Origin Story[]
Chapter One: Goth Sue! | The Beginning[]
The lonely goth girl made her way down the hallway, her black hair with hot pink streaks fluttering threateningly behind her. Her black nails were decorated with various satanic symbols. Suddenly, the school's mean girl, Tiffany, who is a cheerleader and the most popular girl in school (ew. Fuking preps.) sneered at Black.
"You look nice, Black. What dumpster did you get your clothes out of?" Then she (Tiffany. Cheerleader. Prep) turned to her posse of dumb blonde cheerleaders and laughed like she had just said the funniest thing ever. When they stared at her dumbly she snapped at them "Laugh!" They (Dumb. Blonde. Cheerleaders.) bust out laughing.
"Shut up, preps!" Black snapped. Suddenly, the cheerleaders were ugly and all the boys thought Black Darkness was the most beautiful girl they had ever seen. She grabbed the nearest jock and snogged him. Suddenly, Black frantically started to scrub her nails violently, trying to remove her black nail polish. The jock (Chase. Quarterback. Hottie.) asked her what the matter was — "OH MAH GURD! THERE ARE SATANIC SYMBOLS ON MY NAILS. I'M A CHRISTIAN NOW BECAUSE I'M POPULAR SO LIKE I NEED TO GET SAVED AND BAPTISED AND BLEACH MY HAIR BLONDE SO I'M PRETTY! ALSO MY NAME IS ALISON ASHLEY NOW!"
Chapter Two: Popular Sue! | Kidnapped by Famous Creepypasta[]
Alison Ashley's platinum blonde hair swung fabulously as she walked. Her Gucci bag was hanging off her shoulder and her Prada shoes gleamed in the light. She heard a voice behind her calling "Black Darkness! Hey, wait up!" She frowned and turned around to come face to face with... OMG Jeff the Killer!
"Actually, it's Alison Ashely now." And she grabbed a random jock (Chase. Still a quarterback. Still smoking hot.) and kissed him to prove her point. Jeff looked at them jealously and as soon as she finished kissing the jock (Chase), Jeff grabbed his iPhone 11 Pro Max out his pocket and texted someone. Chase, looking bored, muttered a goodbye and walked off. Alison waved goodbye as a white van pulled up. Jeff grabbed her by her delicate wrist and shoved her in the van. "OMFG! HALP I AM BEING KIDNAPPED BY JOFF DE KILLA, ONE OF THE SEXIEST GU- wait a minute... nevermind, everyone. I'm going willingly with this guy." (The author gagged when he wrote this but still... anything for the fic) Alison got in the van and they drove off.
(Literally no offense intended)
Chapter Three: Peasant (but secretly royalty) Sue! | Mate of one or all Creepypastas[]
Alison Ashley climbed out of the white van gracefully. Jeff, still holding her wrist, (for no reason whatsoever) yanked her back in the white van. Which was white. (Did I mention the van was white. Because only bad kidnappers use black vans. Did you know the van was white?) When Alison protested, Jeff leaned in so he could whisper in her ear. Her breath caught in her throat. Jeff opened his mouth to speak...
"I'M NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER MY CLOTHES!" He screamed in her ear. (Quite loudly)
"WHAT THE FUcccckkkKK!" She hollered. Alison leaped from the van and frantically ran to the door of the Slender Mansion and beat on the door. "Lemme in!" Suddenly, the door swing wide open and Masky grabbed her wrist and smiled behind his feminine looking mask before yanking her inside. He closed the door and shoved her up against it and started snogging her. Alison immediately stopped kissing him and slapped him clear across the face.
"But... but... you are my mate and werewolf royalty." He said, nearly tearing up. Alison looked up at him and she frowned.
"OMG! ROYALTY! I NEED TO CHANGE MY NAME AND PERSONALITY TO FIT THE PLOT DEVELOPMENT! From hereby I shall be known as "Queen Darkness Alison Black Ashely Turquoise Pink Bloody Mary Smiles" and I am delicate and mean. But also totally nice and everyone will love me!" Maksy nodded his agreement. "Okay babe, let's get hitched in Vegas!"
Queen Darkness Alison Black Ashely Turquoise Pink Bloody Mary Smiles woke up the next morning in a hotel room in Vegas.
Chapter Four: Emo Sue[]
Queen Darkness Alison Black Ashely Turquoise Pink Bloody Mary Smiles... get this... frowned. Masky was nowhere to be found. Queen Darkness Aliso- (forget that. I'm calling her Smiles) slid out of bed and a note fluttered to the floor. She looked down at it curiously. Smiles (being Smiles) picked up the note and read it.
Dear Queen Darkness Alison Black Ashely Turquoise Pink Bloody Mary Smiles, The Creepypastas and I have decided to leave you. You were never my mate and I didn't really marry you. It was after all a Vegas wedding. You should not come looking for us.
All our hate,
Masky and the Creepypastas
Hands shaking, Smiles dropped the note. Ten seconds later she shrieked loudly and then said "Well, I suppose I need to change my name and personality again to fit the plot... I suppose I will be "Skye" and this time I will be emo." She ripped off her clothes to reveal that she had a band t-shirt and black skinny jeans. She took her hair down and put on a beanie. Picking up her phone she called her cousin from England (which I don't own) Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. "Enoby!" A faint cry of "SHES NOT A MARY SU!" could be heard in the background.
