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A Tribute to Sanity (2002)
Weird VHS Nightmare Fuel
A Tribute To Sanity is a short by director Michael Todd Schneider. It has a similar feel to his movie I Never Left The White Room in that it seems to feel like a public access acid induced fever dream. Lots of bizarre nightmarish shots mixed with the most schizophrenic editing that can be jam packed in a 26 minute short.
Don't expect much story to dig your teeth in here. This short seems like it was more done for a practice run in filming, editing and special effects in order to work out the kinks for bigger projects in the future. Still a fun watch
If your into Michael Todd Schneider other work you'll find yourself right at home with this one.
Nekromania (2013)
A Pretty Good Short
Kasper Juhl is a director that I originally found myself completely detesting his films. It's a pleasure to say now I've actually grown to be a bit of a fan of his work and believe home to be a pretty talented original voice in the horror movie community. This film is another one of his original ideas that I am pleasantly surprised by.
The story is about a couple who bring a dead woman back to their house so one of them can fulfill their sexual necrophiliac desires.
At about 10 mins there's not really much that can be done with a short but it still managed to swerve my expectations and deliver a decent little story.
Make Them Suffer (2011)
Pleasant Surprise
When I first started watching Make Them Suffer I instantly started to fear that I was in for one of director Kasper Johl's crappy August Underground clone movies that he used to make since this came out around the same time as Sunken Danish and Monstrosity. But man did I get a pleasant surprise with this one.
This movie is a fairly simple story. A man kidnaps and then murders his victims all while spewing a bunch of nonsense about setting them free and now in death they get to really live.
Yea it's nothing that hasn't been done before but it's atleast fun. I would say if you're a fan of Juhl's work this isn't exactly a must see but it's a welcome change from his usual style, especially from that time period.
Everything Decays (2024)
Are We Even Trying Anymore???
Everything Decays is just another horror fetish porn nonsense that exceeds at nothing that's controversial or sexy. It's a complete and utter borefest! It's way too slow and excruciatingly way too long.
Director Jack Mulvanerty, who has made some decent stuff in the past seems to be barely trying with this one. Almost nothing happens that other films like this haven't done better. It's badly lit, poorly filmed, has no engaging soundtrack to cover for the lack of any sound and the acts on film are not that extreme for films like this. It's a complete waste of time and money. The only plus is the hot chick that's naked in this movie. Besides that don't waste your time with this one.
Center Jenny (2013)
Most Annoying Movie Ever!!!
Center Jenny is less of movie and more like taking LSD, Ecstasy and Meth all at the same time while marathon watching MTV randomly while each program fever dreams into one epileptic seizure of a movie. Non of it makes any sense. It's all just random nonsense with various annoying people doing various annoying things. Sometimes funny but mostly one huge choppy mess. And in a way that's kinda the charming thing about this. And if it was a 15-20 min short then it would be amusingly goofy. But at over an hour this skittish methed out, nightmare fuel version of mean girls just becomes brain melting dumpster fire! My 2 last brain cells are officially on life support after watching this. Thanks Center Jenny.
Under the Raven's Wing (2007)
Ok At Best Witch Found Footage Movie
Under The Raven's Wing is about a guy making a documentary that focuses on a hot group of witches which the main chick Raven seems to be the leader of them. She acts like a cult leader of sorts that she rules them with intimidation and mental manipulation. Throughout the film they keep mentioning a previous murder that they claim they committed. Most of the the time the film director guy seems to not believe them and seems to be more focused on getting these chicks naked on camera and banging the Spanish one (which I can't blame him, that Angel chick is one caliente mamacita!). Eventually these witches pick up some guy from a bar and Raven aims to prove how true her statement about them being murderers is.
Let me just say this is obviously made with zero to no budget at the start of the found footage boom. The camera is a cheap pixelated DV camera. The acting borders on passable to bad. The sfx are goofy and the stoning scene was laughable. But This isn't one of those found footage movies that are meant to look real so it's all forgivable. The movie is ok, but it's definitely not the great film the friends, family and cast are raving about on IMDB. Still a fun enough early found footage oddity that is better then it has a reason being.
Piggy Palace (2022)
Samhel Is Back And Worse Than ever!
So another Samhel movie here. And it might just be his least passionate movie yet. What do you mean by least passionate you might ask? Well let me explain. Usually a Samhel movie, even as badly made as they are have some sort of style. Usually full of hyper stylized edits and metal music throughout. This movie seems to be light on all that. And another aspect that he really dropped the ball on more than he's ever done is with the violence in this movie. Usually the violence is poorly done in all his films but atleast it looked like he tried. In this film it seems to be an afterthought completely.
