Francis Fulford (landowner): Difference between revisions

Francis Fulford of Great Fulford (born 1953) lives at Great Fulford Manor, near Dunsford, in Devon and is the head of an ancient landed family. As a family with strong links to the Tories, rather than the Whigs, they remain members of the untitled nobility, a specifically British social class. Fulford has been the subject of several television programmes including The F***ing Fulfords, Why England's F***ed, and Why America Sucks.

His family is one of the oldest families in England and continues to occupy the same manor as was granted to their ancestor by Richard I of England in about 1190. There is evidence to suggest that the Fulford family pre-dated the Norman Conquest and were being confirmed the lands they already owned. The present house dates back to the 16th Century. He is celebrated for his prolific swearing. He is the author of Bearing Up: The Long View.

• “Crisis point? I wouldn’t call this a crisis point. One of my ancestors was hung, drawn and quartered in 1463. That’s what I call a fucking crisis point.”
• “My father made sure one tap still came from the well, Health and Safety came round — you had the sods even then — and discovered that our water was being filtered through a dead rabbit. We didn’t care. At least it meant we could go to India and not get the shits, eh?”
• On Frankie showing us around his home, Great Fulford Manor, one of my colleagues asked him what had caused the large, weed-overgrown hole in the battlements. "War damage" Frankie replied, typically laconic. "You mean you haven't had it fixed since 1945?" asked my friend, appalled. Frankie stopped and turned in disbelief. "Not THAT war. The fucking Civil War, you cunt!".
• "I never really envisaged ever asaking for a grant from the tax payer to help me maintain this house...as a private owner I make all he decisions; if i want to paint the whole bloody bright orange with yellow spots I can! You know, we've all learned our lesson, which is basically that, on the whole, the people who run English Heritage and the like are a load of wankers."

• "The only way to keep a stately home together is not to take your eye off the ball; to be careful not to gamble. And that's why we have held our land and our house for eight hundred years. Not that is that we haven't had the odd complete cretin; buy luckily we not had two in a row. There's an old rule of thumb that a family and estate can survive one idiot but can't survive two."

• "The only reason why this place exists in this current form is because primogeniture was always rigidly adhered to. In other words, for me to suddenly break the rule and say it's unfair is a load of bollocks. It is not unfair; it is totally fair; I give as I received. And it would be totally unfair to my ancestors for me to break that pledge; so it goes to Arthur."

• "I suppose an estate like this and a house like this is rather like a woman who spends too much bloody money; you know you've got to love her or you'd kick her out wouldn't you."

• "My philosophy if really based on a perpetual feeling of optimism in that eventually something always comes right and that you must not rush things because effectively you are trying to beat fate and fate always comes right in the long run."

• "South African business friend of mine - acquaintance - once said to me, he leant across the desk with a sort of evil - he was an evil bastard - gleam in his eye. "Frank, you know wha I've got?" and I said "No, what have you got?". He said, "I've got 'fuck you money'". And I thought then and I think now that there is no better definition of what I mean by real money than 'fuck you money'. You don't owe any bastard anything and you don't want anything so you've got 'fuck you money'. I unfortunately owe quite a few bastards a lot of money and I also want quite a lot

of stuff so I am a long, long way from having 'fuck you money'."

• "The greatest adventure of your life is to die. One really thinks of going up a big ladder and meeting one's father, mother and ancestors, grandparents and way back. I don't want to be the guy who screwed up or the guy who has to say "Sorry it's all gone, there's Mr.Smith of Goldman Sachs living there now" or some other ghastly character, you know. I don't want to be the guy. It would be a bit more worrying dying if I thought I had to tell Dad and the rest of the crew that little message."

• http://www.historichousevenues.com/prop_display.php4?&ContentID=2163
• http://www.timewellpress.com/book-publishers/bookpage.php?isbn=1-85725-203-9

• Great Fulford House - Historic Houses Association