Chapter Five: Emo Sue (Part 2)[]
Recap:
Picking up her phone she called her cousin from England (which I don't own) Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. "Enoby!" A faint cry of "SHES NOT A MARY SUE!" could be heard in the background.
"Lyk hi Skye!" Ebony said. (Despite not being informed about the name changes) "C i lyk m goffic i can lyk help u w/ ur gawffic-ness becose emo and goffic r the sam thin practicly."
"Actually-" Skye started.
"This is lyk the besstest thin evah!" Ebony said sadly. "Imma guna evaporate ofer ther quik an hlp u!" She said depressedly. Soon. A flash of light and some sparking glitter and five My Chemical Romance songs (played backwards and very loudly with screams coming from it periodically) later, a girl appeared. "Hi bitch. U lok ugly. We ned 2 fx it." Ebony said sadly, she grabbed Skye's wrist and dragged her off into a swirling black portal of blackness. 3 weeks later, Ebony emerged. Ebony was dressed in clothes that I will not go into mind-numbing detail about. Skye stepped out tentatively behind her, shaking with a worried look in her eyes. She was wearing black and purple striped tights, a mini skirt (black, of course) and a low tank top (black again) and her hair was dyed a shocking purple. (Dear readers, I only described this to tell you how traumatized Skye is.) "Lyk u lok so mch beter now tht i hlped u!" Ebony exclaimed in a gothic way. Skye could only blink in response. "Bitch u r so rud nut 1 thnx. Im out." Ebony disappeared with a piercing shriek, knocking Skye out of her dazed state. She looked at the clothes she wore and her eyes grew wide.
"What is this?" She thought. "No matter," She decided. "It's coming off." As she stepped into the bathroom and started to unload her pockets. "Ebony must have put this stuff in my pockets." She realized after pulling our some razors from her pocket. "For my hair, I should think" she peeled the clothes off and changed.
"Thank goodness." She sighed.
Chapter Six: Poor (But Secretly Rich) Sue![]
Recap:
"Thank goodness." She sighed.
Sometime later
Skye looked up angrily at the sky and shook her fist. "Professor! Don't ignore me! I know you are up there." As she talked, a little girl and her mother walked past. The mother looked at Skye and covered her child's ears. Skye looked at the woman, (whose name was Celine) for a moment. Celine scuttled off with her child in her arms. Skye shrugged and continued yelling as the sky. "Professor! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! Do not ignore me." A white light shone down on Skye and a voice, that only Skye could hear, spoke.
"What? Wai- Skye? Sorry, doll! I forgot all about you..."
"Yes you did."
"I'll make it up to you."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
"I wanna be poor, but secretly rich."
"But you'll know..."
"It's to make the Creepypastas jealous."
"Ah.. okay... It... is... Done! I have a feeling I'm going to regret this."
"Yup."
Chapter Seven: Poor (But Secretly Rich Part 2) | Adopted by Creepypastas[]
"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this."
"Yup."
......
Skye walked down the street, her now short dark blue hair and black nail (wiv sanist simbols [duz dat snd lyke a Marie sue 2 u]) glistened in the sunlight. Skye strode past a Sephora and glanced at her reflection.
Skin - oh so soft
Lips - perfectly plump
Hair - smooth and silky
Clothes - perfect
Makeup - gorgeous
Skye shook her head and mubled
"Hideous."
All of a sudden, the Creepypastas jumped out from behind some bushes (which weren't there before) and Jeff started screaming his catchphrase "GOTOMUTHERFUCKINGSLEEP!" at the top of his lungs.
Skye gave him a Death Glare and Jeff dropped dead. (Literally)
Harry, seemingly unfazed by all this, was on the other side of the street.
Oh..
Wait...
Who's Harry?
No...
Oops! I meant Harry Potter, who was on a vacation (a.k.a running away from Ebony). Anyway, back to the actual story.
At this point, Ticci-Toby, who had been ignoring, got off the phone and announced loudly "Skye, we've adopted you against your will. Even though it makes no sense for us to do so. I should also let you know that, due to legal reasons, we changed your name back to your original one. You are now Black Darkness again."
The newly named Black Darkness looked at Ticci-Toby and shrugged. "So, do I get an allowance?" A chorus of yeses and one no came from them. The no, came from Masky who, seeing reason, had decided that he was probably trapped in another fanfiction author's story (do not ask)** and had plans to liquidate his bank accounts (if this version had more than one) and live on an island.
BEN_DROWNED, Ticci-Toby, and Laughing Jack stared on as Masky walked off.
Black Darkness looked up at the sky. No doubt looking for the supreme being that presided over them all for guidance.
~ The End ~
Extra[]
**Reference to My Immortal
**This story was originally a poorly written Creepypasta OC that I edited into a joke Pasta fanfic and I'm toying with the idea of
**Special thanks to lauraa1298 on DeviantArt for the base picture