to the German Bishops]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Pardon]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Regret]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Relational transgressions]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Remorse]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Repentance]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Resentment]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Truth and reconciliation commission|Truth and Reconciliation Commission]]}}
* {{annotated link|[[Unconditional love]]}}

== References ==
=== Citations ===
{{Reflist|30em}}

=== Bibliography ===
* {{cite book | last=Cecrle | first=Randall J.| title=Balancing the Scales of Justice with Forgiveness and Repentance | publisher=DREC Enterprises | year=2007 | isbn=978-1-60266-041-0}}
* {{cite book | first=Susan |last=Forward |title=Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life|year=1990}}
* {{cite book | last=Griswold | first=Charles | title=Forgiveness: a Philosophical Exploration | publisher=Cambridge University Press | year=2007 | isbn=978-0-521-70351-2}}
* {{cite book | first=David |last=Konstan |title=Before Forgiveness: The Origins of a Moral Idea|location=Cambridge/New York|publisher= Cambridge University Press|year=2010}}
* {{cite book | last1=Kramer | first1=Joel | last2=Alstad | first2=Diana | title=The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power | publisher=Frog Books | year=1993 | isbn=1-883319-00-5}}
* {{cite book | last=Lampert | first=Khen | title=Traditions of Compassion: From Religious Duty to Social Activism | publisher=Palgrave Macmillan | year=2005 | isbn=1-4039-8527-8}}
* {{cite book | first=Eric |last=Lomax |title=The Railway Man: A POW's Searing Account of War, Brutality, and Forgiveness}}
* {{cite book | first=Fred |last=Luskin |title=Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness|publisher=Harper|year=2002}}
* {{citation |first=G. |last=Marcus |title=The Power of Forgiveness| year=2011 |publisher=Sapients.Net}}
* {{citation | first1=J. |last1=Murphy |first2=J. |last2=Hampton |title=Forgiveness and Mercy |publisher=Cambridge University Press| year=1988}}
* {{cite book | first=K. |last=Norlock |title=Forgiveness from a Feminist Perspective|publisher=Lexington Books|year=2009}}
* {{cite book | first=G. |last=Pettigrove |title=Forgiveness and Love|publisher=Oxford University Press|year=2012}}
* {{cite book | last=Safer | first=Jeanne | title=Forgiving and Not Forgiving: Why Sometimes It's Better Not to Forgive | publisher=HarpPeren | year=2000 | isbn=0-380-79471-3}}
* {{cite book | last=Schmidt | first=Doug | title=The Prayer of Revenge: Forgiveness in the Face of Injustice | publisher=David C Cook | year=2003 | isbn=0-7814-3942-6}}
* {{cite book | last=Tipping | first=Colin C. | title=Radical Forgiveness: Making Room for the Miracle | publisher=Quest Publishing & Distribution | date=1997 | isbn=0-9704814-1-1}}

== External links ==
{{Wikiversity|Forgiving}}
{{Commons category|Forgiveness}}
{{Wiktionary}}
{{Wikiquote|Forgiveness}}

* {{Cite SEP |url-id=forgiveness|title=Forgiveness|first=Paul|last=Hughes||first2=Brandon|last2=Warmke}}

{{Christian Soteriology}}
{{Emotion-footer}}
{{Jainism topics}}
{{Virtues}}

{{Authority control}}

[[Category:Emotions]]
[[Category:Kindness]]
[[Category:Moral psychology]]
[[Category:Mythology]]
[[Category:Philosophy of love]]
[[Category:Religious ethics]]
[[Category:Religious practices]]
[[Category:Spirituality]]
[[Category:Virtue]]

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