The only positive I can say is the one thing he usually screws up in all his movies which is with the sex scenes. Usually he doesn't shoot enough of the scene to really enjoy in a porn aspect. This movie changes that completely and is pretty much just two women masturbating through the whole film with some ridiculous violent thing happening. The last scene you don't even know who or what killed the girl. She just dead on the floor out of nowhere.
Yea that's pretty much it. The whole movie is a complete and utter bore! It looks like Samhel is barely trying anymore. I can't imagine him making a lot of money from these movies if any at all. If I were him I might look for a job bagging groceries or something that doesn't require much brain power.
Toxic Obsession (2019)
Another Vanity Project Movie
Toxic Obsession is movie like Tommy Wiseau's "The Room" and the many wacky films of Neil Breen where the main star of this movie Jag Pannu just so happens to be the Producer and the Writer. Unlike the other two he's not the Director here and you can see the quality difference between their films and this one. This movie is obviously shot competently. But that's where the positives end in the professional aspect. And this story about every woman sexually obsessed with Pannu is where the Vanity project begins. In this every hot girl comically cannot keep their hands off this man. And not to knock Jag but he's not exactly what anybody would likely consider the sexiest man alive. Yet this movie plays this aspect deadly serious to the delight of bad movie aficionados everywhere.
This film is blissfully moronic! Between horrible acting, unrealistic romances, bad story and awkward moments a plenty, this is one fun watch!
The Life of Grace (2020)
Has To Be Experienced!
Life Of Grace is one of the movies that has to be seen to be believed! It is a brilliant, uniquely bizarre experience in the way just like Tommy Wiseau's "The Room". Probably not as absurdly oblivious as "The Room" because I can't imagine Jenifer Harvey who happens to be the Writer, Director, Producer and of course main Actress, not knowing exactly what kind of movie she's making here. With the dialogue, acting and story as weird and crazy as this is there's no way that this can be an unintentional accident especially after that nutty ending.
Honestly the only thing I'm upset about after watching this is that Jenifer Harvey has not made more Masterpieces for all of us to enjoy in midnight theaters.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The New Blood (2013)
Better Than The Last 3 Movies!
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: New Blood is as good as fan films generally get. Because in reality there's only about 10 percent of them that are excellent. And about another 20 percent are good. Another 20 percent I would say are average and the rest out right suck. This here belongs to the good territory. Mind you it's not really that good. But it's mostly gets the job done. It gets the feel right of the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Especially once they get to the hammering scene. The camera work is done pretty good in this here. And ending is more ballsy that I ever expected it would be.
So big props from me for making a better Texas Chainsaw movie than the last 3 entries.
Death by 1000 Cuts (2019)
Thankful It's The Short
Death By 1000 Cuts is short with good intentions, but lousy execution. The negatives start with the fact that this is a found footage movie that never remotely feels real. The news footage style all feels so badly done that gives off this very fake feel. And may I say the acting is absolutely atrocious! Mostly everyone comes off so wooden or just out right bad that you just can't get into the whole thing.
And let's talk about the twist ending. What the hell was that about. Like why was her parents trying to kill her?? I know they gave an explanation but the bad audio and the little that I heard made absolutely no sense. Then again who cares.
Oh and by the way there's supposed to be a full length version of this. Ughh I'll pass.
My Monster (2009)
Welcome To Seziuredome!
Before you watch the movie "My Monster" you got ask yourself a question. Do I like having seizures?! Now this might seem like a silly question to some but to people like me who have seen this movie I can't imagine any other question that would be relevant to this movie besides did anything really happen in this movie besides a bunch of static shots and frantic cuts?! Because in reality almost nothing happens in this cut happy seizure induced nightmare of borefest!
The funny thing is that this is actually the second time I'm watching this because I was convinced by the great reviews that I must have missed something but honestly I hated it more the second time after I realized how bad it really is.
Provokation (2002)
One Of Dora's Best!
Provokation is a short, like most of Marian Dora's shorts, was hard for me to find. But I'm glad that I finally found this one because I think they maybe one of Dora's best films.
It opens with a girl peeing. Then we see that her father gets aroused by it. Then he brutally attacks and kills her. Then the film starts getting really sick with Dora's trademark bodily fluids on display.
Look I don't wanna mention anymore simply because I don't know what else I can mention on IMDB but it's all pretty graphic and disgusting.
And yea normally I'm not a fan of this type a stuff from Dora but the way it's done feels more vile here. Probably because it's not stuffed in a long borefest of a movie with a crap storyline and unlikable characters like the rest of his work. It's just the violence and depravity all done right away with no animal violence.
Dark Circus (2016)
Nothing Magical Here
Oh boy where to start with this one?! So Dark Circus is about a girl who seems to have depression brought on by her unfulfilled, mundane existence. Now after she's been fired from her job she starts to commit self mutilation. So one day she's hanging out with her friends and some man with a funny hat summons her to follow him into this "fantasy world". And im putting "fantasy world" into quotations because honestly this seems more like they're just in some bad goth BDSM sex cult secret hideout. Anyways she meets some chick with a funny face mask with a bland monotonous voice that she needs to follow her and some other girl comes out of nowhere and unenthusiastically agrees with funny mask lady and blandly tells her she must go with her. So now the girl see's a bunch of BDSM and decides this is her life now.
So I know I might have missed a few things but this is mainly the plot. This movie is supposed to be an analogy for main character repressed secret desires manifesting into reality The problem with this movie is not necessarily the story but it's the way they try to present this world to you. At no times do they make this actually feel like any world that would actually suck anyone in. Every character is so uninteresting, monotonous and they just seem to wanna sexually exploit the main character one way or another. None of these qualities scream to me like this mythical magical oasis.
The world in general seems like a few S&M performances, some nude photo shoots and people shouting blandly at each other about absolutely nothing. At no times do they make this feel any deeper than what I just said. So I'm failing to see this "magical fantasy world" that this movie is trying to portray here. The only thing I can give this movie is that main chick atleast discovers her fondness for BDSM subculture and gives her new vigor to live now, so there's atleast that.
Maggot Farmers (2021)
Bizarre
Maggot Farmers is strange little short movie. One that even after it's over not quite fully understanding totally what I just watched or how I feel about it in general. The movie is just so oddly done. It kinda starts off like a brutal serial killer movie. And the 3 quarters in it turns into a living scarecrow film.
Look I'm not saying that this was bad because it wasn't. It just felt like too much shifting in storylines that I think would have been better kept separate. Instead it feels like two different movies stuffed in one film. And not entirely for the best.
Oh and I also got to say that This has got to be the driest gore film ever seen! I don't know how they did it but the lack of gooey blood makes ever thing look super plastic here.
Variant II (2023)
Modern Day Classic!!
Talk about a complete difference one movie makes! The first Variant was fun but admittedly tame effort. If was more of light sfx showcase with a goofy premise. And this one I can say's amplifies everything done well in the first one to and eleven here. Just from the NES beginning you know you're about to go on a hell of ride. But man I was not ready for this! There is some seriously wacky violence on display here. And the sfx are really delightful cheesy. There's an overall 80's SOV charm to the whole thing and to be honest this is one of the best SOV movies I've ever seen! Splatter heads and bad movie cinephiles must watch!
Blood Corrodes Inside: Sea of Blood (2019)
They're barely Trying Here
This movie is nothing more than just loose excuse to have Felicia Fisher show her hairy bush and have some fake blood and crappy prosthetics on her. Mind you I don't mind seeing it but this movie is barely making an effort here to actually have some kind of story. Just a couple chicks having a photo shoot go way out of hand. I don't know everything looks so laughably bad here makes you wonder what these A Baroque House guys learned if anything about making movies in all these years they've been around?
Honestly just like all there other productions not enough sex to be a decent porn and not good enough horror to even watch it on that level. So who is this for???
Gore Grind 2 (2022)
Much Better Than The First
I unfortunately had the displeasure of watching The first Gore Grind anthology. Nothing about it I can even say was remotely good about it. Fortunately for this one it's a huge leap forward in quality just based off 2 shorts. One is Neighbor No. 9 and the other is Keepsake.
Neighbor No. 9 is directed by Wilhelm Muller and it's easily the best short on here. It's about a man abducting a women and violently torturing and murdering her. Definitely gruesome!
Next Keepsake by Nathan Hine is a goofy short about a girl bringing some guy to her house and murdering him while having sex. Nothing that great about this one except for the father in the car telling his son to bang the chick good. And may I add it's a big disappointment that the girl in this was not nude because she has a smoking body. Besides that it's a fun enough watch.
After those two I really can't recommend any other short here. Some of them are really nothing worth watching or even enough content to even be called a short movie in the first place.
Hell (2018)
Creative Yet Unnecessary
Hell is basically a college students experimental art project. The focus is mostly on crazy edits and playing with special effects. There's some stop motion work and a lot of music spliced through the film. Which I'm sure they never got any licensing approval to any of the songs considering that they use a lot commercial music which I'm sure any song would cost more than this whole movie.
Overall it's like I said before, a college students art project. There's no story to speak of and over all it feels like some bad acid trip, fever dream. The beginning is fun enough but once it gets to the wrestling bit the movie starts tanking real quick. Besides that still a bit of fun to be had here. There's worse things to waste your time on.
Delirium (2015)
All Style No substance
If you could have a great movie just based off cool imagery then I guess this would be it . But what makes this great is also what makes this a complete, excruciating, bore! This movie is simply here just for eye candy because there is absolutely no plot. And yes they may B. S. with this whole parasites nonsense in its description and they make some vague dialogue about it in the movie but trust when I say it has nothing to do with the narrative. To be honest there is no narrative to speak of. This is simply a collection of good looking scenes that wear out there welcome in movie that's a little more than a hour long it feels way too long . It's a shame because visually this movie is very impressive. Besides that it's a complete waste of time.
Lung II (2016)
Wasted Potential
Lung is a movie I wanted to love badly. Being a fan of some of directors Phil Stevens movies I thought this would easily be another winner. Unfortunately I have to say this is not very good.
This movie reeks of artsy fartsy nonsense. It's a shame because Stevens movies are admittedly a bit artsy fartsy in general, but atleast they actually tell some kind of story. This seems to be more of some bizarre fever dream that never really wows you. It's all pretty boring actually. And for a movie made after Flowers I expected this to have more of a visual flare. Instead this film looks kinda drab. Like some bad art school project.
I heard the sequel is pretty much the same movie as this with some slight variations. If that's the truth I'm not looking forward to seeing it.
Within 304 (2003)
Decent Little Horror Short
Within 304 is a horror short for Phil Stevens the director who made and is most known for Flowers (2015) and is sequel Flowers 2 (2020). From what I can see this is his first movie and you can definitely see his unmistakable style all over this.
Just like the Flowers movie this is a silent film which I can say for the most part works. There are some moments that you don't quite grasp everything going on but they may be intentional. The movie is pretty dark and violent. And this movie moves quick making it a breeze in its brisk 43 min runtime.
Definitely a good starting point for anyone who wants to get into Phil Steven's work before watching some of his nuttier films.
Dead Butterfly: The Prophecy of Suffering Bible (2019)
Much Better Than The First!
Like I said in the title this entry in the Suffering Bible movie series is better than the first entry. Now mind you I remember nothing about the first one at all. All I remember is that it was complete trash. And while I mildly enjoyed this I'm not gonna say this a particularly good either. And in a way that's the charm of this one.
This entry is purely cheese. Nothing takes itself too seriously. It just seems to be a bunch of goofy shorts that exist in this weird bad acid trip realm that are only here to show a bit of violence and some light nudity. And I gotta say the red head in the first short has some serious headlights on her.
Besides that I would say you can skip this movie. But if you don't it's only an hour of your life, and there's worse ways to spend it like watching the first movie.
...In Furs (2016)
A Massive Fail!
...In Furs is a movie tries to be A lot smarter than it is. It plays like it's a dark psychological thriller but it ends up looking goofy and clumsy.
The story is about a guy who takes drugs and is either hallucinating the events that happen in the movie or he's actually doing all the murders he has done.
Now the premise sounds interesting enough but the execution is god awful! The director fails to really engage the audience and make you care about any of the story. By the end you never really find out what was real and not real and to be honest who really cares. I was just glad it was over. The only plus I can say is there's a great nude scene with the two beautiful actresses in this movie. And trust me that's all you need to ever see of this garbage!
The Masked Strangler (1999)
Abysmal!
I just had the displeasure of watching The Masked Strangler. I read a review that claimed that this movie was disturbing and violent, and boy I can say that's a complete over exaggeration.
This movie maybe a bit violent, in the most unbelievably amateurishly goofy way. But I can assure you there's no disturbing scenes to be found here unless you find it disturbing when some one chokes some one for 3 minutes while the victim unrealistically puts on no struggle. Or a guy licking a guy shoes because he told him to while not fighting back.
The only thing truly disturbing about this movie is how wretchedly bad it all is. It's pretty unwatchable!